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And the Rooster Crowed

8/28/2017

Full eclipse, Bailey's Beads, Diamond Ring - photos by Michael Byron Smith

Solar Eclipse Viewing Party

My last post was an appeal to not miss the total eclipse if at all possible, especially if you had children or grandchildren with whom to experience it. I hope you had the opportunity and enjoyed it.

We own a farmhouse about 40 miles west of St. Louis, right in the path of the August 21st, 2017 Total Eclipse. Family and a few friends gathered hoping against hope that clouds would stay away. If so, we had a perfect location to witness what is generally considered a once-in-a-lifetime event.

My son-in-law, Mike, is a fanatic about all things scientific. I think he is a literal genius who will always have an answer to any question I ask whether it is biology, botany, astronomy, plumbing, – you name it! To Mike, this was the Super Bowl, World Series, and World Cup wrapped up in two celestial objects. As I suggested in my previous post (although he would have done it anyway), Mike took his oldest daughter out of school to watch, learn, and bond as a family – to share something very unique. To the chagrin of his two daughters, who wanted to stay with the rest of the family, he was ready to jump in the car the first sign clouds may be a problem and use his weather app to find clear skies. Fortunately, the clouds cooperated and they all enjoyed it with the rest of us.

My son, Michael, operated a drone during the full eclipse, concentrating on the horizon and the earth and not the moon covering the sun. My daughter, April, passed out Oreo eclipse cookies as the moment approached as my other daughter, Rachel, took photos of everyone looking skyward with their ISO certified eclipse glasses.

Being an amateur photographer, I had my tripod set up to capture the event on my DSLR memory card. I avoided photographing the partial eclipse - not having a proper filter - to concentrate on the aura of the full eclipse and possibly catch ‘Bailey’s beads’ and the ‘diamond ring’.

The kids were fascinated with the half-moon shadows using colanders or shoe box viewers. But, of course, only our eight-year-old granddaughter knew what was going on. Nevertheless, the younger three had fun, like our three-year-old granddaughter wanting to be pushed on the swing with only five minutes to go to a total eclipse, or our four-year-old grandson looking to ride his toy motorized tractor. Then the sun disappeared and instead of getting quiet, voices were shouting “wow”, “this is incredible”, “amazing”, “awesome”, “ooh”, “ahhh”!

While the eclipse was truly amazing, here’s what didn’t happen. We missed the shadow bands or they didn’t happen. It was eerily dark, but not as dark as expected. And because it was a very humid day, the dip in the temperature was noticeable, but not the 10-15 degree dip we were expecting. However, the view in the sky was spectacular, the timing exact to the split second, and a realization of the power and vastness of the universe was real! Nature is not always predictable, but when it involves celestial objects, there is nothing more dependable. Nothing! Rachel remarked it was 100 times more awesome than she thought it would be.

Later, when viewing the drone video of the eclipse, we saw a car ambling down the road during the peak of the total eclipse. I wondered, why would they be driving at this moment? Where were they going? Surely, they heard about the eclipse. Did they forget about it? Were they freaking out if they were unaware? If it was an emergency, they were not in a hurry. But for whatever reason they were driving, the fact that their headlights came on at 1:16 PM CST on an otherwise very sunny day was a defining point in the video. Because being in a sparsely populated area without many lights, that car’s headlights symbolized the eclipse had taken over – for two minutes and eight seconds in Augusta, MO. Nature’s cycle was on schedule as it always is. But the celestial cycle we on earth are so used to, even the animals, was chillingly interrupted.

The drone’s camera adjusted for the dimmer lighting but those headlights told the story. In the middle of the day, those headlights shone and the neighbor’s rooster crowed. A neighbor’s rooster that may have been confused, but who did what roosters are supposed to do when the light breaks. It was quite something! The sights and sounds of a total eclipse; and the making of forever memories fused from one fleeting moment!

Really something to crow about!

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Dads, Moms, Read This Before It’s Too Late! (RE: ECLIPSE!)

8/18/2017

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Monday, August 21, 2017 a full eclipse will travel the United States from the Northwest to the Southeast. From all the accounts I have read, this experience can be life changing! If you are within driving distance of this 100-mile band of the total eclipse, pack your car, take the kids out of school, bring you solar eye-glasses and head for a location where special memories can be made.

This is not like the kind of memories you create from a vacation, or from reading books to your kids, or going away from the city as a family and looking at the Milky Way. While those are wonderful things to do together, they lack two important factors.

