Category: Travel

36 Quick Suggestions for Your 2024 Attitude

12/27/2023

My granddaughter, Malia, reading when she was 11

For the New Year 2024, I hope the best for everyone. Most of it is up to you! This includes doing your best to be better no matter if it’s saving money, being a parent, or exercising. Of course, you can’t be the best at everything but you can have an great attitude! Here are some suggestions for your 2024 attitude. You don’t actually have to do these things (we can’t), but you can feel this way inside. Just think of John Travolta in the opening scene of “Staying Alive”. If that doesn’t put a bounce in your step, nothing will.

If you don’t like any of these suggestions, use your own. If you have your own thoughts on 'being like', let me know them in the comments section and I may publish them.

So......

Sing like Whitney Houston
Dance like Fred Astaire
Laugh like Eddie Murphy
Walk like John Travolta
Play like a child
Love like Mother Theresa
Pray like Billy Graham
Give like Bill Gates
Cook like Julia Childs
Inspire like Dale Carnegie
Share like Winnie the Pooh
Rock like The Rolling Stones
Swim like Michael Phelps
Run like Carl Lewis
Teach like Jesus
Be happy like Happy (one of the Seven Dwarfs)
Travel like Rick Steves
Read like my 15-year-old granddaughter
Climb Mountains like Sir Edmond Hillary
Write like Ernest Hemmingway
Build like the Egyptians
Play tennis like Serena Williams
Fly like Chuck Yeager
Exercise like Richard Simmons
Paint like Rembrandt
Design like Da Vinci
Invent like Edison
Lead like Churchill
Sleep like Rip Van Winkle
Be calm like Buddha
Study like a monk
Take photos like Ansel Adams
Ride like the Pony Express
Act like your know what you’re doing
Imagine like Elon Musk

36. But still be your best self!

#Powerofdadhood

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The Decay of American Grit – Fear of the Unlikely

8/23/2021

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My 6 yr old granddaughter jumping off a cliff.

Fear can be a lifesaver. Fear can also be a burden that reduces our life experiences and our chances for a full life. I had a fear of worms as a child and shied away from fishing. Consequently, I felt some shame. When I became older, I had a fear of leaving the United States, until I did, then finding it one of the most rewarding activities I have ever known. My fear of water was a huge, keeping me safe until I learned to swim at eight years old. After this, rivers, lakes, pools became fun adventures and pastimes.

Unnecessary fear grips many of us as we watch events on the news, not realizing that what we are watching may be real, but magnified and laser-focused almost without exception. This focus gives a false impression of the danger to us and our loved ones. A bridge collapses and you now fear crossing bridges, not considering that death by a bridge collapsing is astronomically uncommon. This magnification makes an unlikely incident seem likely. If you magnified a drop of common drinking water, you may never drink water again because, like a bridge collapse, you are seeing ugly things you normally don’t see.

Alternatively, we may not be aware of some unworthy risks because they do not have the scrutiny we get from our outside sources. Some may take certain drugs, not knowing the danger. Even prescribed drugs have danger. We have a 1 in 92 chance of dying of opioid abuse in our lifetime. Knowing this, you can reduce your odd to zero if you choose. We often ignore or choose to be ignorant of the risks for things we want to do.

In recent years, with expanding technology and social media, we have taken the woes that used to be suffered by a few and shared the pain amongst all of us through shared knowledge. When the shared pain reduces the severity of the few, by taking certain actions, it is a good thing. But when that pain becomes a burden without proper reasoning or positive results, it hurts the innocent far more than it helps the burdened.

As old people often say, “In my day, we did this and that.” It sounds trite, but it is true! In my day, some aspects of daily life were worse, but some were better. While the good things in life often come from technology, making our world safer and more comfortable, many of the bad things come from social influencing and lack of understanding of risks or statistics.

Risk consists of two components, likelihood and consequence. When we focus on the consequence more than the likelihood, we may miss opportunities like a life saving operation where death from the operation is one in a thousand. On the other hand, if we focus on high likelihood of a consequence, but the consequence is very low, like striking out in a baseball game, we miss out on competition and experiences.

If you can’t handle a one in a thousand risk here and there, you’re going to have a boring life. Yet many shy away from potential joy or gain when a risk is one in a million, or less. But that is certainly your choice! It may help, however, to spend some time analyzing common risks we take every day. Would you do something where the odds of dying from this thing in your lifetime are 1 in 100? Maybe not, but if you don’t, you will never ride in a car. Actual odds of injury or death for certain activities can be seen on the National Safety Council website.

https://injuryfacts.nsc.org/all-injuries/preventable-death-overview/odds-of-dying/

As stated by NSC, “Fear is natural and healthy. It can help us respond to danger more quickly or avoid a dangerous situation altogether. It can also cause us to worry about the wrong things, especially when it comes to estimating our level of risk.
If we overestimate our risk in one area, it can lead to anxiety and interfere with carrying out our normal daily routine. Ironically, it also leads us to underestimate real risks that can injure or kill us.
It can be difficult to accurately assess the biggest risks we face. Plane crashes, being struck by lightning, or being attacked by a dog are common fears, but what about falls, the danger inside a bottle of pills, or your drive to work?”

