Category: Christmas

Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

12/14/2023

My grandchildren Dec 2016

With Christmas nearing, parents’ attention turns to thoughts of ‘what do we get the kids?’ If we’re honest, it rarely has anything to do with whether they were naughty or nice. More likely, it has to do with ‘competition’! Competing for their favor or trying to keep up with what their friends have or will be getting. Or, maybe your gifts are based on guilt. Guilt for not spending enough time with them or for being too self-obsessed.

Yes, what your kids get for Christmas can be based on how naughty or nice you have been, not your children!

We have seen good parents and bad parents. Where do you stand on this scale of effective parenting? Whatever the answer, how you perform as a parent is not likely to change much unless you are truly interested in changing and are persistent in your efforts. So let us take a look at some naughty or nice parental criteria and think about how we raise our children.

A Parental ‘Naughty or Nice’ List

You show your love for your children - nice!
You’re over committed outside the family – naughty!
You give one-on-one attention to your children – nice!
You don’t really always listen when your kids talk to you – naughty!
You comfort your kids when appropriate – nice!
You and your spouse don’t agree on how to raise your kids – very naughty!
You’re tough on your kids when you need to be – nice!
You praise your children’s efforts and rejoice when they are persistent – nice!
You forget your children are watching you – naughty!
You say what you will do and do what you say – very nice!
You think you know it all when it comes to parenting – naughty!
You teach your children know how to set and meet goals – nice!
You teach your children to be self-reliant and responsible for their actions – nice!
You remember to have time to yourself, to reenergize - nice!
You have an open mind toward things you don’t understand – nice!
You love being a parent – nice!

Check this list twice, and find out if you're naughty or nice!

These are just a few of the things that most of us would consider naughty or nice as we raise our children. But all of us are naughty and nice to some degree. What we hope for is to be working towards being nicer and away from naughty. What is important to remember is to not buy your children’s love or make up for your shortcomings through expensive gifts. This and every Christmas, if you indeed celebrate Christmas, be sure to remind your family of its deeper meaning. And the wrapped gifts you give should pale in comparison to the love you have shared with every child.

#powerofdadhood

Original version published Dec 2016

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What I Really Want for Christmas!

12/6/2023

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Wishing all families be whole this Christmas season and forever more!

Photo: M.Smith

Originally written on 12/22/2014

As a kid, I remember being so excited about Christmas morning that I could barely sleep, tossing and turning all night on Christmas Eve. My brothers, sisters, and I would wake up early, usually before the sun rose, and our mouths would be as wide open as our eyes when we saw what was under a usually scraggy tree. All the presents were open before you could ask “how did Santa get in without a fireplace?” A mountain of wrapping paper covered the floor. Even though we didn’t have much money, we always seemed to have a nice Christmas one way or the other. There are many to thank for that, especially my Mom!

Then as an adult, when our kids were young, my wife and I would make sure they were asleep on Christmas Eve before making multiple trips up and down the stairs to gather all their presents and put them under the tree, hoping we could get a good night’s rest. We were a little tougher on our kids, not letting them tear into the presents right away. On Christmas morning, we (mostly my wife, Kathy) made them take turns opening their gifts so each present and each kids’ reaction were more appreciated. After a couple of Christmases like that, they cooperated nicely.

Photo: A McLellan

Now I’m a grandparent. It’s not about getting presents any longer, and we can sleep later because the grandkids come over after opening Santa’s presents at their own homes. However, we made a special request for Santa to bring some of their presents to our house.

I can’t wait to see our six year old and one year old granddaughters, and our two year old grandson opening gifts at our house. The look of excitement on the faces of little children as they rip open presents is one of life’s true joys! And yes, we ask that they take turns but, hey, they're little. Then after all gifts are open, the kids play in the boxes! On that basis, I was always good for numerous cheap presents thinking the kids don't know the difference under five years old and the act of tearing off wrapping paper was the true joy!

