Category: Clouds

Keeping An Oath

7/27/2020

Keeping An Oath

It’s Sunday night and here I sit,
Trying to engage my wit.
For seven years I’ve kept a vow.
Some words are needed, here and now.

Last minute words to share with all,
‘Cause bad parenting comes before a fall.
Near 400 straight Mondays, my thoughts have been due.
Sometimes, a Tuesday. Since I missed a few.

A new topic I search for every week.
It’s not easy, even for a parenting geek.
Sometimes life just gets in the way.
Mowing, reading - a graduation today.

And the baseball season finally began.
Everyone knows, I’m a big fan!
So here I sit, looking for a good theme.
Because today, I just ran out of steam.

Just remember your kids need you so much!
So always remember to love, praise and touch.
I hope this suffices in keeping my oath.
Encouraging parents, Moms and Dads, both!

Michael Byron Smith
#powerofdadhood

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Balance in Words and Action

11/12/2018

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One of the key principles in parenting is ‘balance.’ That’s one of the great treasures of having two parents. A child can see different reactions, beliefs, attitudes, personality, tone, sex, and other differences with two parents in their lives. One parent may be more or less correct than the other but a sneak at both sides, when there are differences, is likely a good thing. Some people call it diversity in viewpoints. Hearing the same thing all the time is more akin to brainwashing. I’m not a big fan of indoctrination! I like choices with reasoned opinions and enlightened options. Of course, I will be biased in my teaching while trying not to be dictatorial.

There also needs to be balance in words that describe your kids’ behavior and personal characteristics. For instance, I like hope - but with action. I believe in faith - but with sincere desire. Hope puts a pilot light in your head, but action comes when you turn on the gas. Having faith, which assumes that you can’t make it happen on your own, is worthless if your faith doesn’t come from deep within your heart.

The Bible, Matthew 5:5 says, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” I believe the meek should have a voice, but I never really understood how they would inherit the earth. That requires some aspect of strength. Then I heard a speaker note that ‘meek’ meant something different when that word was written or translated. The meek were those who ‘had swords but kept them in their sheath,’ assuming they would never be used for gain. I can see those that have ‘strength with temperance’ as those deserving of inheriting the earth.

No, I don’t expect everyone or anyone to accept this meaning of ‘meek,’ but the point is ‘having strength alone’ is not necessarily a good thing. Having strength, using it only for good, is balancing. It makes a strong person compassionate around those without strength.

Another example of balance with words is, ‘rules with flexibility.’ I state in my book on fatherhood, “In a family, a system (a plan or an agreement) can be a set of rules, beliefs, or standards. Most of the time these are never written down, but they should be clear.”

A child doesn’t know what to expect, or what’s expected of them, without rules. But rules must never be so rigid that exceptions can’t be made. Allowing your kids to stay up late to watch an expected meteor shower is more meaningful than sticking tightly to a rule, "In bed by 9."

Flexibility balances rules. Just as:

Accountability balances compassion
Humility balances competence
Guidance balances empathy
Encouragement balances sympathy
Responsibility balances love
Conviction balances promise
Planning balances action
Courage balances vulnerability

Maybe the words I use above to balance each other don’t make sense to you, and perhaps some do. I could explain my thoughts on each, but that’s not what is essential. I hope to convince you that there is never one word that can adequately describe or define a person or situation. It may be true that I was a demanding parent who was loving to his wife and a patriotic citizen - but indeed not the whole truth. For instance, I would say was demanding yet reasonable as a parent, loving but fallible as a husband, and patriotic but not blind as a citizen.

Summary

Balance is a place you always want to be leaning towards. Take time to think. Have I been too hard on my kids lately? Am I working too much and home too little? Have I been spending more time with my youngest child than my oldest? Did I call a child bad when I meant they did a bad thing? Actions matter. Words matter. Be sure the ear is hearing what the mouth is meaning. Nature is always leaning towards balance. In human nature, balance must more often be created.

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don't let people abuse you. Trust, but don't be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.
Nishan Panwar

Be precise in your speech.
Jordan B. Petersen

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First a Father, then Become a Dad!

