Our 2019 Christmas
The Smith Christmas Tree I love Christmas! Let me be specific; I love Christmas Day! The days leading up to Christmas can be a bit tense and exhausting for both my wife, Kathy, and me, but for different reasons. At Christmastime, she is the lead reindeer. I, as the reindeer behind the lead, find myself in an unfortunate position!
Kathy does most of the work for Christmas. It’s true! She does ALL the shopping, and that’s fine with me. I can’t be trusted to find what’s on sale, and coupons are so much work. I can’t even shop for her. My record of buying what she really likes is around 1 for 132. She also doesn't like my fallback gift, gift certificates.
Kathy truly does almost all the wrapping too. I’ve been told I waste too much wrapping paper. I try to explain that an extra 1” by 30” strip of wrapping paper bought at the Dollar Store isn’t going to wipe out our savings. Trying to follow Kathy’s wrapping rules, I always seem to come up 1/8” short when I pull the paper to the top of the box. Then I have to re-purpose that wrapping paper on a smaller present. And I’m kind of sloppy with my wrapping. Oh, and I learned long ago never to put tape on the box – just the paper.
We have every Sears, Kohl’s, Target, and Marshall's box we ever brought home. They fall from the top shelf of our utility room closet every time I open it. You never want to run out of boxes for presents; any day they could stop giving them out for free. BTW, the tape can tear those boxes making them almost throwaway-able.
We let our grand kids decorate one on our four trees. At 11, 6, 6, and 4 years of age, most ornaments end up on the bottom half of our eight-foot tree. The younger three kids don’t have the spacing thing down - four ornaments on one branch, and none on others. After they go home, I ‘get to’ re-arrange them.
Lights! I hate them! I refused to put them up outside a few years ago. Bah humbug! It’s just that they don’t cooperate with me. In past years, I actually cried when they would only work inside when I checked them, but not when I put them back outside. Even the tree’s dark spots have to be filled in with new lights each year on our pre-lit tree. Kathy places a few lights outside while she curses me under her breath. But I always end up out there fixing them, yet again, anyway!
With that introduction, here is my ode to Christmas with my good wife, borrowing the 12-Days theme.
12 Days of Christmas with My Good Wife!
On the first day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please bring all four* Christmas trees upstairs” Here we go!
On the second day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put (rearrange) the ornaments on the tree, would you.” Notice the lack of a question mark.
On the third day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find an extension cord.” Never where we think they are!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“‘Help me’ put up the Christmas lights.” HA!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please…fix - the - lights!” (again)
On the sixth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put up Christmas Village.” all 12 houses, tiny people, props, and fake snow.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Check the cookies before they burn.” I eat 5 of them.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go get the wrapping paper.” Last years' , behind 5 suitcases, four boxes, and 2 large trash bags of something.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Help me wrap the presents.” Later she says…”Nevermind!”
On the tenth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find the ‘To-From” stickers. You moved them." (I didn't)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go buy some egg nog and a wreath.” Or something - each day.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Do I have to do everything?!”
Merry Christmas!!
Note: Kathy rarely reads my blogs, so please don’t tell her about this one, even though I’m exaggerating - a little! : )
* 3 are smaller trees
Kathy does most of the work for Christmas. It’s true! She does ALL the shopping, and that’s fine with me. I can’t be trusted to find what’s on sale, and coupons are so much work. I can’t even shop for her. My record of buying what she really likes is around 1 for 132. She also doesn't like my fallback gift, gift certificates.
Kathy truly does almost all the wrapping too. I’ve been told I waste too much wrapping paper. I try to explain that an extra 1” by 30” strip of wrapping paper bought at the Dollar Store isn’t going to wipe out our savings. Trying to follow Kathy’s wrapping rules, I always seem to come up 1/8” short when I pull the paper to the top of the box. Then I have to re-purpose that wrapping paper on a smaller present. And I’m kind of sloppy with my wrapping. Oh, and I learned long ago never to put tape on the box – just the paper.
We have every Sears, Kohl’s, Target, and Marshall's box we ever brought home. They fall from the top shelf of our utility room closet every time I open it. You never want to run out of boxes for presents; any day they could stop giving them out for free. BTW, the tape can tear those boxes making them almost throwaway-able.
We let our grand kids decorate one on our four trees. At 11, 6, 6, and 4 years of age, most ornaments end up on the bottom half of our eight-foot tree. The younger three kids don’t have the spacing thing down - four ornaments on one branch, and none on others. After they go home, I ‘get to’ re-arrange them.
Lights! I hate them! I refused to put them up outside a few years ago. Bah humbug! It’s just that they don’t cooperate with me. In past years, I actually cried when they would only work inside when I checked them, but not when I put them back outside. Even the tree’s dark spots have to be filled in with new lights each year on our pre-lit tree. Kathy places a few lights outside while she curses me under her breath. But I always end up out there fixing them, yet again, anyway!
With that introduction, here is my ode to Christmas with my good wife, borrowing the 12-Days theme.
12 Days of Christmas with My Good Wife!
On the first day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please bring all four* Christmas trees upstairs” Here we go!
On the second day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put (rearrange) the ornaments on the tree, would you.” Notice the lack of a question mark.
On the third day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find an extension cord.” Never where we think they are!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“‘Help me’ put up the Christmas lights.” HA!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Please…fix - the - lights!” (again)
On the sixth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Put up Christmas Village.” all 12 houses, tiny people, props, and fake snow.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Check the cookies before they burn.” I eat 5 of them.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go get the wrapping paper.” Last years' , behind 5 suitcases, four boxes, and 2 large trash bags of something.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Help me wrap the presents.” Later she says…”Nevermind!”
On the tenth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Find the ‘To-From” stickers. You moved them." (I didn't)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Go buy some egg nog and a wreath.” Or something - each day.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my good wife said to me,
“Do I have to do everything?!”
Merry Christmas!!
Note: Kathy rarely reads my blogs, so please don’t tell her about this one, even though I’m exaggerating - a little! : )
* 3 are smaller trees
