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​The Second Man (or Woman) In

3/22/2021

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PicturePhotographer unknown
A leader can't lead without the first follower.

We have heroes in this world, men and women, who have led causes and people. Lincoln, Gandhi. Martin Luther King and Susan B. Anthony, to name a few. There are, however, heroes we never see or hear about. They are those that fight city hall or the school board, confront bullies, lead men into battle, charge into the unknown, risk death or injury to save a life, or speak a dissenting opinion. These are true heroes that rarely get their due for the chances they take or the ridicule they may bring on to themselves. Sometimes, they may even be on the wrong side of what is right in the view of most. That doesn't take away from their courage. As the title suggests, I'd like to speak, not for these heroes, but for the second man (or woman) in a fight.

Popularly held opinions are difficult to oppose. It takes a strong will and resilience to take on the forces against a dissenter. However, no matter how strong the leader may be, they will get nowhere until a second man joins the fight. This second man may not be as daring or have the characteristics necessary to lead, but they are brave enough to be supportive. Without that second man, there will never be a third or fourth to join in. When a tipping point of support is reached, these opposing issues have to be acknowledged. For instance, one woman at the turn of the 20th century, wanting the right to vote would be ignored or shunned until a second joins in. They both may be disregarded, but a third woman (or man) may join upon seeing the bravery and verification of the first supporter.

A lieutenant in battle raises to lead a charge. His heroism is for naught if none under his command rises behind him. It takes but one soldier being unhesitant to make the charge go forward. A woman jumps into a frozen lake to save a drowning child, but she may also die without the help of others who can throw a lifeline to them. The fastest way to stop a bully is to have someone intercede on behalf of the one being bullied. But the bullying will continue unless someone else, hopefully, many, supports the hero's efforts.

My point is this. I see many crazy ideas coming forth these days, especially culturally. Not all new ideas are crazy, most being helpful. Without them, we will never move forward as a society. But some trends or thoughts (choose your own trend or idea you think insane, or at least not helpful) are antithetical to our beliefs. If you see no hero speaking up, then you may reevaluate yourself and remain in your silent corner considering you are alone. Then again, maybe you will be the hero! If, however, someone else does speak for you, they deserve your backing in whatever way you can; otherwise, their voice will be drowned.

There are many ways to protect yourself, your family, and your society. If you fail to take action, you cannot complain when the circumstances overtake you. A silent, inactive majority cannot win against a vocal and aggressive minority. History has shown this is true.

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Do What’s Right!

3/15/2021

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PictureFrom my book, "The Power of Dadhood"
It’s always good to learn things from those with experience. And very wise to listen to them. However, the life lessons best remembered are those learned firsthand.
​
Let’s say your kid comes to you with a problem. It could be his sister is bothering him to no end. Or your daughter’s best friend is not talking to her. Maybe homework and dance class are competing for attention. Whatever it is, we often tell them what we think or tell them straight out what to do. Sometimes, we do this through expediency or lack of patience. It happens all the time. But what are we doing? It could be we are allowing our children to be lazy, dependent, or unable to problem solve.

When an issue is not too serious, you can trust them to do what they, themselves, think is right.

In raising kids, there are levels of interplay between you and them.
  • ‘Being there’ for them is a fundamental base level of care. You may not interact with them much at that level, but you are an adult example who protects and feeds them - although there are, unfortunately, parents that even fail at that level.
  • The next level is being loving and showing that you care for your child. Knowing they are loved does so much for their confidence and psyche, allowing them to be happier and content. While showing love and care is crucial, you can do so much more to prepare them for their life ahead.
  • The highest level I hope all parents aspire to is to be present, loving, and nurturing. Nurturing consists of encouraging, observing, correcting, and teaching - all while reminding them of your love. What kid wouldn’t thrive to the best of their abilities with this kind of upbringing?

When a nurturing parent tells a child to ‘do what’s right,’ that parent is not making it easier for either their child or themselves. Shifting responsibility to your child is high-level nurturing! Making your child think and decide while being observed by a loving parent is the best learning there can be. Indeed, there will be times when they choose incorrectly! That’s where your nurturing will help them to understand situations and decision-making.

The parent has to encourage them to be responsible, observe the child’s action, correct their action if necessary, and teach them with feedback. “You handled that very well,” or “Next time, try this.”

Example:

“Dad, my friends are going to a concert Sunday evening, and I want to go,” asked your 17-year-old daughter. 

