Wouldn’t it be reasonable to think about this philosophy when raising children? If you are broken, uneducated, in poor health, unenthusiastic about life etc. how can you be helpful to someone else? It’s clear that you can’t. What a disadvantage to your children to overcome. Yes, some will overcome your inability to help in a positive way but you will not be a part of their success. Much more likely is the fact your children will not meet their God-given potential.
If not motivated by self-improvement for your own good, then having kids should give you the enthusiasm to grow personally if for no other reason than to help your loved ones. After food and shelter, what children need from a parent is love and mentoring.
A mother and/or father will be the most influential person in a child’s life. The influence, however, can be good or bad! A negative influencer is a cancer to the growth of a child. A positive influencer is a mentor looking to give one a positive start towards achievement. We all have dreams and goals, but until we make a move to act on them, they will always remain just a dream or a goal.
There are quite a few “seat-of-the-pants” parents in the world. Nothing necessarily wrong with this, if the parents have good instincts and have had good parents themselves. However, every parent can learn and develop with targeted self-improvement. Every parent should!
How to start!
A relationship evaluation:
For fathers specifically and mothers too, I refer to Appendix B, “A Dad’s Self-Inspection Checklist” from my book, “The Power of Dadhood”. This checklist focuses on a parent’s interpersonal relationships with his children and family. Every question in this checklist is covered in the book.
A personal evaluation:
Here are core values from which you may wish to evaluate yourself. Unless you are delusional, you are the best judge of your values, i.e. which are strengths and which are weaknesses.
- The values you consider strengths should be passed on to your children. Often, this is as simple as demonstrating them to your children in everyday life.
- The values you consider weaknesses are to be filed in your subconscious to hopefully improve upon, and/or to consciously avoid passing on to your children. If you are not physically fit but your spouse is, compliment him or her in front of your children. If you are always late or not dependable, make sure you make it clear to your kids it is a bad habit to get into, and you’re working to change. Below is a list of some core values to consider.
A parent is the most influential person in their child’s life. This is true whether you are involved in their daily lives or not. If you care about their growth, you will do your best to be a positive influence. You can be a wonderful influence just by being aware of your vital role and the positives and negatives you bring into their lives.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Core Values (pick 4 you are good at, then 4 you may need to improve)
- Spirit of adventure
- Service to others
- Hard Working
- Good humor