Being Debt Free Starts in Your Teens 

This is advice for young people to avoid the worries that debt can create in their future. The concepts are simple, and the only complication is being disciplined. And if you are a parent, pass these recommendations along to those you love.

​When I was a 12-year-old kid way back in 1962, my favorite treat was a Hostess Cup Cake, that chocolatey, icing-covered, cream-filled cake with the white twirls on top. I would slowly eat the icing on the cake’s circumference, then save the biggest creme-filled bite for last! I didn’t enjoy it very often because money was tight. Back then, a Hostess Cup Cake only cost 12 cents, but that equates to $1.26 in today’s inflated dollars. My mother’s waitress’s income was not sufficient to raise six children, let alone spend it on frivolous items like cupcakes times six children!

Today, I find Hostess Cup Cakes cost as much as $2.50! That’s double what inflation would explain. However, this tasty treat has been replaced by others; and although I can now afford them, the price seems high (with my knowledge of seemingly cheaper times) helping me avoid the temptation. But financially, buying a $5 chocolate chip cookie or cinnamon roll is a non-issue for me. I can buy them without financial guilt, only caloric shame.

Understanding the Value of Money
 
Where am I going with this? The cost of items you may desire should not be measured in dollars alone, but in the alternative uses of that dollar, AND the percentage of dollars you have available to spend on any purchase.
Think of dollars as water. The deeper the water, the more money you have. If your money is a small puddle, then removing a cupful will be noticed. If, on the other hand, you have a swimming pool of money, you could remove 100 bucketfuls and not notice the loss. Those are the extremes to illustrate the example of water as money.

My mother barely had a puddle of water in terms of money. Even removing spoonful would be noticed, and if not used to relieve debt or feed her children – it would be misspent. I, in turn, escaped the turmoil of my youth, and performed simple but important acts to build wealth, i.e. a deeper pool of money. Here’s how.
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Lifestyle Choices and Financial Discipline
 
According to a study by the Brookings Institute, in order to not be poor takes three simple acts:

1. Finish High School.
2. Get a full-time job.
3. Wait until age 21 to marry and have children.

My mother did none of these steps, and worse, she married at 16 years of age to a man nine years her senior, who decided not to take care of his family. On the other hand, I unknowingly followed the advice of the Brookings study and went even further.

1. I not only finished High School, but received a scholarship, due in part to my financial need, receiving a college degree.
2. I joined the US Air Force right after college. A full-time job.
3. I didn’t marry or have children, until I was 25 years of age.

I was now able to build wealth or deepen my pool of water (assets) towards a large bucket of water from a puddle. But I didn’t have wealth immediately. I could have spent every dime on a decent home, a few essentials, and fun; but my bucket of money would have remained only a bucket.
Creating Wealth
 
To save money and create wealth requires taking and being faithful to these actions.

1. Know where your money is going. Have a budget and stick to it.
2. Make saving any amount a priority. The more, the better!
3. Save using automatic transfers to an interest bearing account or investment. You won’t miss it if you never see it.
4. Find ways to increase your income through working smartly and education.
5. Be disciplined. Have fun for sure! But be wise.

Too many young people don’t bother to fill their financial vessel, whether it’s a bucket, a bathtub, or a small swimming pool. With the steps above and persistence, their buckets can fill their bathtub, and their bathtub can feed into their modest but growing swimming pool of wealth. Sure, it takes time, but the rewards are well worth it.
 
Parental Guidance and Support

Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's financial habits. Here are a few ways parents can support their teens in becoming debt-free:

• Lead by Example: Demonstrate responsible financial behavior and share your experiences and lessons learned.
• Encourage Open Discussions: about money matters, budgeting, and financial goals.
• Provide Resources: Offer books, articles, and online resources that teach financial literacy.
• Set Up Savings Accounts: Help your teens set up savings accounts and guide them in managing their finances.

 
Conclusion

Being debt-free starts with making informed and disciplined financial decisions from a young age. By understanding the value of money, building a strong financial foundation, and adopting practical steps to save and invest, teenagers and young adults can pave the way for a financially secure future. Parents can play a vital role in guiding and supporting their children on this journey. Remember, financial freedom is not about having a large income but managing the income you have wisely. Start early, stay disciplined, and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with being debt-free.
I’m not ‘yacht’ wealthy, but I am ‘new car’ wealthy, meaning I can’t but a yacht. That would empty my modest but sufficient pool of water (wealth). But I could buy a new car and not be in financial trouble. And most of us can reach a ‘new car’ level of wealth without being super-smart or a talented entrepreneur. Assuming you are healthy and loved, there is no better feeling than being debt-free!
 