“But you have your college placement test on Monday morning,” Dad responds.

“I know, but I really want to go,” she pleads.

“Just do what’s right!” says Dad.

The ball is in her court, for now. She has to consider what she wants versus what is best overall. An okay from Dad would have taken the pressure off his daughter. A ‘no’ may have caused unnecessary friction. Now the daughter has to decide, and problem solve. Can she put aside everything for now and prepare for the test? Will she get home early enough to get a good night’s sleep? As a parent, you observe. Did you see her studying long hours during the weekend? Did she tell you when the concert ends, and will she be home early enough to get a goodnight’s sleep? If so, she is doing the right thing even if she goes to the concert. And she did it maturely on her own!

Now, what if she wastes time all weekend, or you find out the concert ends at midnight, but she decides to go anyway? Then you intercede and say no, and tell her why. One of the reasons you would intervene this time and not others is the importance of the decision. But the good news is this. If you are the kind of parent that operates this way, you already know how your child will react after seventeen years. They already know how to think and make decisions for themselves. You have been there for her. You have shown love and care. And on top of all that, you have been a nurturer!

When given the responsibility for their own actions, a child that continually makes unwise choices may be a disappointment, but at least you know you have work to do. This knowledge will allow a parent to take action to correct the behavior. A child that makes primarily good choices will learn how to handle life on their own. They will not be dependent on their parents to solve their problems. Either outcome is positive because you will know your child much better, and they will thrive after learning to solve their issues correctly.
​
Tell them, “do what’s right” – observe – correct if necessary – repeat!

 
#powerofdadhood

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Fun Ways to Keep Your Kids Engaged and Learning at Home

3/9/2021

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PicturePexel.com photo


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​You can read more helpful articles on parenthood at Michael Byron Smith's Helping Fathers to Be Dads blog.
 
Helping your kids stay engaged and learning at home has always been important. But after the kind of year we all had, it’s never been so essential. Whether your children are participating in remote learning, attending school in-person full-time, or doing a hybrid of the two, it’s safe to say that things are different since the pandemic rolled into the picture. To help harried parents everywhere, Michael Byron Smith offers the following ideas on how you can keep your kids entertained and educated through indoor activities at home:
 
Turn to art.
 
One of the most fun and engaging ways for children to spend time is through art! Whether it’s crafting, painting, sewing, drawing or working with clay, give your children the opportunity to explore their creativity. You can even sign them up for online art classes so they can get some extra instruction or inspiration.
 
Decorate your home.
 
Decorating may not sound like the most fun thing for your children. But it’s a great way for them to strengthen their organizational skills. And if you involve them in the process of picking out decorations, they might find that it’s a great way to use their creativity. Whether it’s Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or general seasonal decorations, get with your kids to come up with a plan, and head online to find whatever you need. Then, set aside time on the weekend to put on some music and transform your home!
 
Make reading an hour a thing.
 
In an age when we are surrounded by technology, sometimes it can be refreshing to unplug and take time to read a book. Schedule reading time with your kids where everyone takes turns reading aloud. There’s no end to the different books out there for all ages, and reading is a fundamental activity for learning and development. If you want to add an incentive to reading, consider looking at reading tablets so they can have a wealth of books at hand.
 
Order some classic games.
 
Remember the classic games like Monopoly, Scrabble, Go Fish, and Uno? Board games and card games like these can provide hours of fun and education for your kids. For example, Monopoly (or Monopoly Junior) can teach your children math and money-management skills. Scrabble (or Scrabble Junior) can help your children develop a stronger vocabulary.
 
Moreover, card games like Go Fish and Uno are fun for teaching younger kids about numbers and patterns. You might have these games laying around the house, but if you don’t, you can order them from any number of online stores and have them shipped straight to your door.
 
Allow gaming.
 
Yes, that’s right—let your kids participate in online gaming. This doesn’t mean to allow unlimited screen time in your household. But in moderation, gaming can yield a variety of cognitive benefits for children, such as improved concentration, memory, coordination, and problem-solving skills. While gaming can provide your kids with a break from schoolwork and chores, certain games can even help them learn and strengthen their social skills. If you decide to let your children pick up online gaming, however, make sure you have an internet connection that’s up to the task.
 
Spend time building.
 
