MichaelByronSmith: The Power of Dadhood
  • Home
  • Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads
  • Dadhood Book
  • Photos
  • About Me
  • A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger

​Writing is a Lot Like Life

2/28/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
"Your attitude today determines your success tomorrow”
~ Keith Harrell in his book, “Attitude is Everything”

‘Attitude is Everything’, the title of Harrell’s book, is a bit of hyperbole because you could also say ‘persistence and determination are everything’, or ‘vision and goal-setting are everything’, or ‘passion is everything’, etc. But given literary license, attitude is way up there when it comes to self-development…or writing.

I had a wonderful opportunity to talk to a large group of students at Troy Buchanan High School in Troy, Missouri yesterday. It was a part of ‘Writer’s Week’ and I received an invitation thanks to the recommendation of a good friend. I was asked to read a few passages from my book and talk about my struggles. Well, I’ve had some struggles as a writer and did talk a bit about that. But my struggles as a writer were/are minimal compared to my struggles developing a positive attitude as a young man.

I may have drifted a bit from what the students and their teachers were expecting. I expanded greatly from discussing writing to contemplating life, i.e. one’s responsibilities to contribute to their own success. (See my previous article, “If You Want X, Then You Must Y”). Since I was asked to speak for forty-five minutes, time permitted me to expand. And because I only write to allow me to get the message of fatherhood and strong families across, my knowledge of writing likely pales to what they hear from other, more successful and experienced, writers.

My attitude as a young man did not suffer so much from being negative towards others. My negative attitude was towards myself! As I explained to these inspiring students, I suffered from shyness, insecurity, a lack of confidence, and lack of a guiding hand.  That’s a lot of negativity! But a couple of goals and a passion for them pulled me through, eventually bringing me out of the darkness.

Why would I express my former weaknesses so openly? Because long ago I wish someone had told me how to get out of that crippling negativity. Brenda Ueland, in her book “If You Want To Write”, wrote…”I have said that art is generosity, i.e., you tell somebody something not to show off but because you want to share it with them”. More than anything, writing is sharing. That’s why you publish your work. Of course, you can write for yourself, such as a diary, but you are not bound by the same rules of writing.
Picture

​Writing is like life 

Writing is like life. In retrospect, I should have told that to the students of Troy Buchanan. Referring to my speech to them, I discussed listening, risk-taking, responsibility, persistence, planning, effort, patience, and courage. Those are all important in life, but they are also very important in writing!

While I could have discussed research, style, use of the English language, structure, or character development, Troy Buchanan has a writing teacher that will more than adequately cover those essential topics. I chose to discuss subjects that will, hopefully, not only help the students that continue to write, but those who will become contributors to society in a myriad of other ways.
 
My speech was called “Beginnings". Its message being that an early and informed beginning in any venture will be a tremendous advantage and positive start to success. Contradicting that advice, my modest career in public speaking began only three years ago - and I am old enough to qualify for Medicare. My forte is not public speaking. Therefore, I learn so much from every speaking opportunity. I learn from the faces I am speaking to and the feedback which helps so much, giving me an attitude of hopefulness and enthusiasm.

​A young student stopped me after the speech and told me she understood my message, having suffered some of the same experiences, and thanked me - one student out of one hundred and fifty. Understandably, the final bell had rung and everyone was scurrying to buses and cars. Her gesture alone was enough to encourage me to continue my mission of helping families help themselves - and to help young writers. That was everything to me!

​Writing is a lot like life - Life is what writing is about.
​
Thank you Troy Buchanan High School!

1 Comment

Stop and Smell the Caution!

2/13/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Parenting is exhausting! Fighting toddlers who have amazing resilience, keeping up with schoolwork, teaching manners, interacting, softball, music lessons, a gazillion birthday parties, and having an adult life somewhere in between…whew! Now multiply that with two, three, or four kids, a job, limited income, personal demons, and only 24 hours in a day!