Michael Byron Smith

Note: To read more about my childhood and escape, read my book; A Vagabond Life: A Memoir of Father Hunger (#avagabondlife).
To learn about the power of being a father, read my book; The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs (#powerofdadhood).
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Nine Simple Yet Difficult Rules for Parenting

1. Be your child’s biggest advocate.
2. Find balance in your parenting.
3. Be involved with your children’s lives, but not too involved. (see #2)
4. Be a fun parent when appropriate. Be stern, when necessary. (see #2)
5. Be loving and show it—but have strict boundaries for behavior. (see #2)
6. Be consistent with rules and consequences, but don’t be totally inflexible. (see #2)
7. Never argue with your spouse in front of your children, nor use them as tools.
8. Treat all your children fairly, but you can’t treat them all the same. They’re individuals.
9. Remember that your child trusts what they see in you more than what you say.

An important consideration

Every child benefits by having two parents/guardians. Every measure and statistic support this statement. Often single parents, mostly mothers, are offended by this comment when they need not be. Most single parents are heroic in doing the job of two. Often, being a single parent is not a choice, yet children need the love and perspective of both a male and a female. Seek the help of a friend or relative to fill that void if it exists. (see #2)

My mother was married but raised six children alone. And while no family can follow these rules perfectly, it was impossible for my mother. She did her best without the help of my father. We all had to deal with the consequences of that situation; and there were many.
 
Michael Byron Smith
Author of “The Power of Dadhood” and the “Helping Fathers to be Dad’s” Blog (MichaelByronSmith.com)

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​You can read more helpful articles on parenthood at Michael Byron Smith's Helping Fathers to Be Dads blog.
 
Helping your kids stay engaged and learning at home has always been important. But after the kind of year we all had, it’s never been so essential. Whether your children are participating in remote learning, attending school in-person full-time, or doing a hybrid of the two, it’s safe to say that things are different since the pandemic rolled into the picture. To help harried parents everywhere, Michael Byron Smith offers the following ideas on how you can keep your kids entertained and educated through indoor activities at home:
 
Turn to art.
 
One of the most fun and engaging ways for children to spend time is through art! Whether it’s crafting, painting, sewing, drawing or working with clay, give your children the opportunity to explore their creativity. You can even sign them up for online art classes so they can get some extra instruction or inspiration.
 
Decorate your home.
 
Decorating may not sound like the most fun thing for your children. But it’s a great way for them to strengthen their organizational skills. And if you involve them in the process of picking out decorations, they might find that it’s a great way to use their creativity. Whether it’s Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or general seasonal decorations, get with your kids to come up with a plan, and head online to find whatever you need. Then, set aside time on the weekend to put on some music and transform your home!
 
Make reading an hour a thing.
 
In an age when we are surrounded by technology, sometimes it can be refreshing to unplug and take time to read a book. Schedule reading time with your kids where everyone takes turns reading aloud. There’s no end to the different books out there for all ages, and reading is a fundamental activity for learning and development. If you want to add an incentive to reading, consider looking at reading tablets so they can have a wealth of books at hand.
 
Order some classic games.
 
Remember the classic games like Monopoly, Scrabble, Go Fish, and Uno? Board games and card games like these can provide hours of fun and education for your kids. For example, Monopoly (or Monopoly Junior) can teach your children math and money-management skills. Scrabble (or Scrabble Junior) can help your children develop a stronger vocabulary.
 
Moreover, card games like Go Fish and Uno are fun for teaching younger kids about numbers and patterns. You might have these games laying around the house, but if you don’t, you can order them from any number of online stores and have them shipped straight to your door.
 
Allow gaming.
 
Yes, that’s right—let your kids participate in online gaming. This doesn’t mean to allow unlimited screen time in your household. But in moderation, gaming can yield a variety of cognitive benefits for children, such as improved concentration, memory, coordination, and problem-solving skills. While gaming can provide your kids with a break from schoolwork and chores, certain games can even help them learn and strengthen their social skills. If you decide to let your children pick up online gaming, however, make sure you have an internet connection that’s up to the task.
 
Spend time building.
 
Building challenges are another great way for kids to learn while having fun. Legos come in a variety of forms, from standard sets to themed sets like Star Wars, Disney princesses, and Marvel. Some of the primary skills that can be sharpened through building challenges and free play include problem-solving, creativity, and fine motor skills. Furthermore, if you want to foster your kids’ patience, hand-eye coordination, and manual dexterity, set up a Jenga challenge.
 
