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36 Quick Suggestions for Your 2024 Attitude

12/27/2023

My granddaughter, Malia, reading when she was 11

For the New Year 2024, I hope the best for everyone. Most of it is up to you! This includes doing your best to be better no matter if it’s saving money, being a parent, or exercising. Of course, you can’t be the best at everything but you can have an great attitude! Here are some suggestions for your 2024 attitude. You don’t actually have to do these things (we can’t), but you can feel this way inside. Just think of John Travolta in the opening scene of “Staying Alive”. If that doesn’t put a bounce in your step, nothing will.

If you don’t like any of these suggestions, use your own. If you have your own thoughts on 'being like', let me know them in the comments section and I may publish them.

So......

Sing like Whitney Houston
Dance like Fred Astaire
Laugh like Eddie Murphy
Walk like John Travolta
Play like a child
Love like Mother Theresa
Pray like Billy Graham
Give like Bill Gates
Cook like Julia Childs
Inspire like Dale Carnegie
Share like Winnie the Pooh
Rock like The Rolling Stones
Swim like Michael Phelps
Run like Carl Lewis
Teach like Jesus
Be happy like Happy (one of the Seven Dwarfs)
Travel like Rick Steves
Read like my 15-year-old granddaughter
Climb Mountains like Sir Edmond Hillary
Write like Ernest Hemmingway
Build like the Egyptians
Play tennis like Serena Williams
Fly like Chuck Yeager
Exercise like Richard Simmons
Paint like Rembrandt
Design like Da Vinci
Invent like Edison
Lead like Churchill
Sleep like Rip Van Winkle
Be calm like Buddha
Study like a monk
Take photos like Ansel Adams
Ride like the Pony Express
Act like your know what you’re doing
Imagine like Elon Musk

36. But still be your best self!

#Powerofdadhood

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Old White Men

12/18/2023

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Author: A 73 year old white guy.

How does this work? How do I gain any traction among young people when I’m a 73 year old white guy? I've had a challenging childhood, graduated from college, served in the military, been a volunteer, written two books, been married and helped raise three successful adult children. Yet my opinions are not valid to some because of my race and age.

Have you heard anyone say, “Why should I listen to you (or him)? You are (he is) just an old white guy.” Yes. there are old white guys that have different ideas about life and many of those ideas are wrong, but not automatically wrong. It’s not so much that they are white and old, it’s about their values and how they came about. It’s no different than anyone else.

I like baseball more than football. That’s not wrong, I just grew up with baseball as a companion. I’d be surprised if someone from Alabama didn’t like football more than baseball, or if someone from Indiana enjoyed basketball best. Thoughts are just opinions, 'likes' are personal. Some thoughts and opinions are based on interests, others come from tradition, training, mentorship, or personal background. These are important factors to understand when in discussion with someone.

The first step in any discussion involving disagreement is, “Do you know where I am coming from? Do you know why I feel this way?” That certainly does not create agreement, but it does provide understanding. For instance, I staunchly support the nuclear family as the best way to raise children. But many single parents or some in the LGBTQ community may disagree, and have! I understand why. How can you champion a situation you cannot have or do not want?

Why is the nuclear family a priority to me? First of all, it just seems to be obvious, but also I was raised, not with a single mother, but with an abandoned mother. I prayed for my dad to be responsible to his family. Personally, I missed out on having my father mentor me, support me, or correct me. When I became a father myself, I did everything I could think of to be the father my father was not. My children already had what I had as a kid, a loving mother. But with my help, we raised three thriving adult children with four grandchildren headed in the right direction. My siblings and I, on the other hand, struggled mightily with self-confidence, education, money, and for many of us, marriage. As a result, I see tremendous value in the nuclear family.

It's not just my experience, the proof is in the statistics! Those statistics overwhelmingly state the case that a father in the home results in less poverty, less crime, less suicide, more education, less mental instability, etc.! I am not telling the single parents or LGBTQ community they are doing a bad job at raising kids. Often, it is the best solution possible. I am saying the children are at a disadvantage not having access to a father (or mother) in their life.

I value traditional ideals based on my life experiences. If that makes me old fashioned, then I'm good with that. Alternate lifestyles are not something I’m against for those who want them…but I’d like to see restraint when the intent is to popularize some of the more progressive lifestyles with very impressionable young people. Sexually explicit books in schools are not something I endorse. Parents not being informed by teachers regarding issues that affect their child is beyond frightening. Encouraging young people to mutilate their bodies because they feel they are in the wrong body should be met with the greatest scrutiny possible. These are considered hang ups of old white guys, not keeping up with a progressive society. But why should I not support my value system? If I and others do not, my value system will die without proper defense. If my values do die, considering a strong and logical defense has been made, then they likely deserve to die.

I think it comes down to honestly surveying your values. Knowing the difference between biases and truth, between fads and rock-solid ideals, between opinion and fact, between rebellion and progress, while understanding the motives for people’s beliefs. These are fundamental understandings to aid any discussion.

Few of us are anarchists. Conservative or liberal, we want a growing stability in the world, better lives for those coming behind us, and the ability and freedom to thrive. We won’t always agree on how to do so, but we can agree to be open to hearing the views of others and understanding their rationale, thereby helping us to be respectful while still disagreeing...or even compromising.

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My newest book is now available. It's the story of why I think fatherhood is so important!