I’ve only scratched the surface of challenges facing a parent, especially a single parent. So it’s not too difficult to imagine that we can miss some things. In my book, The Power of Dadhood, I talk about challenges faced by fathers, kids, and the family unit. One of the challenges all three encounter is time. Not just having time for one’s self, but having time available for everyone in the family at the same time.

This introduction above is intended to give you some pause to reflect on the more time-intensive,  less tangible tasks of motherhood and fatherhood, i.e. shaping and preparing an individual - an individual very important to you - for life and success. It is essential for a parent to know their child’s strengths and weaknesses. Parents are on the front line in this endeavor and are usually the most concerned and hopeful for their children.

While teaching kids to clean up after themselves, eat their peas, and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, you can’t just stop there. But many parents do often stop there for the reasons of being so busy. Like the tourist attraction in your town that you never go to because you can go tomorrow, the similar is true for teaching your children life lessons. Somehow the opportunity (tomorrow) rarely comes.

Picture
​An article I wrote “Confidence or Determination”, is an example of giving thought to helping a child, your child, who lacks something you can hopefully correct. In my article, the weaknesses are ‘confidence’ or ‘determination’. What happens if your child has one and not the other, or lack both! Other areas to watch for are fear, peer pressure, and attitude. All people, let alone kids, are impacted by these human qualities.

This article will not give you more time. There is only so much to go around. A 24 hour day will not grow to 25 hours nor will 12 months in a year become 13 months. What you can do is evaluate and prioritize! Stop and smell the cautions that you may be ignoring. I hope you can take three to four minutes to read “Confidence or Determination” with gratitude to Dr. James Sutton, a Child Psychologist and founder of “The Changing Behavior Network
”, who allowed me to publish on his forum and giving professional credibility to my thoughts.

0 Comments

Misplaced Anger, Forgotten Priorities

2/2/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
This little girl, given a loving family, can help fix many of the ills of our society!
There seems to be a lot of anger, angst, and protesting going on these days. The good news is that we live in a country where protests are possible and encouraged. The bad news is much of it is hyped up and misplaced. It doesn’t matter if it comes from the left or the right. Why do I say protests are often hyped and misplaced? Because they are. Hyped by the rhetoric the feeds those that are like-minded, misplaced because the real issues that should generate action are ignored. Let’s narrow it down and use two controversial subjects, gun rights and abortion, as examples.

Guns for sport and hunting are really not a problem to anyone save a few extremists. But guns for protection, real or imagined, are more controversial. Similarly, having an abortion when the mother is at serious risk, or if she was raped, is understandable. But having an abortion because you made a bad decision, or think you cannot mentally, socially, or fiscally handle a child, is very controversial.

Here’s what I say. If we put all our energy into helping families to stay together, there would be far less need to have a weapon to protect ourselves from the consequences of fatherless families. If we put all our energy into incentivizing families to stay together instead incentivizing them to be apart, there would not be kids looking for love in all the wrong places. Instances of controversial abortions would be drastically reduced.

I see marches and protests these days being more about fear than any tangible rights for which to fight. Fear of losing what you have or want - I get it! But guns, school choice, abortions, rights for LGBTQIA, all pale to the real problems in America. The real problems all stem from broken homes, lack of mentors, getting even with someone or some group instead of getting above the fray for the good of all.

Another example. Helping a foreign family come to the US to escape harm, sickness, or death is a no-brainer. But in an atmosphere where terrorists will try any trick in the book to get their foot in the door to our destruction adds a complication. The percentages of bad guys are small, but the consequences of their action are huge, so innocent immigrants and refugees pay the price of the bad guys’ intentions. The highest responsibility of the US government is to protect its citizen’s. Each side has arguments that are worth hearing.

