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​Expanding Your Child’s Horizons: Unconventional After-School Pursuits

7/31/2023

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Photo Credit: August de Richelieu via Pexels
Foreword 

As a child, I was raised in an environment that was a stimulation wasteland, where many days went by without mental growth. It slowed my emotional intelligence and limited my ability to compete and grow. My book on this topic will be published later this year. It's entitled "A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger".

This article by Lacie Martin of <raisethemwell.org> has activity suggestions that will prepare your child for a future that will challenge them, making them competitive with peers, or even ahead of them. I heartily endorse these suggestions!

Michael Byron Smith



​​Expanding Your Child’s Horizons: Unconventional After-School Pursuits
 
After-school activities can make a significant difference in a child's life by providing opportunities that go beyond academics and sports. Participating in extracurricular activities can help a child shape their identity and broaden their interests. Today, Michael Byron Smith explores some alternative after-school activities meant to foster your child’s creativity, independence, and social skills.
 
Enroll Them in Martial Arts 
Martial arts is a popular activity that doesn’t require prior experience. Apart from its health benefits, martial arts provide a disciplined approach to physical fitness and help children develop emotional intelligence and learn self-defense. The advanced skills required for martial arts teach children to set realistic goals and work towards achieving them. Moreover, this activity teaches children the importance of respect, courtesy, and empathy, which improves their relationships with others.
 
Start a Book Club After School 
Encouraging your child to read is one of the most effective ways to spark their imagination and shape their personality. By joining an after-school book club, your child can enhance their reading skills and comprehension and discover new authors, genres, and cultures. In addition, book clubs provide a platform for kids to improve their social skills by discussing and debating different perspectives with their peers. Give your child the gift of a book club membership and unlock their full potential.
 
Check Out Coding 
Encouraging children to learn how to code not only provides a foundation for future careers in technology, but also supports the development of critical thinking, problem-solving, and creativity. Learning to code also teaches children how to approach complex tasks with patience and persistence, helping them to build resilience and confidence. Plus, coding skills can be applied to a variety of fields, from science and engineering, to gaming and media, making it a versatile and valuable tool for future success. You can enroll your child into a coding class or club, or use free online resources to get started!
 
After-School Theater Is Great 
The theater is an exceptional after-school activity for children who love performing arts or longing to enhance their public speaking skills. It is a platform that fosters creativity, collaboration, and self-expression. By providing a secure environment, theater instills a sense of comfort with vulnerability, enabling kids to develop emotional intelligence and social awareness. Besides, theater instills the values of teamwork and respect for others, as children work together to achieve a common goal.
 
Introduction to Entrepreneurship 
Encouraging children to unleash their entrepreneurial potential can be an exhilarating and fulfilling after-school pursuit. For instance, you should show them how to create a text logo online, which is a great way to encourage their creativity while also encouraging the development of other business skills like critical thinking, problem-solving, and leadership. At first, they can start small with products or services that cater to their peers and capture their interests. As their venture flourishes, they will gradually master various aspects of entrepreneurship, such as financial management, marketing strategies, and customer service.
 
Encourage Volunteering 
Encouraging your child to spearhead a volunteer project can be a transformative and gratifying after-school activity. By fostering a sense of social responsibility and empathy, they can hone essential life skills and create lasting community impact. From organizing a food or clothing drive to leveraging social media to rally volunteers and donations, their leadership skills will shine through every aspect of their initiative. Through volunteerism, they can not only develop emotional intelligence and social skills but also deepen their connection to society.
 
Learn a Musical Instrument 
Learning a musical instrument is not just a beneficial after-school activity; it is a life-altering experience that ingrains invaluable qualities like patience, discipline, and perseverance. It immeasurably enhances cognitive capacity, fine motor skills, and memory, besides providing endless personal satisfaction. From the guitar to the piano to drums and more, children can choose any instrument that resonates with them. With regular practice, they can sharpen their skills and unlock a lifelong passion for music that will stay with them forever.
 
Help Your Child Find Their Passions 
Extracurricular activities can have a profound impact on your child's life trajectory. By motivating them to engage in after-school activities, you expand their horizons, improve their social skills, and empower them to pursue their passions and interests. Offering your child these opportunities to explore, grow, and learn vital life skills can unlock a world of possibilities and create a strong foundation for their future success.
 
Being a parent is hard, but Michael Byron Smith wants to help men learn how to be great dads to their kids. Visit me online to learn more parenting tips.
 

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​Calming the Paranoia

5/24/2022

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Picturephoto by author
It used to be that kids could play outside on their own for hours on end. “Come home when the streetlights come on,” moms would say. No longer! The typical neighborhood in the US is no more dangerous now, and likely less dangerous than it was then. But, of course, we hear of every discretion in the world now through the multitude of media outlets and the lightning-fast way that news travels. Then we imagine the transgression and make it personal, thinking how horrible it would be if that incident or tragedy happened to our loved ones!

For instance, many parents now fear that any day their 9 year old will be abducted on his three-block walk home. So mom or dad meet him at school or, at my grandchildren’s school, the school won’t let a ‘walker’ off the property until in the hands of a known adult. My purpose here is not to criticize steps taken to protect our children, but to ease some of the mind-numbing fear because another factor exists which is rarely considered, that is the exceedingly remote likelihood of a kidnapping happening to you or anyone you know–the ‘IF’ factor.

According to the Polly Klaas Foundation, 99.8% of the children who go missing do come home! And only about 100 children (a fraction of 1%) are kidnapped each year in the entire United States in the stereotypical stranger abductions you hear about in the news.