1) You will likely NEVER have an opportunity like this in your lifetime, not even theirs! You can’t plan it. You can’t create it. You can’t explain it, meaning an explanation cannot match the experience.

2) The experience itself is far more significant than almost any other event you will experience as a family, outside of marriage or a birth.

Don’t even think of going to work and letting your kids go to school. To think you will go outside, check it out, then go back to work is belittling the event. This is the power of the universe being exposed to you in a way that you are not accustomed. To allow your kids to have memories of it with classmates instead of with loved ones is really unconscionable to me. What lesson will they learn that will not be better taught through you?

Some things to look for:

The shadow of the moon racing in at 1600 mph.
A 360-degree sunset (as if the sun had set 30 minutes prior) during the full eclipse.
Just before and just after the full eclipse could be wavy shadows called shadow bands on the ground (use a white sheet to see). Or beads may appear around the edges of the moon caused by the moon’s mountains.
It will get dark, dark as the night of a full moon, enabling you to see Venus. And cooler, maybe 10 – 15 degrees cooler during the total eclipse.
Animals may act strangely, thinking night time has come way too fast.

If you are already in or very near ‘the path of totality’, don’t tell me your job requires you to be there unless you are with Public Safety or an Obstetrician. If you don’t really care about this event, then I question either your knowledge of it, or wonder about your sense of values or being alive.

In Summary

Chances to see a historic natural occurrence are rare! Opportunities to create unforgettable memories with family, especially children, are precious. Kids will remember how their parents reacted to do whatever it took for them all their children to see something special!

Do it! And protect your eyes and your children’s eyes. See videos below!!

Mike Smith
“Helping Fathers to be Dads”

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The Most Precious Thing in the World

8/14/2017

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What is the most precious thing in the world? To be more specific, what is the most precious thing in the world to you? Think about it and many things may run through your mind. But what is it that keeps running laps in your head, coming back over and over with every other precious thing you can recall?

There are so many precious gifts we wish for, such as peace on earth or peace of mind. But most of what we truly need, we already have. Is time the most precious thing? If so, why do we waste so much of it? Is air the most precious thing? It doesn’t seem so in India, or China where they often have to wear masks to breathe safely. Is water the most precious thing? It may be in Ethiopia or the Sahara, but where it is plentiful, we take it for granted. Food is certainly precious, but only recognized as so by those that have little of it.

Is your life the most precious thing? If so, why do we squander so much of it? Rest, vacations, meditation, hobbies? No, these are good things. By squander, I mean to live without a purpose, a plan, or a goal.

How about health? That surely is a precious thing to have! There are a few people that work very hard to exercise and eat right. On the other hand, advanced societies are becoming more obese every year. Clearly, health may be precious, but using time in other ways than exercise is common, and eating what we like is often favored over eating what is good for us.

Other precious things include gratitude, learning, creating, religion, freedom, or love.

Maybe we can measure what is precious by what we spend the most of our time doing. If you work sixty hours a week is that because you like your job, want more money versus time at home, or are just surviving? It could be any of these or all three. Let’s then say what you do in your free, or discretionary, time will give us an idea of what is precious. But time in itself won’t do this because two hours of reading may be more precious than three hours required of gardening,

By this time, I’m wondering how many of you have a precious thing still running in your mind that I have yet to mention. No, I’m not guessing money. Money can be precious, but money is nothing but a tool, a symbol. Money can’t buy some of the most precious things in the world. Money can actually allow you to forget the more precious things in your life by making them more accessible, but not less important. Maybe love comes close, which I mentioned in passing, because you can’t buy love, not real love.

My Thoughts

I’ll tell you what I think is the most precious thing in the world. It encompasses gratitude, love, learning, and creativity. I pray for health, time, peace, money and freedom for this precious thing of mine. It’s family!

Families are not always harmonious, especially within. Personalities and jealousies can cause flare up. But when the chips are down, families will most likely count on each other before anyone else. If not, there is a serious breakdown in that family. One of the most important responsibilities of parents is to teach their children to realize just how precious they are to each other. When parents not only realize their duties, but commit to them in a dedicated manner, their children have one of the most precious gifts they could ever receive.

When one has the precious gift of family, all the other precious things in life are much easier to achieve. Families are, or should be, the core teacher of values such as dependability, loyalty, and trust. A person of values is a valuable commodity in themselves bringing self-worth, confidence, and happiness. A family also has traditions that bring each member a feeling of belonging and joy.

