 “A father yawns when asked about reading to his kids. A dad yawns while reading to his kids.”
I have an affliction. I discovered it some 40 years ago when I read “I am a Bunny”, the first book we bought for April, our first child. I could not get through two sentences without yawning wildly – long, deep, eye closing, quivering yawns! I didn’t think much of it until it hit me again just a few sentences later. (I’m actually yawning now, just thinking about it.) Now I’m reading to my grandchildren and it still happens. I can’t explain it. I try to talk through the yawns so the kids don’t get bored waiting for me to recover. But all they hear from my gaping mouth is, “My ame is ickoyas, I… ive ina ha-ha-ha-whoa wee”. (Translated: “My name is Nicholas, I live in a hollow tree.”) But, despite my all-but-smooth delivery, I brave on because reading to children is so important to their development. Why? Men who don’t enjoy reading to their children are missing not only a great bonding experience, but are failing in the important role of nurturing. Reading to your kids expands their vocabulary and sparks their imagination. It is a great way to connect with them. Babies love your attention and the sound of your voice is soothing and reassuring. Toddlers like the stories, eventually connecting the words with pictures. Books become a symbol of love, learning, and relationships, hopefully becoming an important part of their entire lives. Children learn to love the sound of language before they even know about the words on the page. Reading books aloud to children stimulates their imagination and expands their understanding of the world. It helps them develop language and listening skills and prepares them to understand the written word. When the rhythm of language become a part of a child's life, learning to read and reading to learn will be natural steps to follow. Reading together is fun family time; a time to not only share your passions, views, and establish values, but also a time to listen and learn about your kids. It creates a time for children to ask questions as well as an opportunity for parents to show their kids how important they are to you. Yes, I’ve struggled mightily to not yawn as I’ve read to my children and grandchildren. But they have never complained and always would be patient with me. The memories of the many books, some having been read over and over again, are precious to me. They may not remember those times as well as I do, but they have surely benefited in many ways, as I have benefited especially in deep breathing!  “A father looks to the mom when the kids are chaotic. A dad is part of the chaos.” There are not many worse situations in a family than a missing father. But a close second is a present, but non-participating father. Some men are not comfortable being active parents for whatever reason. Others have demanding schedules that make it difficult to be as involved as they may like. A few are selfish, interested only in themselves. Sure, maybe a passive or non-involved father provides for the family and is a male symbol. And surely he loves his family. But does he show his love? Does he understand the vital role he plays in his children's development? Boys need a proper role model and girls need to be loved by, and treated with respect by, a loving male.  When a mere father comes home to his family, no one seems to notice. Some may even cringe knowing they have to be careful not to upset their father. But when a dad comes home, there are are hellos, hugs, and general happiness.
Noise can bother some fathers, even if the noise is laughter. A good dad will become a part of, and cause for, the laughter. He also is the one who properly corrects his children when necessary. That responsibility is never delegated. When a mother yells at her kids to settled down, let the dad be the cause of the chaos, playing, teasing, or wrestling with his kids. But to say "settled down, your bothering your father", is not the sign of a happy family. Of course, there are times that kids get out of control while one of their parents are in need of quiet and cooperation. I don't think it is too difficult to figure out. Be a part of your children's life! School, sports, games, activities, their friends, etc., these are all areas with which fathers should be involved. Make playing in the backyard with them a frequent activity. As happened to the baseball great Harmon Killebrew when he was a kid - it's a really good sign when a dad and his children get in trouble together! |
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