However, Christmas season is not just for children, it’s for families! It’s a reason to be together, to make new memories, to love and be loved, and to get to know each other just a little more. That’s what it is supposed to be like…and it is for most of us. But Christmas can also intensify whatever troubles there may be within a family.

If a member of the family, who you miss very much, is not with you on Christmas--you miss them more than ever. If there is turmoil in a family, Christmas can help to relieve that turmoil, or make it worse. Yes, Christmas is a very tough time of year for many families.

I have progressed in my wishes for Christmas over the years.

At six--a cowboy hat and a toy pistol/holster combo.
At sixteen--a mustang convertible, red with a white top.
At twenty six--a house of our own and kids.
At thirty six--suffering for all my enemies.
At forty six--World Peace!
At fifty six—retirement!
Note: I retired at 57, not bad! I'm 73 now and loving my family, and so missing my wife, who we lost 21 months ago.

I hit the jackpot at age six! The others Christmas wishes had to wait a little while, or I’m still waiting. But now I have a new wish.

So what do I really want for Christmas now that I have seen a few years? I want for other families what I am fortunate enough to already have. I want ALL families to be whole, with a mom and a dad, and throw in a few loving grandparents if possible. I want ALL kids to have good parents. I want ALL parents to have good kids with bright futures, who will become good parents themselves in a never-ending cycle of whole, mostly happy, productive families.

Hummm, sounds like I’m back to World Peace. Well, it never hurts to dream!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Photo: M. Smith

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‘Twas the Night Daddy Saved Christmas!

12/12/2022

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'Twas the Night Daddy Saved Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,
And this is no joke.
The kids were excited.
And the parents were broke!

The fireplace was gas,
And no keyhole in sight.
No way for Santa,
To come in tonight!

The children were worried!
How would Santa get in?
To place presents under the tree,
Set up in the den.

Dad, they asked puzzled,
What should we do?
To get in safely,
Santa will, for sure, need a clue.

Dad scratched his head slowly.
And gave it some thought.
“How can Santa get credit?
For the presents I bought.”

The lights in the tree
Had gone out again.
Dad said some bad words,
That made us all grin.

“I’m sorry”, said Daddy.
For those words that I said.
Let me think for a minute
While you get ready for bed.

He thought as he checked out
A new Christmas light strand.
Then “Eureka!” he said.
I now have a plan.

Write Santa a note,
And place it in the yard.
I’ll give him directions,
That won’t be too hard.

The note will tell him,
“Open the garage door”.
With a secret code for the combo,
That he can’t ignore.

The list he keeps has birthdays,
I’m certainly hopin’.
By entering your ages,
The garage door will open.

Malia is oldest,
That would be seven.
No tight chimney for Santa,
Will be just like heaven!

Ryan is second.
His age is three.
How much easier for Santa,
Can this possibly be?

Rosie is next.
Her number is two.
Not much else
For Santa to do.

Juliette is one.
The last code Santa needs.
To do another,
Of Santa’s good deeds.

Seven, Three, Two, One.
Are the numbers to enter.
Santa will be thrilled.
He’ll remember this winter.

Our daddy’s a genius!
Our presents will be here.
But having a daddy who helps us,
Will make our Christmas this year!

Merry Christmas!

Michael Byron Smith
12/24/2015

#powerofdadhood

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A Six-Year-Old Christmas on Steroids!

12/16/2019

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What kid doesn’t like Christmas? My four grandchildren certainly do, but I have a 6-year-old grandson, Ryan, who is crazy for the Christmas SEASON! Yes, I said season! He started his celebration on or before November 14th when he serenaded me on his toy guitar, singing Christmas tunes (see video below). The Thanksgiving turkey was still warm when his excitement accelerated faster than my Tesla. He was ready for the decorations, Christmas Specials, snow, music, and especially the spirit of it all. His grandmother, charged up with his enthusiasm, decided to invite Ryan and his 4-year-old sister Juliette to help us put up our tree – way too soon for my liking. They came over, dressed in Christmas jammies with Ryan donning a Santa hat.