Discounting certain mental health issues, independent of family situations, it would be difficult to imagine a child of an encouraging, harmonious family not having success in life and a plenitude of precious things to enjoy and love. But, you may say, if it were that easy, why is there so much turmoil, violence, grief and sadness? We hear about and/or witness it every day! A consideration is the over exposure of these terrible things on all media compared to everyday life. On the other hand, much sadness is under-reported because it is not sensational enough for someone to profit from reporting it. I think there is something else to consider.

A Family Crisis

There is a family crisis in America! It is clear to me that when social disorder exists, it is primarily caused by the existence of dysfunctional families. Oftentimes, offspring from a dysfunctional family create more dysfunctional families and they grow like a pyramid scheme. There is little likelihood these offspring will aggressively look outside what they know to improve their skills as parents. I wrote a book to help fathers to be real dads. Sadly, fathers who could use these discussions to help them be a better parent are very unlikely to read it!

What we know is*:

85% of children with behavioral disorders are from fatherless homes,
24 million (34%) children live without their biological father
Children from fatherless homes are:
- Seven times more likely to drop out of high school
- Eleven times more likely to commit rape
- Seven times more likely to become a teenage mother
- Fifteen times more likely to end up in prison as a teenager

These are just a few of the shocking statistics.

What to do?

My hope is for a wave of family consciousness to sweep the country making it difficult for anyone to escape the discussion of family and family values. This would require more segments on family relations to replace the glut of cooking segments on TV. It would take news programs to shine a light on the real reasons that crime is taking place. It would require social media to emphasize family issues and programs even though celebrity gossip and sensationalism pay most of their bills. It would take schools spending more time on what makes a family work, and yes, fill-in teaching values when families are not doing it within. And, finally, it would take our government entities to not make laws which can incentivize families to not stay together. When US government helps single parent families more than two parent families, it can alter how families react. The answer is to help families, in general, to be precious to and for each other.

Summary

We have an issue when families don’t work because it spills out into society. If we never get to that root issue, we will always have excessive societal problems. And most dysfunctional or stressed families lack a father in the home! Yes, families are very precious things.

* From “The Power of Dadhood: Become the Father Your Child Needs”

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Consuetudes - and the Nuclear Family

8/7/2017

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consuetude
(kon-swi-tood)
1. custom, especially as having legal force.

How we think about things changes over the decades. Customs change as cultures evolve and/or mix together. Often, these changes do not occur without a great deal of pain on each side. Different points of view are understandable and there is not always a clear right or wrong, at least in the beginning.

My wife and I recently watched the movie entitled, “Loving”. It was the story of a bi-racial couple from Virginia who married in 1958. But such a marriage was illegal in Virginia and they were forced by the state to move out of Virginia or be sent to prison for a year. They moved to Washington D.C. but eventually their case went to the US Supreme Court. In 1967, the Virginia law was overturned. (Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967) is a landmark civil rights decision of the United States Supreme Court, which invalidated laws prohibiting interracial marriage.) Virginia’s law was no longer a consuetude.

I freely admit that as a child, born in 1950, it did not seem right to me to see a mixed race couple together. No one really told me it was wrong, but the attitudes of the day were unmistakable, and surely it was an uncommon sight. Truly, in my young mind, it had nothing to do with any thought of Blacks being unworthy. Simply, it didn’t seem normal to look outside your own race for love. Years and maturity changed my view. Certainly, in 1967 I felt differently about this social meme and I agreed with the Supreme Court decision. But it took a few years to understand and accept it.

I imagine before 1920 some people, especially men, thought it insane to give women the right to vote. By the 1950’s it was crazy not to do so. But for centuries before and after the biblical days, it was not common for women to have any kind of power compared to men. This consuetude was strong! It might not have been fair, but life does not guarantee fairness. People were told that they had to change how they, and most people throughout history, had thought – and it wasn’t easy. But it was certainly the right thing to do!

More recently, we have seen changes in the law that allow people of the same sex to marry. I’m sure in years to come - few, outside of those following certain religions, will think twice about a same-sex couple marrying. But to look down upon those who have disagreed does not allow deference to their religious beliefs or social experiences - especially given the newness of this change in social norms. Social changes continue mostly with LGBTQIA rights, which are hot-button topics in our society today.