Building challenges are another great way for kids to learn while having fun. Legos come in a variety of forms, from standard sets to themed sets like Star Wars, Disney princesses, and Marvel. Some of the primary skills that can be sharpened through building challenges and free play include problem-solving, creativity, and fine motor skills. Furthermore, if you want to foster your kids’ patience, hand-eye coordination, and manual dexterity, set up a Jenga challenge.
 
If your family is spending more time in your home these days, it’s important to have some fun and educational activities that you and your children can engage in. Remember to try online gaming, decorate your home, and read books more often. Pull out the old board games and card games, and have your kids do a Lego and/or Jenga challenge from time to time. Just because your children’s school year looks a lot different than in years past doesn’t mean that they can’t keep learning in entertaining ways.

Appreciation to Lacie Martin of Raise Them Well for this article.
 


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Dadhood is Fatherhood...PLUS!

3/1/2021

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The Power of Dadhood - How to Become the Father Your Child Needs
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​Keeping Your Children Balanced from Unwelcomed Ideology

2/22/2021

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Picture
Photo of granddaughter by author
Your kids are malleable. They have their inborn dispositions towards life and living, but they certainly can be molded by people and ideas. Obviously, it’s the parents that have the most leverage guiding their children - as it should be. We may disagree with how other parents do their job, but as long as they are not cruel, evil, or unbearable, it’s not our place to judge. For instance, I would not raise my children as Mennonites do, but I certainly respect their customs and beliefs. I have no right to criticize.

In our busy lives, especially when our children are young and we struggle to support them appropriately, we leave our children to others to teach a myriad of things. For the most part, this all well and good! A variety of views and exposure to those with different strengths is an advantage. But it is essential to know what they are being taught when you, the parent, are not involved.

Our values vary regarding religion, customs, and politics at a minimum. When others meet your values, there are no issues. However, there will be those that your children come into contact that have differing values. You should be aware of those things to the degree you care, and you should certainly care.

To give examples, I use my values, not expecting anyone to agree with all or any of them. Many will not, and those folks would not want me passing my values to their children. Just remember the title and not my specific examples below.

  • Some schools and social sites are teaching that objectivity is racist – that everything is subjective. In other words, there are no facts, just opinions. Since I believe in both objectivity and subjectivity, I would want my children to know the difference, not that objectivity doesn’t exist except for racists. See if it is being taught to your kids, whether you agree or not.
  • Our federal government says it is fair and legal for a biological male who identifies as female to compete physically. I believe that it is unfair for biological females. I want to discuss my reasoning for my view with my children. If others validate this principle, I want to know this, or it may never occur to bring it up. Left alone, I would think the explanation is unnecessary
  • The Smithsonian had an exhibit that said Success Principles are White principles. Punctuality, hard work, initiative, Standard English, planning for the future were all White values. In fact, a Black child that studies would indicate that they wanted to be White. To be honest, I thought this was fake news, but it was real. Any Black parent that does not believe these Success Principles only belong to Whites must speak up
  • There are areas in the progressive community that say biology isn’t ‘real’? I don’t want that taught to my children or grandchildren.
  • Many schools are teaching the 1619 Project. Countless historians have noted this as having many inaccurate conclusions. It states that US history began in that year when slaves were brought to the future USA.  This project disavows our founding fathers, and 1776 as our nation’s birth, claiming the US was built because of and only for slavery. While slavery was sadly apart of US history, it ignores the fact that slavery was rampant everywhere since Biblical times. It also ignores the Constitution’s contributions and the fact that America has grown as a positive force for the world. I want to know if my children are taught 1619 history. You should, too, so you can judge for yourself and for your children.
  • I value any life. But I also appreciate what we have in the United States that makes so many others want to come here. To do immigration the best way for all, including past immigrants, we must do it in an organized manner. Organization and control will not exist with open borders. And it can be made worse by promising things to potential immigrants who don’t want to go through a legal process. That’s my view. I want my children to know my opinion because others will tell them their logic. I do like them also to know that legal immigration will make America stronger!
  • A professor has designed a litmus test for eight degrees of White Privilege. I don’t want anyone to be a racist, but to categorize Whites in degrees blames all. And anyone who is Black cannot be a racist because you have to have ‘privilege’ to be racists. I believe this is more divisive than inclusive. While true White Supremacists exist, the term has exploded to include people who don’t actively fight for people of color. While I support people of color in all endeavors, I do not carry signs and protest in person. But some would say I’m racist because fighting it is not on my daily agenda.  If you want this taught to your children or not, be aware it is out there.
  • I don’t want my children or grandchildren to think Lincoln and many others were bad for America. When children see their statues torn down or schools renamed, it teaches them that their contributions should not be appreciated. I would not let my children go to a school that took Lincoln’s name off the building. If there is a legitimate grievance about his legacy, include it with the wonderful deeds he accomplished, like ending slavery. Kids cannot fathom the circumstances these demeaned men and women (see Dianne Feinstein) worked within.
  • Equity is not the same as equality, but even our Federal government is teaching this. Everyone should have equal rights, access, and opportunity. But equity means the same outcome for all. There are situations in health and disabilities, for instance, where we strive for equity. But there should not be equity (equal outcome) for grades, sports, or any true and fair competition. I want my children to understand this and the differences.
  • I believe in the strength of the nuclear family. Others do not. Disney has dropped Kermit the Frog for crimes against certain groups - really? Some think having to show your work in Math is racist. Why? Lucky guesses or cheating will not get children anywhere. Seattle schools teach that treating everyone the same is racist. Maybe there are reasons not to treat everyone the same. I don’t treat my kids the same because they are different. But when you do treat people the same, I don’t believe racism is usually involved.