As Christmas music played in the background, Ryan and Juliette decorated the bottom third of the tree. Then, Ryan noticed the imbalance and brought a stepladder over, whistling and swinging his head back and forth, shoulder to shoulder to “One Horse Open Sleigh.” Kathy (grandma) laid a Christmas cover at the bottom of the tree, and Ryan exclaimed, “That’s a new one, Yady! (Kathy’s grandma name – long story). I remember last year it was a green one with gold trim.” Indeed, he was correct. I would never have noticed. They slept over and spent the night watching Christmas shows on Netflix and slept with red and green lights on dim.

Of course, their Christmas tree had not yet been decorated, so Ryan and Juliette begged their parents to put it up. The next time we went to his house Ryan, with a big reveal, showing it all with pride, bouncing up and down on his toes as he gave us the grand tour, grinning from ear to ear. It was beautiful, decked out with their favorite ornaments hung with care with only one or two ornaments having fallen. Their tree even rotates, and below is a train that circles with smoke and a whistle, operated by – guess who? One day after school, Ryan wrote a six page book entitled, “How to Decorate a Christmas Tree” – self illustrated!

On our annual Cookie Day, their cousins, Malia and Rosemary, joined Ryan and Juliette - all wearing holiday pajamas. More Christmas music, Ryan dancing to “Jingle Bell Rock,” and all decorating cookies. My two daughters and their husbands had holiday parties to go to that evening, and all four kids stayed overnight. It was a long day! The kids were all into the Christmas spirit and I wondered, “Do they know there are three more weeks to go?”

That night we watched the movie, “Elf” and the kids laughed with glee at the huge elf trying to take a shower in the elf-size shower. Kathy had gifts for them to open, ornaments from Europe where we had just traveled, slippers and more PJs, holiday-themed, of course. Already, presents! Ryan bragged about how many places there would be for him to open presents. He counted five locations, which included our farmhouse, where the entire family celebrates Christmas Eve. I told him I was lucky if I ever had five presents to open, forget five locations! Every year Ryan makes sure we play Christmas Bingo at the farmhouse (B-elf, G-Christmas Wreath, O-ornament, etc.), and the winner gets a “Dollar Store” present. All the kids love it!

Kathy and I watch Ryan and Juliette before school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One morning they were so excited to show us what they had in their rooms! Their parents had bought each of them a four-foot Christmas tree. They had decorated them to their particular tastes and couldn’t wait to show them off. Two days later, when we went back, Ryan had set up an Alexa Echo under his tree and would listen to Christmas music each morning as he got dressed – and more Christmas music when he got home. Yady helped the kids to make a Christmas chain out of red and green construction paper, starting with 22 links. I was a bit surprised they had waited this long. Every day Ryan wears a red shirt to school to celebrate the season. Yady spoiled him with two more new red shirts to augment his wardrobe.

Ryan and Juliette couldn’t wait for Cha-Cha to show up. That’s their name for their ‘Elf on a Shelf.’ Now, when we come in the mornings, Ryan and Juliette race to show us where they found him that morning. Ryan pretends he’s an Elf with the name ‘Elmo’ and Juliette’s (4 yrs) is ‘Chuck E. Cheese’. Ryan even has a sign on his bedroom door announcing whether the Elf is ‘in’ or ‘out’.

They got to see Santa a couple of days ago - major highlight! Christmas morning will be ‘Crazyville’! Now mind you; there are nine more days before Christmas Day. Remember how long nine days were when you were a kid? Ryan seems to not care for the wait; after all, the SEASON will be over, and what fun is that?

His birthday is New Years’ Day. His parents are so happy it’s only a week of anticipation!

Merry Christmas!
Oh, and don’t forget to check out Ryan’s singing, below!

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Twelve Days of Christmas with My Good Wife : )

12/9/2019

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Our 2019 Christmas

The Smith Christmas Tree

I love Christmas! Let me be specific; I love Christmas Day! The days leading up to Christmas can be a bit tense and exhausting for both my wife, Kathy, and me, but for different reasons. At Christmastime, she is the lead reindeer. I, as the reindeer behind the lead, find myself in an unfortunate position!