3/12/2017

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Sometimes fathers are just not tuned in to their children. Kids are always wanting this and asking for that. Of course, no father should or could give in to all of those requests. Neither, however, should a father never give in, or never reward a child. To know when to say no or yes requires one to know each and every child.

A self-absorbed father can make a wrong choice in one of two ways. He can give in too easily to remove, what is to him, an annoyance – a way to move on, to stop the engagement. Or he can stubbornly refuse in order to instill his authority, whether necessary at the time or not. Then again, he just might be lazy, cheap, or not interested.

A dad handles issues like those above differently. He know his children, their desires, their tricks, their needs. A dad knows when to reward, when to surprise, and when saying no is best, which can be quite often – at least at first.

An inner question insightful dads sometimes ask of themselves is this, “Will this (reward, gift, act, assistance) make my child a better or worse person?” Now granted, many of the acts are micro impacts, but over time, they shape your child.

Do dads make mistakes? Do they grow potatoes in Idaho? Yes! An occasional slip, giving in too easily or an earned reward denied, will not be an issue. A cloudy day or two should not ruin a summer vacation. But a father, who is also a dad, will have children who do not beg for every lollipop or bicycle they see, and they will trust their father to make the right decisions for them.

A child learns behavior. Some learn how to work with you as a parent, and others learn how to work around you. Fathers who aren’t ‘dads’ can work against their children, slowing their progress or even pushing them in the wrong direction. A dad works with his children moving forward together.

First a father, then become a dad!

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Be a Dad with Few Regrets - Do It Now!

11/4/2013

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"Never regret what you do for love, only regret what you don't do."
~ Ali Bassam

"Hey Dad! You wanna play catch?"

Regrets. We all have them. When you are single, regrets often involve not working hard enough in school or giving up too early on a dream. After you are a parent, regrets almost always involve your family.

Do I catch up at work, or play catch with my son? Do I go to my daughter's dance class, or do I dance around with excuses not to? Only you can decide. But before you do, if there is any doubt, consider the thought below.

Just a quick reflection, thinking of the day, far in the future, when you are about to breathe your last breath, and you think, "I wish I had..............”

Whatever you fill in the blank with, do it now!

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Dads Notice the Little Things, and the Big!

9/2/2013

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What do the two photos above have in common?

I noticed the clouds, sun and the shadows they created yesterday while I was getting out of my truck. I went in the house, grabbed my camera and took a quick photo. Then I even drove to a nearby park to get a better view. Alas, the one I took first at home was the best. Some of the best moments are fleeting!

In the park there were kids on the playground, a group of young men kicking a soccer ball, and some families picnicking while their kids played in the nearby stream. None of them were looking at the sky, at least not that I could tell. But here I was walking around looking for better angles, with my lens pointed toward the sky. At least we all were enjoying ourselves.

The other photo is my grandson looking out the window of his front door, watching the sprinkler go back and forth. It was taken by his mother who noticed the simplicity of the scene and the emotions it brought forth. This too was a fleeting moment. Maybe not as fleeting as a changing sunset, but ask any parent with grown children and they will tell you just how fleeting it is.

As a Dad, or Mom, consciously notice the little things your children do. What this does is anchor the moment better in your brain for those memories you'll want to remember. It also gives you opportunities to praise, hug, or just say, 'I love you'! (And sometimes to correct!)

What these photos have in common is that the scenes, the moments, had be to noticed first! And there is a difference between being noticed and just being 'looked at'.

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Clouds

7/13/2011

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I love photography and I love clouds. What photography does for a someone is to make them more aware of their surroundings and appreciative of beauty. I'm always looking for a photo op so I'm always looking around at things most people are not. The benefit is a more fulfilling life overall. This brings me to clouds. Clouds can add so much drama to a scene and they can take on so many shapes and styles. The photo above would be boring if the the sky was clear. The peacefulness of this hayfield is complimented by the majesty of the cloud in the background. Even if you don't take pictures, I recommend you look up from your cell phone around and soak up the beauty.

9 Comments

Keeping An Oath

Balance in Words and Action

First a Father, then Become a Dad!

Be a Dad with Few Regrets - Do It Now!

Dads Notice the Little Things, and the Big!

Clouds

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