I want teachers to teach my kids HOW to think, not WHAT to think. Is that too much to ask? If you’re going to be involved in your children's education and lifestyle choices, then be knowledgeable of their reading and social media, know their friends, and understand what is being taught in their school - from preschool to college. They will eventually make up their own minds as they should. However, you have a right as a parent to let them know your views and agree or disagree with the others who impact their lives. Remember the title, even if you disagree with my values.


#powerofdadhood
Please consider my book, The Power of Dadhood
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​Children are Much Like Clouds

2/15/2021

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Picture

Helping families and fathers is a passion of mine since I retired. For escape, I love photography. My favorite  subjects are kids and nature, - particularly clouds. I find many similarities between the two. For instance, they have to be noticed to be appreciated. They both change at a moments notice. Look away and you will be amazed

Clouds collaborate with the sun to paint the sky in ways that can astonish and captivate. A parent can be the sun for their child, turning what could be an ordinary puff of a child into a bold sunrise anxious to impress.

If you study them, you can see things in clouds that you didn’t know were there, like a bunny, or an angel, or a bulldozer. Similarly, if you watch your children closely, you will see things in them you didn’t know were there. You may find talents or passions to be encouraged, or fears and troubles to be eased.

Of course, kids can rain on you! Sometimes rain is annoying but it can also be refreshing. Enjoy the rain when you can. It’s just part of the cycle. For in every life, a little rain must fall. Without it, your kids will not grow.

Let the clouds be your reminder, a reminder of your children. Look at them. Watch them change. Know there will be dark times and bright times. Help your children to become the best they can be by knowing them well. Expect the bright days, the gloom, the shadows and the rain. Do this and react accordingly and, ironically, most of your days will be filled with sunshine!

Following is the video, “My Clouds” that inspired these thoughts. It features Zach Sobiech singing his song “Clouds”.​


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​23 Things Your Kids Deserve to be Told

2/8/2021

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PicturePhoto by author: Solar Eclipse of August 21st, 2017 in Augusta, Missouri

Every kid is different. You can’t treat them all the same because of that fact. But there are things every kid deserves to learn, no matter their sex, temperament, IQ, or personality. The reason they deserve it is because it will help them to be mentally healthier and more successful. But without your support, they will be lost or dispirited. Remember, they are more likely to do as you do, than to do as you say. It is a team effort.
  1. Let them know you are there for them, always!
  2. Being there for them does not mean supporting their mistakes.
  3. Have them know two important words, gratitude and humility.
  4. Let them know you mean what you say - and say what you mean.
  5. They will need to stand on their own two feet before they can rest on their laurels.
  6. Patience will take them further than excitement.
  7. Try like hell, then wait - without a care - for results. They already did their part.
  8. Listen to others, but think for themselves.
  9. Effort is the quickest way to make a parent smile.
  10. Even good excuses will make you weaker.
  11. Fear is natural, it keeps you alert and safe.
  12. Don’t have babies until you are out of your teens and have a good job.
  13. Success without effort is as shallow as a kiddie pool.
  14. Let go of things they can’t control. Control the things they can.
  15. No one is good at everything; and everyone has failures.
  16. Money will never solve their real problems, and may even cause some.
  17. Being respected is what your parents want most for you.
  18. They won’t always get what they want, even if they deserve it.
  19. It’s not all about them.
  20. There is no shame in not knowing something. Be up front.
  21. Show interest in others and they’ll show interest in you.
  22. The good news is, no one really pays that much attention to you. So go for it! Or get over it!
  23. Life is not fair.
Which of these caught your attention? Likely, it will be a thought you may not have considered. Think these over in relation to your children. See where you can help them. They need you!
​
Michael B. Smith
Author of “The Power of Dadhood”