I care about immigrants, especially those that have become citizens in accordance with our laws. But what about the natural born citizens of our inner cities or poor towns in rural America? I would guess there are an embarrassingly large number of US citizens that live in worse situations than some immigrants have seen. Refugees fleeing war, not of their making, are in a different situation. They need help from the rest of the world. However, we have wars going on in our own streets for which we are directly responsible. Directly responsible because we want fewer guns, or fewer abortions, or more cops instead of doing that which is necessary to remove the desire for handguns, the desire for abortions, or any need for more cops.

We want equal rights for the LGBTQIA community, fair and good! But if we had a “KTFT” (Keep The Family Together) community that had the ratio of “hype compared to the number people impacted” power that the LGBTQIA community has, we would likely solve 80% of our drug, crime, poverty, and out-of-wedlock issues in two or three generations.

Lost children and adults from non-functional families frequently use drugs to escape their plight or soothe their anger. Drugs bring crime because drugs cost money and drug offenders often don’t work or have money for basic needs due to their habit. Crime chases away businesses and jobs. Poverty sets in. The idleness of ‘not working’ causes more concentration on sex, drinking, drugs and partying. More sex and drinking brings children into the world with just a wisp of a chance to escape the challenges that caused their birth. The cycle of poverty, drugs, crime, out-of-wedlock births, health issues, and anger just continues, over and over!

So I am tired of the protests of anger and fear. I’m ready for action! Action in the form of a concentration of ideas and methods that will turn around the destruction of families in our country. I guarantee that in any area that has a large number of broken families, you will see the troubles I described above. Actions to address family breakdown doesn’t happen because too many of us have our little corners to protect, our pet projects that fit our belief systems, forgetting that a combined effort to make families whole and self-sufficient would take care of almost every corner and destroy the causes of the arguments that divide us. It won’t be easy to stop the genesis of all our problems, but what a waste of energy to ignore it. Our lowest level of social organization is the family. The genesis of our problems is the breakdown of the family!
​
Yes, support of family and family values are in my corner, in every corner!
0 Comments
    Click on cover to order! 
    Picture
    A review of "The Power of Dadhood" by About.com
    100 Top Daddy Blogs - Healthy Moms Magazine
    Picture
    Picture
    ​daddy blogs

    Subscribe to MichaelByronSmith: Helping Fathers to be Dads - Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads

    Subscribe in a reader
    'Helping Fathers to be Dads' Facebook page

    Archives

    May 2025
    January 2025
    August 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2011

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin
    Visit Michael's profile on Pinterest.

    Categories

    All
    Accomplishment
    Activities
    Adolescence
    Adulthood
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Attention
    Babies
    Balance
    Baseball
    Basketball
    BLM
    Books
    Boys
    Charity
    Checklist
    Child Custody
    Children
    Choices
    Christmas
    Clouds
    Communication
    Competition
    Confidence
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Creed
    Crime
    Dads
    Decision Making
    Discussion
    Diversity
    Divorce
    Eclipse
    Education
    Environment
    Equity
    Ethics
    Fairness
    Families
    Family
    Fatherhood
    Father Issues
    Fathers Day
    Finance
    Fire-safety
    Flying
    Free Speech
    Games
    Gangs
    Girls
    Goals
    Gold-star-families
    Guest Article
    Guns
    Happiness
    Harry Chapin
    Holidays
    Honesty
    Humor
    Ideology
    Integrity
    Interview
    Lesson
    Lies
    Life
    List
    Loss
    Lottery
    Love
    Marriage
    Memories
    Memory
    Men
    Mentoring
    Mistakes
    Motherhood
    Mothersday
    Nature
    News
    New Year
    Normies
    Nuclear Family
    Outdoors
    Pain
    Parenting
    Perfection
    Personality
    Pesonality
    Photography
    Poem
    Poverty
    Principles
    Racism
    Risk
    Ryan
    Sacrifice
    Safety
    Self Help
    Social Influencers
    Social Media
    Society
    Spain
    Sports
    Statistics
    Story
    Success
    Summer
    Teen Pregnancy
    Tools
    Travel
    Video
    Violence
    Woke
    Working At Home
    Worry

Web Hosting by iPage