I think it important for parents to have a handle on risks, rewards, natural fears, and unhealthy fears when raising their children. Knowing the risks of certain activities, regarding both likelihood and consequence, is helpful and imperative for you and your children’s happiness and safety! Some parents are risk averse and may cheat their children of fun and learning, while others are overly risk tolerant, sacrificing too much safety. There is a middle ground which may vary for each family and person. And vary it does!

Michael Byron Smith
Author of “The Power of Dadhood”

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The Danube River: Beauty, History, and Family Inspiration

11/13/2019

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The Danube in Austria

My wife, Kathy, and I are now completing a river cruise on the Danube. Amazing sights and new memories to enrich our lives. Each region was beautiful, with natural and architectural beauty, rich history, arts, various cultures, etc. I wondered how I could take advantage of this experience and relate it to my retirement mission of Helping Fathers to be Dads. Let’s see what I learned from our visits.

Prague, Czech Republic

Prague, Czech Republic is where my wife and I flew into Europe before our tour down the Danube. Prague is a large medieval city of ancient buildings, multiple spires, rolling hills, and breathtaking views. Walking the streets reminded me of how families in Europe walk their towns and villages with their children. Toddlers in bright clothes, bundled up in the crisp fall weather. Babies in strollers with blankets tucked around them, the eyes of the little ones scanning their world and people walking by. Parents and children exploring or merely spending time together are ordinary, especially on weekends - a European tradition.

Thought: Of course, strollers can be seen in America also, but mostly when visiting zoos or amusement parks. Not often will you see an entire family strolling in their neighborhoods or town centers together. Family time in America is spent on various scheduled activities, too often separate from each other.

Passau, Germany

Passau, Germany, is small, a picturesque town in Bavaria that draws millions of visitors each year. It is known as "City of Three Rivers" because the Danube is joined there by the Inn from the south and the Ilz from the north. This unique situation is why its first inhabitants settled there over 5000 years ago. The emerald green waters of the Inn River meet the Danube, while not quite blue, can look a bit turquoise at certain times when the sun is out. The Ilz River is the smallest of the three. All three rivers merge making them a blend of the characteristics of each but stronger together.

Thought: Similar to the three rivers of Passau, the rivers of a family (father, mother, and children) are different on their own, but create a fourth identity together, and hopefully flow together as one, strongly-united, family.

Gottwieg Abby

Lenz, Austria, was home to Gottwieg Abbey. The views from the mountaintop, where the Abbey, built centuries ago, are bucolic and breathtaking. Views of the wine fertile Wachau Valley, the Danube, nearby forests, the patchwork of vineyards, and the town of Krems are laid out for miles below. The Abbey itself is ornate and a testament to the dedication of the monks who vow never marry and to live a simple, prayerful life in this beautiful location their entire lives.

Thought: The dedication of the monks to their purposeful life, and to their beautiful Abbey, remind me of the commitment required to have a nurturing and comfortable family life. With a devotion to family and comfort in their homes, any family will have serenity in their future, if not their daily lives.

Vienna, Austria, a city of culture and coffee houses, is very busy and classy! Art, food, history, and music fill the air! Church bells ring, visitors shop and take photos, and everyone stops in the numerous coffee shops to warm up from the crisp, fall weather with a pastry, and maybe an expresso. We interrupted our scenic walking tour and ordered Café Americano and the best apple strudel I ever tasted as we met and conversed with new friends!

Thought: Every family should find time for joy and conversation, creating memories and experiences common to all. It will draw everyone in the family into a common bond that will last, providing cherished traditions to the following generations.

Modern and old, Bratislava, Slovakia

Bratislava, Slovakia, was once behind the Iron Curtain as part of Czechoslovakia. This city of a few hundred thousand suffered in decay during four decades under Communist rule, but now much is new with skyscrapers and low unemployment. While under communism, there was no growth, little freedom, and no ability to travel outside the Iron Curtain. For forty years the citizenry was robbed of their ability to express themselves or to work to improve their situation. With the fall of the Iron Curtain in 1989-90, those under 50 years of age had never know freedom and a plurality of choice. The stories of our guides who lived under the Communist regime brought the reality of our good fortune to have escaped that hopeless and bleak experience.

Thought: Parents must let their children understand history to put into perspective the hope and dreams that are available to them. These gifts are often taken for granted; and seem self-evident rights we all should have, but have come at considerable costs.

