Category: Integrity

Thoughts of an Old Guy

7/20/2023

The face of wisdom???

At 73 years old, you like to think you have gained some wisdom. Well, I don't always feel wise, but I do try to help others, mostly young fathers. It's top of my mind to share what I have learned because being mentored came late to me. This experience is the topic of a memoir that is currently at my publisher.

The title is "A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger". I hope for it to be available before the end of the year.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded of things we may already know, or really never thought through. Here are some thoughts:

The bravest person is not the most fearless. It’s the person that may be terrified but does what they have to do.
A beautiful person is not the most pleasing to the eye. It’s the person that is pleasing to all the senses.
A successful person is not measured by accomplishments alone, but by the failures that were overcome while serving others with kindness and grace.
A good parent is not one that gives without expectations and overly protects. It is the parent that guides, tests, and corrects while placing learning stresses on their children while preparing them for the world.
Honesty alone does not ensure respect. An honest person who can be believed without deception yet with thoughtful forbearance will be the most respected.
Those things that can be perfected will take away from other things that could be done better. Choose wisely.
Have integrity and you will have friends, influence, purpose, and meaning.

Michael Byron Smith
Author of “The Power of Dadhood”

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The Highway to Success

6/6/2023

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Jagranjosh.com

Success is defined in many ways.

Let’s say success is helping society in a way that also provides happiness and fulfillment to the individual. You may have your own view of success, but let’s go with this one.

But let’s talk not of your success, but how you may help your children reach success. What better way is there to help society through your children! But what makes a kid a successful adult? Some words that come to mind are focus, goals, passion, persistence, desire, and guidance. Some kids are lucky to be born with some or most of these qualities, but all kids need, or could be helped with, mentoring.

Parents can and should provide experiences to their kids in all the activities they have time and money for. This did not happen for me, therefore, I was on my own. Most little boys love airplanes and that’s where I turned for inspiration. That pulled me through to my success, but it was more difficult without other skills, skills that require repetition, encouragement, and simply introduction.

When you watch your kid’s involvement in any activity, you can generally tell if their interest and talent is there. But don’t give up too soon. Well-rounded experiences are good for a well-rounded person. To reach greater heights of success in any endeavor, however, one must attempt to be the hardest working person in that endeavor. When the effort isn’t there, recognize it in time and consider finding another interest/activity to invest in.

Anyone not attempting to be the hardest working person in an activity is either not interested in it or not motivated to be the best. That is a difficult issue to deal with and requires honest evaluation. What if your child has no interest in anything? It could be any number of reasons. Certainly, the mental or physical health of your child could be a factor and should be investigated. Or perhaps, they have yet to find a passion. If a child is so focused on one activity that they ignore everything else, then allow it only if there is a future in it. Usually, there is not. If this is a negative activity, one that is more destructive than helpful, you may have to step in. Addiction to video games, only hanging out with friends, or constant screen time could be negative, while drug use would certainly be obstacles to success. Laziness could also be an issue. It may take medication, counselling, or parental dynamite to solve, if possible. But something needs to be done or real success may never come, or come very late.

Watch closely! How hard are your children working? How much do they care? Your interests may not be their interests, not that you can’t introduce them. Just because they can’t do one thing well, doesn’t mean they don’t have other talents. A butter knife doesn’t work well as a screwdriver or pencil sharpener, but it spreads peanut butter nicely. Kids are like that too. Place them in an environment and situation in which they can not only build confidence but succeed!

Our kids can’t be expected to travel to places we choose for them. No, our job is to teach them the rules of the road, helping them to get there safely, quickly, smoothly and with integrity.

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Thoughts on Ethics, Children, and Student Loans

11/20/2022

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“The times, they are a-changing,” sang Bob Dylan. As the times change, so do ethical challenges. And you may have noticed that changes are accelerating at an alarming rate! In some ways, are children are not as affected as their parents, until they become parents themselves. After all, they are raised in what is their parents’ new normal, but their only normal.

World renowned futurist and author of “The Singularity is Near” Ray Kurzweil sees an exponential increase in the rate of change. He suggests we will see 20,000 years of change in the next century alone, based on a continuing pace of acceleration. Scary stuff!

As a kid, I fantasized about who cool it would be if everyone had a phone with them at all times, likely influenced by the capabilities of Dick Tracy’s watch. Three weeks ago, I bought my first Apple Watch. Now, not only do I have a phone on me that can speak to anyone in the world for free, it also monitors my heart rate, blood oxygen and blood sugar! I haven’t even mentioned how smartphones can help us with directions, photography, exercise, and so much more. What will our phones, apps, watches, fridges and cars do for use 20 years from now?

With all this change comes ethical challenges. How will privacy be protected? Will mental health be challenged? Will truth be more difficult to find given all the sources, many of which cannot be trusted? How fast to we allow our children to be introduced to technology, especially smartphones?

However, there are base ethical principles that should never change...
and your children should know and understand them. Here are seven ethical ideas that are explained simply enough for your kids to understand:

Honesty - reliably sharing good and bad news, and performing alone as you would being supervised, even if it’s painful.
Fairness - Life is not fair, but people should be. Treat others as you would want to be treated.
Integrity - keeping promises and simply doing what you say you are going to do, honestly and fairly (see above).
Compassion - understanding with kindness the needs, sensitivities, and values of others.
Respect - interacting with others with compassion and fairness (see above),
Responsibility - performing to completion, any task for which you are expected to do.
Leadership - being an example of ethical and responsible behavior to and for those you influence.

A current example

Now I’d like to apply these basic ethical principles to a current controversial topic, the bailout of student loans. When students get a loan for school, they sign a contract stating the guidelines for that loan to be repaid. If not repaid, many ethical principles are broken. I am against this bailout for the ethical reasons stated above.

The first ethical guideline is ‘integrity’ which includes the ethics of ‘honesty’ and ‘fairness’. Students are ‘responsible’ for those loans, like it or not. Those loans must be paid some way, if not by the borrower, then by the citizens who pay taxes. This is not respectful to many others. First, to those who repaid their loans in the past. Second, to the taxpayers who have to pick up students’ burden. Last, to those hard-working people who paid off loans to build a business, buy tools, or attendedtrade schools through borrowing.

It was reported on a Sunday morning show that 50% of the citizenry of the US is for this student loan bailout. No doubt many of these people have outstanding student loans. That doesn’t make their favoritism for this policy ethical. In fact, they are selling ethics for financial gain, a quandary no doubt.

I paid off my student loans, some of which were not for school, but to help my family. Likewise, many students take out loans for reasons other than school, often for reasons of entertainment. Borrow money for whatever reason you want. Just be responsible enough to have the integrity to pay back your lenders. That’s what a leader would do. It’s honest, fair, and respectful!

Have you discussed ethics with your children?
#powerofdadhood

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Thoughts of an Old Guy

The Highway to Success

Thoughts on Ethics, Children, and Student Loans

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Thoughts of an Old Guy

​The Highway to Success

​Thoughts on Ethics, Children, and Student Loans

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The Highway to Success

Thoughts on Ethics, Children, and Student Loans