Let me take the example of flying in a commercial aircraft. This causes much fear in some people because, let’s face it, a crash is dramatic and might kill you. But if you care to look, here is a link showing the flights currently in the air. It reveals just how busy the airways are, yet you rarely hear of an incident even though every accident, even minor, is reported. So while Americans have a 1 in 114 chance of dying in a car crash, according to the National Safety Council, the odds of dying in an air incident are 1 in 9,821. That’s 86 times safer than driving and three times safer than eating because of the choking hazard, yet we take the risk of riding in a car and eating.

Two Factors to Consider

Likelihood: Realize that you can cheat yourself or your children of significant life opportunities if you don’t consider how unlikely some consequences are. Being kidnapped or dying in a plane crash are just two examples of risks that parents and others avoid, only considering the consequences and not the likelihood.

When we keep our kids too safe, there are still risks. You may end up with a child who is afraid of things they’ve never tried in life or who is awkward in certain social situations. They may miss out on experiences to grow or to build confidence. These consequences are not as severe as being abducted or dying in a plane crash, but the likelihood of those things happening is much higher.

Consequence: Some bad things do happen and happen frequently! And they are good for personal growth. Consider the consequences (impact) of the failure. Often the result is learning. Striking out with in baseball is not desirable, but the consequence is small; and the experience is a good lesson in corrective action and sportsmanship. Other consequences are so devastating that one would not take the chance of even with small likelihood. Those decisions are often personality related.  
 
Summary
​

I know that few parents are likely to stop escorting their children in safe neighborhoods if that makes them feel more comfortable (certainly a valid thing to do in unsafe neighborhoods), and those afraid of flying will remain so. But I hope that, maybe, if we consider more than just the visions of what we hear and see on the news, and consider their likelihoods also, then the paranoia can be reduced, thereby helping our sanity, our contentment and our joy of living.

The Power of Dadhood, a book of parenting by this author.
 



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Life Lessons through Flying

8/29/2021

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PictureAuthor during USAF Pilot Training
Introduction:

Those of you who have followed this blog, “Helping Fathers to be Dads”, know about my book on fatherhood entitled, “The Power of Dadhood”. The book was written from the standpoint of a father whose own father was not there for him, nor for his siblings. I am now writing a memoir of my childhood describing the unnecessary struggles we battled to succeed. What helped me to overcome the lack of help from, and even the obstruction of, my father, was my strong desire to be a pilot, which gave me purpose.

Currently, I am in an editing phase of my memoir, which I find quite difficult. I have added, deleted and flipped paragraphs, even chapters. I have written and rewritten sentences over and over again. Complete scenes seemed irrelevant on review and therefore dropped as I continued to fine tune my message . During this editing, I continued to write this blog each week.

Following is a deleted story from my draft. I found it was too redundant and excessive. But it is somewhat humorous, so I decided I could use it here as fatherly advice. The intent of the story was to show how failure is often caused by overthinking. When there is only time to react, you may find out you are more capable than you know.

The Excerpt

My slow start during T-37 training had passed, and I was getting into a rhythm. On a T-38 cross country training flight from California back to Texas, my instructor and I were leaving March AFB on a typically low overcast morning. This young captain, my mentor, had visited friends in the area and had a late night of celebration.

We were cruising around 30,000 feet over Phoenix, Arizona, and the ship was mine, meaning I was flying the aircraft. Suddenly, the nose of the T-38 shot straight up vertically! I did not know what was happening as I heard my instructor mumbling to me, “You…. have… the (gurgle)… air…craaaft.” With that, I pushed the control stick forward to stop the climb and descended back to our assigned altitude. When I leveled off, I asked him if he was okay. He replied, “I’m sick… very sick, you’ve got it from here.” I never heard another word from him until landing 800 miles later when he said, “Good job”! I taxied in, my instructor crawled out of the rear cockpit looking like a ghost and mumbled, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The airman directed us to our parking location, climbed the ladder to the rear cockpit, and began cursing as if he were in the Navy! My instructor had thrown up all over the cockpit and left it to the ground crew to clean up. Courtesy held that any pilot who lost his lunch would clean up his mess, but my instructor was too sick to do that in his condition. Hopefully, he apologized to the young airman later.

The T-38 Talon had taken a sudden climb upward over the Phoenix area because the instructor hit the trim button on the top of the control stick as he was vomiting his breakfast into his flight glove. The purpose of the trim button is to adjust the pressure felt on the control stick as the flow of air over the control surfaces changes. To keep from losing control, I had to push the stick forward against all the pressure of the trimmed surfaces while ‘re-trimming’ (nose down) to a level flight position. Of course, when you are climbing and then push forward, you will become weightless. I can only imagine what this did to my flight instructor’s stomach, not to mention the vomit in the cockpit and that captured in his flight glove!
​

That flight taught me I could do what I needed to do when I needed to do it. Not that what I did was difficult at that point in my training. First, I had to recover from an unexpected out-of-control situation. Then, I had to take full responsibility for the aircraft, the instructor, and myself. Without the ‘chance’ to anticipate the challenge, it went flawlessly. This positive outcome came because I didn’t make it more difficult in my head beforehand.

Summary

My issue as a boy growing up was confidence and poor self-esteem. I carried these feelings into the Air Force. While I earned my wings, I had to fight every day to do so. Acting with full confidence and valuing myself would have allowed my training to be more enjoyable and made me a better pilot. I was learning basic life skills at a place and time when I should have simply been learning the skills of an Air Force pilot. I think I would have been in the top of my class had my father been there to prepare me. Fathers! Please mentor your children. Learn what they can do well, what scares them, and what interests them. You can guide them to a greater success!




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