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'Little Patriots' Embrace 'Dadhood'

10/30/2017

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It was a fortuitous day some three years ago. It was on that day that I walked into the office of Little Patriots Embraced (LPE) with my friend Sue to see if a book that I had just had published could be useful to them in meeting their goals. It was the last stop of about nine that day, going to various charities that had the betterment of children and families as part of their mission.

I had written a book on the importance of involved fathers and how to meet some of the challenges all men face as parents. The title of the book is “The Power of Dadhood”, in which I discuss both the obvious, and sometimes very subtle, powers that fathers have within their families; and which, if not understood, could have serious repercussions on the well-being of their children.

Our goal was to not to sell the book, but to sell the idea of the book as a tool to help in the various missions of these charities. We had left copies with all the charities we had visited. The only response came from Carol Watanabe, the founder and president of 
LPE.

The mission of Little Patriots Embraced is to enhance the lives of our Military Families in need while, and because, their loved one(s) are protecting our freedom. It was clear to Carol that military parents have a clear disadvantage over most parents, who are often not with their families due to frequent travel, training, and long deployments. Particularly at risk are the relationships of the fathers who are more often the parent in the military.

I decided, after meeting with Carol, to donate 150 books to be given free to military families upon LPE’s visits to installations around the country. A few months later, a retired USAF Colonel friend of mine and his wife donated $2000 to buy more books to be given away to military families. As a retired USAF Colonel myself, and a strong champion of the military, this match-up of helping fathers and military families became a match made in heaven. Eventually, I became a proud board member of LPE.

PictureJessica, ready for the kids!
We have supported individual families with sick children, families with financial burdens, Gold Star families, and been a part of just saying thank you, especially to military kids who serve through their parents by giving up so much of their time with them! This past week, we gave away 160 signature Little Patriot Bears to kids and 75 copies of my book at a Fall Festival at Ft. Leonard Wood in Missouri. We intend to continue helping kids in military families with the help of others.

If you find it in your heart, help us reduce the emotional stress that military family members have due to separation, relocation, or death of a loved one with a donation through our website or Facebook page. Also, what better way to help any family than to help them to mentor and help each other. This was my personal message in writing my book on fatherhood.


Text: 501501
Subject: LPE
Press Send
Respond: YES. 
It’s that easy!

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There Are No Ugly Children

10/16/2017

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PictureMy grandchildren: The light shines in them!
I am blessed with four beautiful grandchildren. It doesn’t matter if they are cute, but they are. It doesn’t matter if they are smart, but they are. It doesn’t matter is they smile and reach for hugs when they see me, as three out of four do (the holdout is my grandson – but there is no issue). No, all that matters is they are children who need love and who want to love back. My grandchildren are the brightest lights in my life - as are yours to you, as it should be. The same, of course, for their parents.

Physical beauty and personal charm is a true advantage in life. It’s so easy to be enamored by a cute little boy or girl as you watch them romp at a playground with their dad, or see them clinging to a shopping cart with their mom. Pretty curls or charming smiles naturally draw attention from strangers. (Please, I’m not talking about ‘weirdos’).

It’s very difficult for me to find a child that has no charm, but when I do, I immediately think about what may be going on in that child’s life. When eyes sparkle and when smiles are wide, children radiate their inner happiness and beauty. But vacant eyes and somber looks, notwithstanding a bad cold or a stomachache, are windows into their backstory.

When I see a child like this, a child who seems melancholy, I look up at the adult they are with, assuming they are the parent/grandparent. What is in their eyes? How are they reacting to, or interacting with their child? I don’t often say hello or smile at a young child with a far-off look. It doesn’t see welcomed to do so either by the child or his/her parents. It could be just a bad day all-around and you don’t want to mess with that. But children at risk are the kids that most need a boost to their ego or a compliment to remember.

Where am I going with this? I guess it is a reminder that is a family’s responsibility to provide an environment that will allow a child to thrive. No one will love your child as much as you do. No one will have more influence than you. Even if they are tutored by a near Leonardo Di Vinci, a parent will have the early influence that will shape them. Words of confidence, acts of love, and corrections as necessary will be the tools to shape them in the best way you can.
​
It’s a fact that 34 million children live in a one-parent home. Many more live in homes where parenting is an afterthought to existence. Those children may experience some inattention. So as a stranger, or as a friend or neighbor, consider smiling or giving words of praise to a child, and not just the cute lovable ones. It’s a tough choice, to mind your own business or take a chance and engage in a positive way. Those blessed children aren’t as likely to be in need of attention. They are the fortunate ones with loving guidance at home. The sullen children can appear unattractive, but there are no ugly children, just those looking to escape into the shining light. Those who would be surprised at being noticed in a positive way.

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If

10/9/2017

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​Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If” (below) is one of my all-time favorites! He describes so eloquently the challenges one can face and what can be done to counter those challenges. Success in abundance awaits anyone overcoming these obstacles of life. But the big question is, “If you can”.

Kipling tells his son what will make him a man. However, we’re not sure if he mentored him on just how to meet and beat those challenges. Virtually no one goes through life and acquires the talent, knowledge, and confidence necessary to succeed without guidance or help from others.

A few years ago I sent Kipling’s poem to my son with multiple notes in the borders to personalize it with some explanation. He was a young man by then and too late to mold him much further to meet these tests. But what a great reminder of the struggles that face all of us.

​No, anything I could do as a father to help mold my son would have had to take place long ago, starting as an infant. A parent’s influence on a child decreases with time. Lessons taught and demonstrated early in their formative years are the lessons that will stick.

‘What to do’ in taking on a challenge is not always enough. Sometimes, children need to know ‘how’. For example, a defensive coach in football, on a fourth and goal on the one yard line, can’t just say, “Don’t let them in the end zone!” He must give them instructions on what to look for and how to stop it. For a father, teaching first requires observation and caring, then being a positive example.

So it is with all fathers - for their daughters, and even more so with sons because of the extra burden of being a male role model. Teach! Demonstrate! Be a model! Just be there, and be involved!


​If 
BY RUDYARD KIPLING
​

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
 
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
 
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
 
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
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