The official release was two days ago (April 28, 2015). Everyone has been supportive and the reviews have been wonderful! Thank You!
This excerpt from Chapter 9 "Fathering with Love" is entitled:
Give Your Kids the Father They Really Want
“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.”
Kids don’t always know it, but they want your love and your direction.
They want to know what the limits are. Young brains cannot judge danger because kids feel invincible. Children need to know the rules to succeed in society and need to have principles to base their decisions on. Having principles contributes to their self-esteem.
Children must learn that when no respect is given, no respect will be received; when no work is accomplished, no rewards will be forthcoming. When they fight you on the limits, dangers, rules, and principles you teach, don’t interpret that as their desire for you to go away. They may think they want you to leave them alone, but if you did, they would be hurt deeply. Mostly, your kids need love and guidance, and you give them these gifts by being consistent and firm with them.
Too many times I have seen parents take the easy road and solve their children’s problems for them. It’s the easy way out for the parents because the issue goes away quicker and with less effort. What’s worse, it’s also the easy way out for the child because he or she is off the hook with little or no consequence and without learning life’s lessons.
If you want your children to be stronger, you don’t take them to the gym and lift the weights for them. If you want them to be smarter, you don’t go to class for them and do their homework. Similarly, if you want them to learn the rules of life, you don’t protect them from life. You must provide the way—give them a map and the rules of the road, but don’t take the journey for them because they will not get anywhere that way. There must be consequences or there is no learning, and there must be boundaries to keep them on the right path.
What is fathering with love? It means, of course, being there, but it also involves helping your children make their own decisions, teaching them how to choose wisely, putting your foot down when they make poor decisions, and letting them know you love them, no matter what.
PS: Thanks to my beautiful granddaughter Malia for the beautiful drawing and sweet message!