What is the greatest reward a man, who is also a father, can ever hope to receive? Well, I have my thoughts on that, and I will share them. But first, I have written a book and about 400 blog articles on parenting in the past eight years, most of which concern a father’s role. That doesn’t imply I’m an expert on the topic, but I do study and give it a lot of thought. What I do claim to be is a provocateur meaning I like to bring up thoughts on parenting allowing people give them more attention than they otherwise may have. My opinions are mine. I only hope for the reader to have a discussion in their head, with a co-parent, or someone else, about what I said. Parents should raise their children with purposeful and intelligent intent.
Parenting is not easy! It is such an enormous responsibility, yet you only have so much control. Most of that control comes in the first three years of your child’s life, falling off slowly, then very quickly. That's truly a good thing. It's a transition of power where the need for protection lessens and the need for growth and self empowerment for your child grows. It must take place. But that doesn’t mean you stop being a mom or dad. It does mean you have to be smart about what you say and do to be effective. The best way to be an intelligent parent is to listen, read, and have a good plan, for when you do so and follow it well, the rewards are incredible!
I asked a few dads with whom I have become familiar, to pass on to me some things their children have written to them on their birthdays, Father’s Day, or any day - particularly their older children. I like to share a few of these genuine and loving passages and imagine how these fathers may have reacted. I admit I shed a few tears reading them.
Parenting is not easy! It is such an enormous responsibility, yet you only have so much control. Most of that control comes in the first three years of your child’s life, falling off slowly, then very quickly. That's truly a good thing. It's a transition of power where the need for protection lessens and the need for growth and self empowerment for your child grows. It must take place. But that doesn’t mean you stop being a mom or dad. It does mean you have to be smart about what you say and do to be effective. The best way to be an intelligent parent is to listen, read, and have a good plan, for when you do so and follow it well, the rewards are incredible!
I asked a few dads with whom I have become familiar, to pass on to me some things their children have written to them on their birthdays, Father’s Day, or any day - particularly their older children. I like to share a few of these genuine and loving passages and imagine how these fathers may have reacted. I admit I shed a few tears reading them.
“Dad, what haven’t you taught me? How to throw a baseball, how to drive a car, or even how to mow the lawn. Most importantly, I learned things just by watching you. Things like how to treat people, what is important in life, and never give up.”
“Oh Papa, I adore everything about you!”
“Dad, you have taught me what it is like to be loved unconditionally! I can see that you love me through and through.”
“Dad, I remember us building snowmen together, coloring at my very own little table, our first trip to the zoo together, our walks and car rides!”
“I remember just spending time together – snuggling, reading, walking around the house in circles, playing with toys. My wish for myself is to always have lots of adventures, dates, and moments together. We make quite a team, don’t we?!”
“What I admire about you is your calm demeanor, your patience, your constant support, your modesty, your success, the father that you are!”
“Dad, here are some things you have taught me.
“Dad, I remember I was washing the dishes after dinner – all of the sudden the music got louder – much louder. You pulled me from the sink, wet hands and all, and danced with me in the kitchen!”
“As a dad…you are such a steady, calm, loving presence in my life. You are always there when I need you. Always - for big things or when I just need a hug. Talking to you makes me feel better – loved, heard, understood, and valued.”
“You forgive my mistakes and perfections, and you celebrate my strengths. You don’t expect me to be perfect (even if I tend to expect that in myself). You are the best listener I know, and that has been a constant source of support my whole life.”
“The older I get, the more I realize how rare it is for women to have strong, open, real relationships with their dads. I don’t take for granted our time together. I love hanging out with you, and I think the feeling is mutual."
“Oh Papa, I adore everything about you!”
“Dad, you have taught me what it is like to be loved unconditionally! I can see that you love me through and through.”
“Dad, I remember us building snowmen together, coloring at my very own little table, our first trip to the zoo together, our walks and car rides!”
“I remember just spending time together – snuggling, reading, walking around the house in circles, playing with toys. My wish for myself is to always have lots of adventures, dates, and moments together. We make quite a team, don’t we?!”
“What I admire about you is your calm demeanor, your patience, your constant support, your modesty, your success, the father that you are!”
“Dad, here are some things you have taught me.
- How to change my perspective and view the big picture
- How to appreciate the beauty of things
- That worry is wasted energy
- What it feels like to be loved unconditionally”
“Dad, I remember I was washing the dishes after dinner – all of the sudden the music got louder – much louder. You pulled me from the sink, wet hands and all, and danced with me in the kitchen!”
“As a dad…you are such a steady, calm, loving presence in my life. You are always there when I need you. Always - for big things or when I just need a hug. Talking to you makes me feel better – loved, heard, understood, and valued.”
“You forgive my mistakes and perfections, and you celebrate my strengths. You don’t expect me to be perfect (even if I tend to expect that in myself). You are the best listener I know, and that has been a constant source of support my whole life.”
“The older I get, the more I realize how rare it is for women to have strong, open, real relationships with their dads. I don’t take for granted our time together. I love hanging out with you, and I think the feeling is mutual."
These are very fortunate fathers, indeed. If they are anything like me, I’m confident they may have wondered if they really deserved the praise. But it is more important that their children believe it! I do know you don’t have to be a perfect person to be a loved father. We know that perfection is impossible, and our kids also know. Children want guidance so dearly, yet stealthily. They won’t come up to you and say, “Hit me up with some good advice and philosophy!” No, it is up to you to pick the right moments to say the right things – and to look for those moments. When you do, the greatest rewards will follow; and very important to know is not all of them will be written down or said out loud!
Good luck!
#powerofdadhood
Good luck!
#powerofdadhood