The Parliament Building, Budapest Hungary

Budapest Hungary is a city perfect for romance. At night, this city shines with golden lights on bridges and buildings with architecture that proves beauty is worth time and expense. The Danube glimmers as it reflects the thousands of lights of the city, separating the formerly separate burgs of Buda and Pest. Budapest is one of the crown jewels of Europe, but also with tragedy in its past. Having been invaded by the Nazis of Germany and Communists of Russia, death, and torture were common. Today’s Budapest recovered and now thrives once more as Hungary’s capital and as a tourist mecca, but has not forgotten these disastrous times.

Thought: We can only hope tragic events never touch us, but no family can escape tough times. Sometimes only time can ease the pain. As tough as it may be, families coming together will help. Mostly, the tough times will be behind us with communication, cooperation, and understanding. Don’t allow small issues to grow into lasting conflicts.

Summary
Maybe my travel/family analogies were stretched a bit, but Kathy and I had a memorable and educational trip sailing down the Danube. It is incomprehensible to imagine all that has occurred throughout the centuries on every square meter we touched. One thing is common to all those past societies, centuries, and locations; everyone came from or belonged to a family. There are those individuals who failed despite having a supportive family and other individuals who flourished without a supportive family. But most people succeed, as best they can within their time and place, with the support of friends, and especially family.

Breakfast on the Danube

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A Stranger in Spain - Childhood Revisited

3/11/2019

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The Mezquite (mosque) in Cordoba, Spain

My wife, Kathy, and I are visiting Spain. Fortunately, Kathy has a cousin who is living and working in southern Spain near the town of El Puerto de Santa Maria, very near where Columbus sailed out of - and into - the ocean blue in 1492 (or so). She kindly met us in Madrid where we caught a train first to Cordoba, a medium sized city with busy streets, and a historic district named the Judeira. The main attraction in Cordoba is the Mezquite (mosque). The Mezquite was built by the Moors, but after they were driven out, the Christians took over this amazing building constructing a gorgeous Christian church within in it. Then, we would be onto Cadiz, Seville, and back to Madrid on our own!

But this is not a travel guide. It’s what I found out about myself and it applies to most of us, but especially children. Annette, Kathy’s cousin is not fluent in Spanish but she can get around quite easily. She directed us from the Madrid airport to the rail station, had already bought our train tickets, and had reservations ready in Cordoba. After settling in, she asked the front desk, in Spanish, places to eat. We choose a restaurant and the menu was in Spanish so she ordered for us. You see where I’m going?

Now, Kathy and I are no strangers to visiting foreign countries on our own. We’ve been to Norway, Italy, and even Barcelona--two days prior to a cruise. We did just fine. Many tourist areas in Europe have plenty of English speaking citizens, which helps. But Annette was doing everything for us…and I let her! It was easier on me and quicker for all of us. But I wasn’t getting my bearings, picking up phrases or interfacing with the local populace. I was dependent on Annette. I acted and felt dependent, and while it was painless, it didn’t feel good. That didn’t stop me from going down the easy road. What’s worse, she wouldn’t be with us our entire trip so I wasn’t preparing to be on my own, neither was Kathy.

I had reverted to childhood and Annette was my pseudo-mother, taking care of Kathy and me. She was just being very helpful. The trouble is that mothers and fathers fall into the trap of being too helpful to their children when they do everything for them. And most children will go right along! (But not my 3 year-old granddaughter! Very independent!). I have two daughters and they have always pushed their kids to do things on their own. For instance, they will tell their 3, 4, and 5 year-old children to order their own meals in a restaurant (waiters and waitresses are usually very patient). They get dressed on their own. They have to pick up after playing (not always enforced if in a play area). This prepares them to be independent and unafraid. The easier the road ahead for a kid, the worse it is for their development. Someday soon, they will have to act on their own, hopefully with confidence and politeness!

My first few days in Spain, I reverted to childhood and I really didn’t like the feeling or results. The same will be true of your children if you don’t build some knowledge and independence in them. Every day is like being a foreigner in Spain when you’re a kid who hasn’t been shown the ropes. Don’t let that happen to your kids.

Summary

Catching a train,
in Spain,
may be in vain,
  if you abstain
from using your brain,
and that would be insane!
And yes, it did rain (a bit).

Also............

Try to forbid,
  doing too much for your kid!

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36 Quick Suggestions for Your 2024 Attitude

The Decay of American Grit – Fear of the Unlikely

The Danube River: Beauty, History, and Family Inspiration

A Stranger in Spain - Childhood Revisited

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36 Quick Suggestions for Your 2024 Attitude

The Decay of American Grit – Fear of the Unlikely

The Danube River: Beauty, History, and Family Inspiration

A Stranger in Spain - ​Childhood Revisited

Archives

Categories

A Stranger in Spain - Childhood Revisited