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​Tools are the Best Gift a Parent Can Give a Child!

11/30/2023

2 Comments

 
PictureNot all tools are metal and wood. Some are skills to be understood.
Did you ever use a butter knife for a screwdriver - or a shoe for a hammer? I have! They don't work as well as the real tools.

I once interviewed for a job I wanted very much. I was qualified but I didn't get it. You know why? I lacked a critical social tool, confidence!


We all know a simple fishing pole can feed someone more often than a coupon at Long John Silver’s. Think about that! A tool, used properly, is a gift that keeps on giving. Once you use the coupon, you're done!

What kind of tools do you ask? 


Having success in as many areas as possible is crucial, because the more tools one has, the more flexibility to adjust. Be aware of where your children may need help – help as in tools, not sympathy, or money, or things. 
​
I'd like to quote a passage from my book, “The Power of Dadhood,” in which I discuss success in five areas. 

From: The Power of Dadhood

In baseball, a “five-tool” player is one who can run, throw, field, hit for average, and hit with power. Few players fit the description of a five-tool player. When they do fulfill their potential in this way, they attain fame and fortune.

Highly successful people also have tools in five areas of success:
  • Financial Success: Not necessarily having a lot of money, but knowing how to manage the money you do have.
  • Relationship Success: Having loving friends and family members who can be counted on in good times and bad, just as they count on you.
  • Intellectual Success: Maximizing your intellect by being open to others, their ideas, and their culture. Always being open to learning. Having confidence, patience, and empathy while understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and those of others.
  • Physical Success: Giving your body and mind the exercise, nutrients, and rest they need.
  • Spiritual Success: Being able to live outside the needs of your ego with love and understanding for people and all living things. {This could be, but not necessarily, through your religion}

Dad Tip:

Being a “Five-Tool Success” isn’t inborn; it’s taught. And while both parents have a good deal to say in teaching this to their children, as Dads we can assess our children’s abilities and objectively help them meet their goals.
​

As fathers, giving our children these tools of success would be our own truest success. Look at each of your children. Which of these five tools does each of them need your help with? It will likely be different for each child. Spend time with each to teach, mentor, and encourage them as they make their way to success.

If you find one tool in which they all need help, it may be related to how they were raised. Hopefully you can recognize their shortcomings even if you have the same issues. To overcome these shortcomings, listen to the trusted advice of others, read voraciously, and practice what you learn. It will help if you can teach your children with the conviction of experience rather than just book learning.

Always remember the #powerofdadhood - and use your power wisely!

Watch out for my new book, "A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger", coming soon on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It is the story of my growing up without a responsible father. This story is the catalyst for my blogs, and the reason I wrote, "The Power of Dadhood". 
Thank You!

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2 Comments

A Thought for Thanksgiving

11/21/2023

5 Comments

 
This article was written nine years ago when my first book, THE POWER OF DADHOOD, was coming out.  Since that time our grandchildren have from toddlers and babies to 3rd, 4th, 5th graders and a high school freshman, my son has retired from 20 years in the Army, and I lost my beloved wife, Kathy, 20 months ago. She absolutely LOVED Thanksgiving. My children, grandchildren, and I miss her so, but we are still thankful for all the love she gave us for so many years!

I loved this photo of Kathy, so I am republishing this Thanksgiving article, which still holds up, in her honor!
PictureMy wife Kathy with the main course!
11/27/2014

To all those who read my blog, I want to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING! And thank you for taking time to read my thoughts on family and fatherhood. What a great time of year it is to rediscover your family and reevaluate how you treat and communicate with each other.

It’s difficult sometimes to be with loved ones, even during the holidays. Many live out of town, some are serving in the military. There are also in-laws to consider for married couples, multiple grandparents, and unfortunately for children, divorced parents and often two homes for them to celebrate. We are stretched to see all, or too far away to see anyone. But reach out however you can to show your love and concern. 


I know of some sons and daughters who call their mother every day, and some mothers who expect and need it. I think that is great that they do this! However, I don’t call my mom every day--not even close, but we have a relationship that does not require that kind communication. My mom has no doubt of my love for her and knows I would be there for her at the drop of a hat. I know she is safe because my brother lives with her and my sister lives within two miles. 

PictureUsually, extra tables are required for large gatherings
I bring this up because you must treat each loved one differently. Some need attention, some are uncomfortable with attention.  Some are easy to be with and others can be difficult to be around. There are also perceived jealousies to deal with and sibling rivalries that come and go while others last forever. 

In light of all these factors, I suggest, that at special times and during certain events, you go one step further than you normally do with relatives and loved ones.

PictureA little touch football before enjoying our dinner.
  • Say “I love you” if you rarely do.
  • If you never hug, do so. If you do hug, hold it just a little longer.
  • Don’t carry any grudges. Forget any current issues while you are together.
  • Recall and discuss good times of the past. Don’t bring up old wounds.
  • Be sincerely interested in everyone and their families.

These are not revolutionary thoughts, just reminders. And while you may say we should be this way at all times, you are right. Realistically, however, we will not. Just go that one step further than you normally do and be thankful for all you have.

Again, I appreciate any and all of the support you have given me. Please recommend my blog and/or upcoming book to any father who is young, new to fatherhood, or seems lost as a dad. Healthy parental-child relationships go a very long way towards happy and successful lives and make events like we have seen this past week, less likely.

PS. Play touch football before eating or you'll NEVER get to it! Enjoy your turkey!

5 Comments
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