Kathy does most of the work for Christmas. It’s true! She does ALL the shopping, and that’s fine with me. I can’t be trusted to find what’s on sale, and coupons are so much work. I can’t even shop for her. My record of buying what she really likes is around 1 for 132. She also doesn't like my fallback gift, gift certificates.

Kathy truly does almost all the wrapping too. I’ve been told I waste too much wrapping paper. I try to explain that an extra 1” by 30” strip of wrapping paper bought at the Dollar Store isn’t going to wipe out our savings. Trying to follow Kathy’s wrapping rules, I always seem to come up 1/8” short when I pull the paper to the top of the box. Then I have to re-purpose that wrapping paper on a smaller present. And I’m kind of sloppy with my wrapping. Oh, and I learned long ago never to put tape on the box – just the paper.

We have every Sears, Kohl’s, Target, and Marshall's box we ever brought home. They fall from the top shelf of our utility room closet every time I open it. You never want to run out of boxes for presents; any day they could stop giving them out for free. BTW, the tape can tear those boxes making them almost throwaway-able.

We let our grand kids decorate one on our four trees. At 11, 6, 6, and 4 years of age, most ornaments end up on the bottom half of our eight-foot tree. The younger three kids don’t have the spacing thing down - four ornaments on one branch, and none on others. After they go home, I ‘get to’ re-arrange them.

Lights! I hate them! I refused to put them up outside a few years ago. Bah humbug! It’s just that they don’t cooperate with me. In past years, I actually cried when they would only work inside when I checked them, but not when I put them back outside. Even the tree’s dark spots have to be filled in with new lights each year on our pre-lit tree. Kathy places a few lights outside while she curses me under her breath. But I always end up out there fixing them, yet again, anyway!

With that introduction, here is my ode to Christmas with my good wife, borrowing the 12-Days theme.

12 Days of Christmas with My Good Wife!

On the first day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please bring all four* Christmas trees upstairs” Here we go!

On the second day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put (rearrange) the ornaments on the tree, would you.” Notice the lack of a question mark.

On the third day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find an extension cord.” Never where we think they are!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“‘Help me’ put up the Christmas lights.” HA!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please…fix - the - lights!” (again)

On the sixth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put up Christmas Village.” all 12 houses, tiny people, props, and fake snow.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Check the cookies before they burn.” I eat 5 of them.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go get the wrapping paper.” Last years' , behind 5 suitcases, four boxes, and 2 large trash bags of something.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Help me wrap the presents.” Later she says…”Nevermind!”

On the tenth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find the ‘To-From” stickers. You moved them." (I didn't)

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go buy some egg nog and a wreath.” Or something - each day.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Do I have to do everything?!”

Merry Christmas!!

Note: Kathy rarely reads my blogs, so please don’t tell her about this one, even though I’m exaggerating - a little! : )

* 3 are smaller trees

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Christmas and the Grinch That Hated Christmas Lights

12/21/2018

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Christmases Past

As a kid, my siblings and I had nice Christmases even though we were poor. A few were supplemented with kind members of a nearby church. But with the help of relatives and my mom prioritizing over other needs, we always had gifts to open and Christmas mornings were a joy!

Between my late teens and becoming a parent, Christmas is kind of a blur because no small children were there to forge a memorable impression. That all changed when my wife and I became parents. Again we got into the wonder of Santa, Rudolf, elves, and presents. Our kids picked up on Christmas traditions like reindeer automatically know how to fly. We were excited about them being excited and looked forward to Christmas morning almost as much as they did. However, not all was merry and bright!