The Nuclear Family

Why do I bring this all up? There is one social norm that is eroding that I will stand by until I am no longer on this earth. That social norm is the nuclear family, a family consisting of two parents and their children. Some give alternate definitions to include families with same sex parents, but I don’t agree. Not because I disapprove of the arrangement, but because it just isn’t so.

I think families come in many combinations, and any group of people that properly raise children are wonderful families! But here is the problem as I see it. Most non-nuclear families are missing a key factor – a dad!

Here are two passages from my book, “The Power of Dadhood”:

“To read examples of an American trend toward the “accepted absent father,” see David Blankenhorn’s chapter, “The Unnecessary Father,” in his book, Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. Fatherless America details how the social role of fathers has been diminished and devalued.

Blankenhorn writes:

According to many experts, some mothers, and certain aspects of society, fathers are unnecessary. A father’s presence is appreciated but not required in a family. His role is overemphasized while the role of other adults is underemphasized. He is easily replaced by other male role models. . . .

Experts speak of having one or both parents present as making little difference in the socialization of children. They say that there are positives to being a single parent. That children don’t need a father to develop normally. That fathers are superfluous. . . .
One expert states we should rid studies of the “nuclear family bias” because family structure in and of itself has little to do with the development of children. Some mothers don’t want the men who are their children’s father getting in the way. They like having better control of their children without having another parent (third party) involved.

Like Blankenhorn, I am disappointed to see that some of these “experts” hold such a narrow view of the value of fatherhood.”

And…

“Prime time television explores social mores of the day. Murphy Brown was a TV series that broke many barriers in the late 1980s and 90s. One portion of the series’s progression was championing a woman choosing to have and raise a baby on her own. While giving pride and hope to single mothers—a good thing—another consequence was placing a tacit stamp of approval on a fatherless upbringing.

For nine seasons from 1996 to 2005, Everybody Loves Raymond portrayed Raymond as a good guy, but also as a selfish man who was rarely involved in the lives of his children—a father present but often unengaged.

Today, one of the most popular TV shows is Two and a Half Men. This show does portray a present father, to be sure. But the many social situations involved in the show don’t make it easy for Alan to continually show his son, Jake, the best models of manhood.

Other TV fathers throughout the years have simply been portrayed as bumbling idiots—think of Homer Simpson. But take heart; bumbling idiots can still be effective fathers. They just have to be loving and involved.”

My message

I encourage any family, no matter their makeup, to do what is necessary to help their children thrive! And most do. But my message here is to not allow the nuclear family to, 1) be minimized by those who don’t endorse it, 2) be diminished by training us to easily accept otherwise or, 3) be forgotten - by working tirelessly to inspire nuclear families to be successful.

Both boys and girls need both a father, (strong father figure) and a mother (strong mother figure). Again from my book:

“Boys need their dads to be examples of not only how to be men, but how to properly treat women. They need to know when to stand their ground and when to let things go. Dads need to teach boys how to throw a baseball. I can almost always tell when a boy has never played catch with his father. I can’t recall ever playing catch with mine. I’m now a grandfather and still wish I had that experience.
Dads need to be there to answer the questions boys don’t want to ask their mothers. And when they themselves become dads, they will look back on how they were raised for answers. Don’t let their conclusions regarding fatherhood be the wrong ones. Real heroes do not wear capes, nor do they necessarily run fast or shoot straight. Real superheroes are nurturing people who take personal and family responsibility head on.”

And for girls…

“A father is the first man in her life. He is the first man she tries to impress, and she never stops trying. All men are compared to you. You may rarely understand her, and she may rarely understand you, but there are critical moments in your relationship that will help her self-image, her delicate psyche, and her self-respect. Be there for her. She learns confidence and self-esteem from the way you interact with and treat her.”

Summary

Not all families can be nuclear families. Nor or all nuclear families better than other types of families. But with more nuclear families, there will be less poverty, less crime, more educated children, less mental issues, and happier people in general. The data is irrefutable! Just google, “fatherless children statistics” yourself.

A family is the smallest social unit in the world. But he sum of all those small social units determine the success of any society. The most successful family unit is the nuclear family. Let’s get behind any movement that will make them more plentiful.

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​And the Rooster Crowed

​Dads, Moms, Read This Before It’s Too Late! (RE: ECLIPSE!)

The Most Precious Thing in the World

Consuetudes - and the Nuclear Family

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And the Rooster Crowed

Dads, Moms, Read This Before It’s Too Late! (RE: ECLIPSE!)