Photo of granddaughter by author
Your kids are malleable. They have their inborn dispositions towards life and living, but they certainly can be molded by people and ideas. Obviously, it’s the parents that have the most leverage guiding their children - as it should be. We may disagree with how other parents do their job, but as long as they are not cruel, evil, or unbearable, it’s not our place to judge. For instance, I would not raise my children as Mennonites do, but I certainly respect their customs and beliefs. I have no right to criticize.
In our busy lives, especially when our children are young and we struggle to support them appropriately, we leave our children to others to teach a myriad of things. For the most part, this all well and good! A variety of views and exposure to those with different strengths is an advantage. But it is essential to know what they are being taught when you, the parent, are not involved.
Our values vary regarding religion, customs, and politics at a minimum. When others meet your values, there are no issues. However, there will be those that your children come into contact that have differing values. You should be aware of those things to the degree you care, and you should certainly care.
To give examples, I use my values, not expecting anyone to agree with all or any of them. Many will not, and those folks would not want me passing my values to their children. Just remember the title and not my specific examples below.
I want teachers to teach my kids HOW to think, not WHAT to think. Is that too much to ask? If you’re going to be involved in your children's education and lifestyle choices, then be knowledgeable of their reading and social media, know their friends, and understand what is being taught in their school - from preschool to college. They will eventually make up their own minds as they should. However, you have a right as a parent to let them know your views and agree or disagree with the others who impact their lives. Remember the title, even if you disagree with my values.
#powerofdadhood
Please consider my book, The Power of Dadhood
In our busy lives, especially when our children are young and we struggle to support them appropriately, we leave our children to others to teach a myriad of things. For the most part, this all well and good! A variety of views and exposure to those with different strengths is an advantage. But it is essential to know what they are being taught when you, the parent, are not involved.
Our values vary regarding religion, customs, and politics at a minimum. When others meet your values, there are no issues. However, there will be those that your children come into contact that have differing values. You should be aware of those things to the degree you care, and you should certainly care.
To give examples, I use my values, not expecting anyone to agree with all or any of them. Many will not, and those folks would not want me passing my values to their children. Just remember the title and not my specific examples below.
- Some schools and social sites are teaching that objectivity is racist – that everything is subjective. In other words, there are no facts, just opinions. Since I believe in both objectivity and subjectivity, I would want my children to know the difference, not that objectivity doesn’t exist except for racists. See if it is being taught to your kids, whether you agree or not.
- Our federal government says it is fair and legal for a biological male who identifies as female to compete physically. I believe that it is unfair for biological females. I want to discuss my reasoning for my view with my children. If others validate this principle, I want to know this, or it may never occur to bring it up. Left alone, I would think the explanation is unnecessary
- The Smithsonian had an exhibit that said Success Principles are White principles. Punctuality, hard work, initiative, Standard English, planning for the future were all White values. In fact, a Black child that studies would indicate that they wanted to be White. To be honest, I thought this was fake news, but it was real. Any Black parent that does not believe these Success Principles only belong to Whites must speak up
- There are areas in the progressive community that say biology isn’t ‘real’? I don’t want that taught to my children or grandchildren.
- Many schools are teaching the 1619 Project. Countless historians have noted this as having many inaccurate conclusions. It states that US history began in that year when slaves were brought to the future USA. This project disavows our founding fathers, and 1776 as our nation’s birth, claiming the US was built because of and only for slavery. While slavery was sadly apart of US history, it ignores the fact that slavery was rampant everywhere since Biblical times. It also ignores the Constitution’s contributions and the fact that America has grown as a positive force for the world. I want to know if my children are taught 1619 history. You should, too, so you can judge for yourself and for your children.
- I value any life. But I also appreciate what we have in the United States that makes so many others want to come here. To do immigration the best way for all, including past immigrants, we must do it in an organized manner. Organization and control will not exist with open borders. And it can be made worse by promising things to potential immigrants who don’t want to go through a legal process. That’s my view. I want my children to know my opinion because others will tell them their logic. I do like them also to know that legal immigration will make America stronger!
- A professor has designed a litmus test for eight degrees of White Privilege. I don’t want anyone to be a racist, but to categorize Whites in degrees blames all. And anyone who is Black cannot be a racist because you have to have ‘privilege’ to be racists. I believe this is more divisive than inclusive. While true White Supremacists exist, the term has exploded to include people who don’t actively fight for people of color. While I support people of color in all endeavors, I do not carry signs and protest in person. But some would say I’m racist because fighting it is not on my daily agenda. If you want this taught to your children or not, be aware it is out there.
- I don’t want my children or grandchildren to think Lincoln and many others were bad for America. When children see their statues torn down or schools renamed, it teaches them that their contributions should not be appreciated. I would not let my children go to a school that took Lincoln’s name off the building. If there is a legitimate grievance about his legacy, include it with the wonderful deeds he accomplished, like ending slavery. Kids cannot fathom the circumstances these demeaned men and women (see Dianne Feinstein) worked within.
- Equity is not the same as equality, but even our Federal government is teaching this. Everyone should have equal rights, access, and opportunity. But equity means the same outcome for all. There are situations in health and disabilities, for instance, where we strive for equity. But there should not be equity (equal outcome) for grades, sports, or any true and fair competition. I want my children to understand this and the differences.
- I believe in the strength of the nuclear family. Others do not. Disney has dropped Kermit the Frog for crimes against certain groups - really? Some think having to show your work in Math is racist. Why? Lucky guesses or cheating will not get children anywhere. Seattle schools teach that treating everyone the same is racist. Maybe there are reasons not to treat everyone the same. I don’t treat my kids the same because they are different. But when you do treat people the same, I don’t believe racism is usually involved.
I want teachers to teach my kids HOW to think, not WHAT to think. Is that too much to ask? If you’re going to be involved in your children's education and lifestyle choices, then be knowledgeable of their reading and social media, know their friends, and understand what is being taught in their school - from preschool to college. They will eventually make up their own minds as they should. However, you have a right as a parent to let them know your views and agree or disagree with the others who impact their lives. Remember the title, even if you disagree with my values.
#powerofdadhood
Please consider my book, The Power of Dadhood