I confess that I was not as enthusiastic about decorations and the hoopla of Christmas season as my wife, Kathy, especially the many weeks prior. The day after Thanksgiving, Kathy wanted to put up the tree. I wasn’t quite in the mood yet, but I lugged it up, griping, and put on half the ornaments. I never really liked wrapping presents nor did Kathy like the sloppy and wasteful way I did it. My biggest gripe about the Christmas season as an adult is Christmas lights! I now refuse to put them up after many years of aggravation with those little bulbs of terror that never seemed to work for any length of time. I had too many wasted hours hanging them up and having them fail over and over again. I would work myself into a terrible mood when it took up half my day in the cold to get them repaired only to do it again a week or less later.

Now, I feel a little guilty because Kathy decorates the door and bushes herself, quietly (sometimes) angry (always) that I won’t help. Sure enough, this year she has had to fix or replace the lights at least four times. I don’t know how long she will put up with the aggravation that she shows - but won’t admit to. If I give in to hanging or fixing the lights, I will be stuck forever allowing my Christmas to be less than enjoyable, baa humbug! I would happily settle for a spotlight shining on a wreath on our door to show our holiday cheer. Yes! I’m a terrible husband for my stance! Note: Our kids were way past believing in Santa before I stopped harassing and being harassed by Christmas lights.

But all the preparation and work on Christmas morning, mostly by Kathy, seemed to be more than worth it watching our kids open presents which, by the way, came with rules. Kathy insisted the kids take turns opening their presents, one at a time. That never happened when I was a kid, but I liked the rule. Eventually, they grow up, and the magic that comes with little children disappears - no eyes the size of saucers, no screaming or jumping up and down. No little girls in brand new pajamas with missing teeth, or little boys wearing new cowboy boots in their underwear. It becomes a nice, but relatively unexciting, day of controlled present unwrapping and polite words of thanks when only adults are involved.

Then come the grandchildren! The excitement returns! They want to help you with your ornaments and trimming, which triples the time it takes to decorate! Afterward, they want to play with everything shiny and new, breaking some. Hiding presents is necessary once more. Wondering what they might want is a chore (again, Kathy) and buying too much is a given.

I still don’t like wrapping presents and putting up lights! My wife doesn’t like the Grinch in me. But we do have new traditions along with the old ones. For instance, cookie day is a must for my wife, daughters, and kids. I help as a photographer, taste tester, and bowl-licker. My primary responsibility comes on Christmas Eve when the extended family gets together for dinner and fun at our family farmhouse (which I decorate without lights). In the days prior, I look for inexpensive gifts, mostly from the Dollar Store, and wrap them as prizes for the kids who win rounds of Christmas Bingo. The first one who gets five elves - or sleigh bells - or wreaths, in a row, wins a present to open. The older kids help the younger kids, and they get such a kick sharing the excitement with younger siblings and cousins.

Yes, Christmas can bring a lot of joy and a causes a lot of angst. I give credit to my wife for the joy it brings to our grandchildren, and I thank her! But it will take a Christmas miracle or new technology for me to give in to the hell of Christmas lights. We just can’t seem to get along!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Christmas has always been a mixture of emotions, changing with the circumstances of your life. One constant has been the absolute joy of kids and Christmas morning. Of course, the birth of Jesus is why Christmas exists at all, and the holiday has certainly has become too commercialized. But the joy of Christmas includes the smiles of children around the world. Certainly their smiles would make Jesus smile also.

PS. My book, "The Power of Dadhood" may be a thoughtful present for Dad!

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Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

What I Really Want for Christmas!

‘Twas the Night Daddy Saved Christmas!

A Six-Year-Old Christmas on Steroids!

Twelve Days of Christmas with My Good Wife : )

Christmas and the Grinch That Hated Christmas Lights

Archives

Categories

​Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

What I Really Want for Christmas!

‘Twas the Night Daddy Saved Christmas!

A Six-Year-Old Christmas on Steroids!

​Twelve Days of Christmas with My Good Wife : )

​Christmas and the Grinch That Hated Christmas Lights

Archives

Categories

Naughty or Nice? Parent Edition

Twelve Days of Christmas with My Good Wife : )

Christmas and the Grinch That Hated Christmas Lights