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Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

12/14/2023

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My grandchildren Dec 2016

With Christmas nearing, parents’ attention turns to thoughts of ‘what do we get the kids?’ If we’re honest, it rarely has anything to do with whether they were naughty or nice. More likely, it has to do with ‘competition’! Competing for their favor or trying to keep up with what their friends have or will be getting. Or, maybe your gifts are based on guilt. Guilt for not spending enough time with them or for being too self-obsessed.

Yes, what your kids get for Christmas can be based on how naughty or nice you have been, not your children!

We have seen good parents and bad parents. Where do you stand on this scale of effective parenting? Whatever the answer, how you perform as a parent is not likely to change much unless you are truly interested in changing and are persistent in your efforts. So let us take a look at some naughty or nice parental criteria and think about how we raise our children.

A Parental ‘Naughty or Nice’ List

You show your love for your children - nice!
You’re over committed outside the family – naughty!
You give one-on-one attention to your children – nice!
You don’t really always listen when your kids talk to you – naughty!
You comfort your kids when appropriate – nice!
You and your spouse don’t agree on how to raise your kids – very naughty!
You’re tough on your kids when you need to be – nice!
You praise your children’s efforts and rejoice when they are persistent – nice!
You forget your children are watching you – naughty!
You say what you will do and do what you say – very nice!
You think you know it all when it comes to parenting – naughty!
You teach your children know how to set and meet goals – nice!
You teach your children to be self-reliant and responsible for their actions – nice!
You remember to have time to yourself, to reenergize - nice!
You have an open mind toward things you don’t understand – nice!
You love being a parent – nice!

Check this list twice, and find out if you're naughty or nice!

These are just a few of the things that most of us would consider naughty or nice as we raise our children. But all of us are naughty and nice to some degree. What we hope for is to be working towards being nicer and away from naughty. What is important to remember is to not buy your children’s love or make up for your shortcomings through expensive gifts. This and every Christmas, if you indeed celebrate Christmas, be sure to remind your family of its deeper meaning. And the wrapped gifts you give should pale in comparison to the love you have shared with every child.

#powerofdadhood

Original version published Dec 2016

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What I Really Want for Christmas!

12/6/2023

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Wishing all families be whole this Christmas season and forever more!

Photo: M.Smith

Originally written on 12/22/2014

As a kid, I remember being so excited about Christmas morning that I could barely sleep, tossing and turning all night on Christmas Eve. My brothers, sisters, and I would wake up early, usually before the sun rose, and our mouths would be as wide open as our eyes when we saw what was under a usually scraggy tree. All the presents were open before you could ask “how did Santa get in without a fireplace?” A mountain of wrapping paper covered the floor. Even though we didn’t have much money, we always seemed to have a nice Christmas one way or the other. There are many to thank for that, especially my Mom!

Then as an adult, when our kids were young, my wife and I would make sure they were asleep on Christmas Eve before making multiple trips up and down the stairs to gather all their presents and put them under the tree, hoping we could get a good night’s rest. We were a little tougher on our kids, not letting them tear into the presents right away. On Christmas morning, we (mostly my wife, Kathy) made them take turns opening their gifts so each present and each kids’ reaction were more appreciated. After a couple of Christmases like that, they cooperated nicely.

Photo: A McLellan

Now I’m a grandparent. It’s not about getting presents any longer, and we can sleep later because the grandkids come over after opening Santa’s presents at their own homes. However, we made a special request for Santa to bring some of their presents to our house.

I can’t wait to see our six year old and one year old granddaughters, and our two year old grandson opening gifts at our house. The look of excitement on the faces of little children as they rip open presents is one of life’s true joys! And yes, we ask that they take turns but, hey, they're little. Then after all gifts are open, the kids play in the boxes! On that basis, I was always good for numerous cheap presents thinking the kids don't know the difference under five years old and the act of tearing off wrapping paper was the true joy!

However, Christmas season is not just for children, it’s for families! It’s a reason to be together, to make new memories, to love and be loved, and to get to know each other just a little more. That’s what it is supposed to be like…and it is for most of us. But Christmas can also intensify whatever troubles there may be within a family.

If a member of the family, who you miss very much, is not with you on Christmas--you miss them more than ever. If there is turmoil in a family, Christmas can help to relieve that turmoil, or make it worse. Yes, Christmas is a very tough time of year for many families.

I have progressed in my wishes for Christmas over the years.

At six--a cowboy hat and a toy pistol/holster combo.
At sixteen--a mustang convertible, red with a white top.
At twenty six--a house of our own and kids.
At thirty six--suffering for all my enemies.
At forty six--World Peace!
At fifty six—retirement!
Note: I retired at 57, not bad! I'm 73 now and loving my family, and so missing my wife, who we lost 21 months ago.

I hit the jackpot at age six! The others Christmas wishes had to wait a little while, or I’m still waiting. But now I have a new wish.

So what do I really want for Christmas now that I have seen a few years? I want for other families what I am fortunate enough to already have. I want ALL families to be whole, with a mom and a dad, and throw in a few loving grandparents if possible. I want ALL kids to have good parents. I want ALL parents to have good kids with bright futures, who will become good parents themselves in a never-ending cycle of whole, mostly happy, productive families.

Hummm, sounds like I’m back to World Peace. Well, it never hurts to dream!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Photo: M. Smith

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36 Quick Suggestions for Your 2024 Attitude

Old White Men

​Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

What I Really Want for Christmas!

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