If your family is spending more time in your home these days, it’s important to have some fun and educational activities that you and your children can engage in. Remember to try online gaming, decorate your home, and read books more often. Pull out the old board games and card games, and have your kids do a Lego and/or Jenga challenge from time to time. Just because your children’s school year looks a lot different than in years past doesn’t mean that they can’t keep learning in entertaining ways.

Appreciation to Lacie Martin of Raise Them Well for this article.
 

My father was not a good father. I learned much about fathering by watching him and, when I became a dad myself, I tried to do every fatherly act he didn't do.

​I still loved him and longed for his attention as a boy. Knowing the magnitude and impact of the loss of fatherly advice, guidance, and simple attention, I wrote notes and observations on fatherhood for my extended family. These observations became a book, "The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs."

I want to pull some lines from my book, giving you an idea of my passion for the importance of involved fathering. I'd then like to share some quotes on fathering from other authors, famous people, and great minds as further encouragement, hoping they will give depth and meaning you the most important role a man can have.


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From: "The Power of Dadhood"

On a father's mission and attention:

"No man is a failure who has helped a child, especially his own. The greatest single gift a man can give his children is his attention. It seems so simple, but somehow it is lost in its simplicity. There is no excuse for not trying your best to be a good father. There are reasons, obstacles, and hardships, but no excuses."

On Helping Fathers to be Dads:

"While some men thrive naturally as fathers, there are too many who don't, and the results can be disastrous. We must not judge these men because we don't know what they've been through, how they were raised, or how they see things as a unique personality. But they could use a mentor, especially if their father was not there for them."

Learning from other dads:

"I learned so much from my father. I learned from him that I needed to get an education. I learned that people would judge me by my actions and react to me according to my attitude. I learned the importance of reliability and trust. These things I learned from him because he demonstrated how difficult life can be without them."

Impact on Society:

"Almost all of society's ills can be traced to people whose family lives were in turmoil. Often the turmoil started with an absent or uncaring father."

The Truth:

"You are the only true father your children will ever have, but you are not alone. Your children are waiting for you. Their mother is longing for your help. Society is cheering for your success. Fathers who are true Dads are always ready to talk to you."
 
Fatherhood quotes from authors, leaders, and great minds:
 
"But there's no substitute for a full-time dad. Dads who are fully engaged with their kids overwhelmingly tend to produce children who believe in themselves and live full lives." Tony Dungy
 
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." Sigmund Freud
 
"As an educator, I've seen the positive influence that fathers have on their children." Nicoline Ambe, Being Dad
 
"My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn't have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don't be afraid to fail." Sara Blakely
 
"When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed." Lou Brock
 
"Being a father is about adaptation and about making the most of the opportunities that are given to you." Colin Adams, Parenting for New Dads
 
"A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men." Gregory E. Lang
 
"Being a father is the most rewarding thing a man whose career has plateaued can do." Aristotle
 
"Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person." Naveen Jain
 
"Listen, there is no way any true man is going to let children live around him in his home and not discipline and teach, fight and mold them until they know all he knows. His goal is to make them better than he is. Being their friend is a distant second to this." Victor Devlin
 
"It is a wise father that know his own child." William Shakespeare
 
 "The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent." Frank Pittman
 
"Being a father means you have to think fast on your feet. You must be judicious, wise, brave, tender, and willing to put on a frilly hat and sit down to a pretend tea party." Matthew Buckley, Fatherhood: The Manliest Profession
 
"...that the most precious things a father can provide are time, attention, and love." Tim Russert, Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons
 
"Fatherly love is the act of giving your life for the sake of someone else's needs." Nate Dallas, Hacking Fatherhood: Preparing For Success in the Biggest Role of Your Life
 
"No amount of money can be paid for the relationship between a father and his sons and a father and his daughters." Willie Williams, 7 Steps to Parenting Power
 
"My father taught me that the only way you can make good at anything is to practice, and then practice some more." Pete Rose
 
"Studies show that when a baby, child, or teenager has a good father, that child will soar." Meg Meeker, MD
 
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." Mark Twain
 
"One of the greatest needs of this age is for responsible and committed fathers." Bishop Charles Edward Blake Sr.
 
Summary

Thank you for your interest in fatherhood, or 'Dadhood' as I like to call fatherhood with involvement, mentoring, nurturing, and demonstrating love.
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Dadhood = fatherhood + nurturing + demonstrated love
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