MichaelByronSmith: The Power of Dadhood
  • Home
  • Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads
  • Dadhood Book
  • Photos
  • About Me
  • A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger

A Stranger in Spain - ​Childhood Revisited

3/11/2019

0 Comments

 
PictureThe Mezquite (mosque) in Cordoba, Spain
​My wife, Kathy, and I are visiting Spain. Fortunately, Kathy has a cousin who is living and working in southern Spain near the town of El Puerto de Santa Maria, very near where Columbus sailed out of - and into - the ocean blue in 1492 (or so). She kindly met us in Madrid where we caught a train first to Cordoba, a medium sized city with busy streets, and a historic district named the Judeira. The main attraction in Cordoba is the Mezquite (mosque). The Mezquite was built by the Moors, but after they were driven out, the Christians took over this amazing building constructing a gorgeous Christian church within in it. Then, we would be onto Cadiz, Seville, and back to Madrid on our own!

But this is not a travel guide. It’s what I found out about myself and it applies to most of us, but especially children. Annette, Kathy’s cousin is not fluent in Spanish but she can get around quite easily. She directed us from the Madrid airport to the rail station, had already bought our train tickets, and had reservations ready in Cordoba. After settling in, she asked the front desk, in Spanish, places to eat. We choose a restaurant and the menu was in Spanish so she ordered for us. You see where I’m going?

Now, Kathy and I are no strangers to visiting foreign countries on our own. We’ve been to Norway, Italy, and even Barcelona--two days prior to a cruise. We did just fine. Many tourist areas in Europe have plenty of English speaking citizens, which helps. But Annette was doing everything for us…and I let her! It was easier on me and quicker for all of us. But I wasn’t getting my bearings, picking up phrases or interfacing with the local populace. I was dependent on Annette. I acted and felt dependent, and while it was painless, it didn’t feel good. That didn’t stop me from going down the easy road. What’s worse, she wouldn’t be with us our entire trip so I wasn’t preparing to be on my own, neither was Kathy.

I had reverted to childhood and Annette was my pseudo-mother, taking care of Kathy and me. She was just being very helpful. The trouble is that mothers and fathers fall into the trap of being too helpful to their children when they do everything for them. And most children will go right along! (But not my 3 year-old granddaughter! Very independent!).  I have two daughters and they have always pushed their kids to do things on their own. For instance, they will tell their 3, 4, and 5 year-old children to order their own meals in a restaurant (waiters and waitresses are usually very patient). They get dressed on their own. They have to pick up after playing (not always enforced if in a play area). This prepares them to be independent and unafraid. The easier the road ahead for a kid, the worse it is for their development. Someday soon, they will have to act on their own, hopefully with confidence and politeness!

My first few days in Spain, I reverted to childhood and I really didn’t like the feeling or results. The same will be true of your children if you don’t build some knowledge and independence in them. Every day is like being a foreigner in Spain when you’re a kid who hasn’t been shown the ropes. Don’t let that happen to your kids.

Summary


  Catching a train,
  in Spain,
  may be in vain, 
  
if you abstain  
  from using your brain,  
  and that would be insane!
  And yes, it did rain (a bit).
​

  Also............


  Try to forbid,
  doing too much for your kid!

0 Comments
    Click on cover to order! 
    Picture
    A review of "The Power of Dadhood" by About.com
    100 Top Daddy Blogs - Healthy Moms Magazine
    Picture
    Picture
    ​daddy blogs

    Subscribe to MichaelByronSmith: Helping Fathers to be Dads - Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads

    Subscribe in a reader
    'Helping Fathers to be Dads' Facebook page

    Archives

    May 2025
    January 2025
    August 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2011

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin
    Visit Michael's profile on Pinterest.

    Categories

    All
    Accomplishment
    Activities
    Adolescence
    Adulthood
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Attention
    Babies
    Balance
    Baseball
    Basketball
    BLM
    Books
    Boys
    Charity
    Checklist
    Child Custody
    Children
    Choices
    Christmas
    Clouds
    Communication
    Competition
    Confidence
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Creed
    Crime
    Dads
    Decision Making
    Discussion
    Diversity
    Divorce
    Eclipse
    Education
    Environment
    Equity
    Ethics
    Fairness
    Families
    Family
    Fatherhood
    Father Issues
    Fathers Day
    Finance
    Fire-safety
    Flying
    Free Speech
    Games
    Gangs
    Girls
    Goals
    Gold-star-families
    Guest Article
    Guns
    Happiness
    Harry Chapin
    Holidays
    Honesty
    Humor
    Ideology
    Integrity
    Interview
    Lesson
    Lies
    Life
    List
    Loss
    Lottery
    Love
    Marriage
    Memories
    Memory
    Men
    Mentoring
    Mistakes
    Motherhood
    Mothersday
    Nature
    News
    New Year
    Normies
    Nuclear Family
    Outdoors
    Pain
    Parenting
    Perfection
    Personality
    Pesonality
    Photography
    Poem
    Poverty
    Principles
    Racism
    Risk
    Ryan
    Sacrifice
    Safety
    Self Help
    Social Influencers
    Social Media
    Society
    Spain
    Sports
    Statistics
    Story
    Success
    Summer
    Teen Pregnancy
    Tools
    Travel
    Video
    Violence
    Woke
    Working At Home
    Worry

Web Hosting by iPage