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The Nuclear Family – For Children, It’s ‘Best for Most’

2/1/2021

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PicturePhoto by author
There are many anti-family forces in our society. Even the heavily supported (by many progressives and even many high tech companies) BLM organization does not support the nuclear family.

I’ll narrow in on an article in The Atlantic written by David Brooks. “The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake,” he wrote, “The family structure we’ve held up as the cultural ideal for the past half-century has been a catastrophe for many. It’s time to figure out better ways to live together.”

This article is long and well researched, but with conclusions that confuse me. I’ll mention a few.

First of all:

Per Brooks. “The shift from bigger and interconnected extended families to smaller and detached nuclear families ultimately led to a familial system that liberates the rich and ravages the working-class and the poor.”
The assumption is that you don’t have to lean on the extended family as much if you are successful, and you won’t connect. While this may be true, he suggests it ties people through need, not love. Furthermore, the extended families of poor people are usually poor themselves, without the means to help. I find my extended family wants my involvement. All I have to do is show love and interest.

Brooks states, “Among the highly educated, family patterns are almost as stable as they were in the 1950s; among the less fortunate, family life is often utter chaos. There’s a reason for that divide: Affluent people have the resources to effectively buy extended family, in order to shore themselves up.”

DUH! The problem lies in the fact that coming from a chaotic family creates more chaotic families that continue to struggle. It requires a child of “less fortunate” families to take matters into their own hands to break free from the struggle. They often have to do it independently because their extended family will not be capable of helping or cheering them on - because they are chaotic. Is it difficult for a child from a poor, chaotic family to break free? No! It’s not difficult to do; it’s just difficult to realize when in that environment!

The Brookings Institute found that these three simple rules will help one avoid poverty:
  1. Graduating from high school.
  2. Waiting to get married until after 21 and do not have children till after being married.
  3. Having a full-time job.

If you do all those three things, your chance of falling into poverty is just 2 percent. Meanwhile, you’ll have a 74 percent chance of being in the middle class, becoming one of the more affluent families. You will create a ‘breakaway from poverty family,’ and your children will have the advantages other affluent families enjoy, therefore helping to grow a more self-sufficient society. Brooks, to me, is a ‘chicken or the egg’ argument. What comes first, affluence, then success, or success, then affluence? Wealth can bring success with its advantages. But success from good ideas like the three steps above can bring wealth. Being highly educated is undoubtedly advantageous for success, but not being stupid (or remaining ignorant) is an even more significant advantage.

Secondly:

Nuclear families are successful, “so long as women are relegated to the household.”
I live next to a large neighborhood where both of my daughters also reside. This neighborhood is full of nuclear families where both parents work while others choose to have one parent stay home with their younger children. I know many of these families through my daughters, and they seem to thrive. Yes, they are relatively but not significantly affluent, but these mothers are not relegated to the household. Of course, there are challenges. Women should not be ‘relegated’ to motherhood if that’s what you call it (I don’t). Neither should motherhood be belittled. Maybe the father stays home as many more do these days. Maybe neighbors and relatives help with the children, or one or both parents work part-time. Allowing your younger children to learn socialization skills in pre-school is also helpful, allowing parents time for other activities. Neither mom nor dad nor child can have everything they want at once.

Having a well-balanced family requires sacrifices, just like any other endeavor. Maybe your dreams of travel, writing a novel, or big promotions may have to wait. To do so means you have found that raising human beings as successful people is just as important and impressive as becoming CFO or ‘employee of the month,’ assuming you have that talent in the first place - because not everyone does. Are you crying about not being able to chase your dreams? Then don’t have children. If you already have them, be patient; they will only take up 20-30% of your life - and they deserve being a priority. Parents can work it out by balancing, not pouting.

Lastly:

“For many people, the era of the nuclear family has been a catastrophe. All forms of inequality are cruel, but family inequality may be the cruelest. It damages the heart.”

This statement may be true, but do we want to throw the baby out with the bathwater? Do we want to eliminate the nuclear family, so dysfunctional families don’t have to feel bad for themselves? We would love equal and fair outcomes for all, but life is not fair, not all people work as hard as others, and bad luck can come to any of us.

It was difficult and maybe cruel for my siblings and me to be raised in a dysfunctional family as we were. However, most of us now have functional families of our own—those who don’t are not blaming anyone outside of the family. Certainly, none of us blamed successful families for the deeds we performed, causing distress within our own family.

Summary:
​
There are many more conclusions in the Brooks article with which I beg to differ. When it comes down to it, it depends on what lens you choose to view these issues that ultimately drive your conclusions. But beyond my thoughts and biases is common sense. While not possible for all, is not a nuclear family the best way for most children to thrive? The ‘best’ for ‘most’? Not the best for all, or the worst for some, but the ‘best for most’? I don’t consider that opinion. I consider it self-evident

​#powerofdadhood


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Getting Your Kids Outside to Beat Nature-Deficit Disorder

1/25/2021

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PicturePhoto by Pixabay









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Does your family spend more time indoors than out? You’re not alone, but that doesn’t mean you are destined to suffer from nature-deficit disorder. In fact, there are many ways to encourage your kids—and your spouse—to get outside and start enjoying nature.

Find Ways for the Whole Family to Get Outdoors Together

30 Unorganized Sports You Should Teach Your Kid This Summer
10 Fun Ways to Turn Your Backyard into a Water Park
38 Outdoor Games to Make with the Family This Summer
Family Nature Walk Tips and Activities

Make Spending Time Outside Fun and Engaging

14 Ideas for a Kid-Friendly Backyard Play Area
50 Outdoor Easy Science Experiments for Kids
7 Fun Driveway and Sidewalk Games for Kids
How to Safely Observe Wildlife from Your Home
Learn More About the Nature That’s Around You

Teaching My Child How to Garden – Getting Started
6 Ways to Make Astronomy Fun for Kids
Helpful Hints for Successful Bird Watching with Kids

Encouraging the entire family to spend more time in nature doesn’t have to feel like a chore. By trying some of these engaging and immersive outdoors ideas, your family can beat nature-deficit disorder. And you might be surprised how quickly they acclimate when spending outside becomes fun family time.

This article is compliments of Lacie Martin <[email protected]> 

​#powerofdadhood

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Lessons from 'The Cat's in the Cradle'

1/18/2021

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PictureHarry Chapin, stock photo
The following was a Facebook post submitted by a friend of mine just last week. He was born in Taipei, Taiwan in 1948, came to the USA in 1971 after finishing college and serving one year military duty.  He and his wife moved to Shanghai permanently in year 2000 after 30 years in the US, retiring to Taiwan in 2016. A very successful engineering entrepreneur, his highest honor is raising his two sons and daughter, all very successful. He now has 5 grandchildren and even with an ocean between them, they remain very close!

​His post struck me, so I asked permission to share it on my blog, 'Helping Fathers to be Dads'... because his post was perfectly about that topic!

Thank you James Yeh! An awesome Dad!


January 13th, 2021
​James Yeh

N
ever heard of this song (released in 1974) until much later introduced by a good friend. Never understood the connection between the song title and its lyrics. And Chapin even said “Frankly, this song scared me to death.”

We started going to our children’s home games when they played soccer, basketball, then baseball and football, plus concerts and recitals. Soon we went to all their away games too, and I volunteered to be their team videographer.
​

When our children graduated from college, got married and moved away, we stayed in touch thanks to all the social media. When we were in China and Taiwan, they always found time to visit us, and came back to join us in celebrating grandparents’ big birthdays and attending funeral services.

Spend time with your children when they were young, and they will spend time with you when you get old! (Emphasis added). There’s so much truth to this song, and it’s not scary at all.


The Cat's in the Cradle​
Harry Chapin

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad, you know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon

When you coming home dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball dad, come on let's play, can you teach me to throw?"
I said "Not today, I got a lot to do", he said "That's okay"

And he, he walked away but his smile never dimmed and said
"I'm gonna be like him, yeah, you know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man, I just had to say
"Son I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile

"What I'd really like dad, is to borrow the car keys"
"See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon

When you coming home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time"

"You see, my new job's a hassle and the kid's got the flu"
"But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad
We're gonna have a good time then

​Songwriters: S. Chapin, H. Chapin

Please check out my book, "The Power of Dadhood"
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