Written by Michael Byron Smith
Published by “Helping Fathers to be Dads”
Copyright 2018 by Michael Byron Smith
Introduction
I confess. I have read quite a few self-help books in my day. I needed them at the time, and they truly helped me. Anyone who doesn’t think they need support/guidance has already had plenty of it, or they are fooling themselves and being naive. Unfortunately, I didn’t discover these books until I was fully an adult; a situation made worse because I had no true mentor growing up. Any young person who has or had a mentor is very fortunate, but even if a mentor exists there will be much they can’t or won’t know to teach you. Living a full and curious life is the best teacher, but learning from mentors and books will allow you to get to deeper aspects of life more quickly, allowing for more learning.
Often, self-help books teach lessons that on reflection seem like common sense. But common sense is a ‘basic level of practical knowledge and judgment.’ It only becomes common after we are made aware of it. Sure, there are those that pick up on some things on their own or faster than others, but not everything.
Life can be very difficult. If it were easy, we would cease to grow as interesting people. Yet, some folks are happy with little and never complain, and that’s okay. Others have an abundance of success and are never happy, that’s sad. And, of course, there are most of us in the wide spectrum in the middle. You must choose with honesty where you fall within that spectrum to change if indeed you want to change.
With that introduction, here are some simplified bits of advice on a few key areas of life. Consider this advice to be like a lioness nudging her cubs gently with her nose to go hunt. Once you learn to hunt, you have made great strides toward success, or happiness…and hopefully, both.
Published by “Helping Fathers to be Dads”
Copyright 2018 by Michael Byron Smith
Introduction
I confess. I have read quite a few self-help books in my day. I needed them at the time, and they truly helped me. Anyone who doesn’t think they need support/guidance has already had plenty of it, or they are fooling themselves and being naive. Unfortunately, I didn’t discover these books until I was fully an adult; a situation made worse because I had no true mentor growing up. Any young person who has or had a mentor is very fortunate, but even if a mentor exists there will be much they can’t or won’t know to teach you. Living a full and curious life is the best teacher, but learning from mentors and books will allow you to get to deeper aspects of life more quickly, allowing for more learning.
Often, self-help books teach lessons that on reflection seem like common sense. But common sense is a ‘basic level of practical knowledge and judgment.’ It only becomes common after we are made aware of it. Sure, there are those that pick up on some things on their own or faster than others, but not everything.
Life can be very difficult. If it were easy, we would cease to grow as interesting people. Yet, some folks are happy with little and never complain, and that’s okay. Others have an abundance of success and are never happy, that’s sad. And, of course, there are most of us in the wide spectrum in the middle. You must choose with honesty where you fall within that spectrum to change if indeed you want to change.
With that introduction, here are some simplified bits of advice on a few key areas of life. Consider this advice to be like a lioness nudging her cubs gently with her nose to go hunt. Once you learn to hunt, you have made great strides toward success, or happiness…and hopefully, both.
The ‘How-To’s
Consider this advice, change/substitute what you think may work better for you. Then go hunting for fatter prey.
How to make the Middle Class[i]
Summary
I think these thoughts will help you, even if you’ve heard them before. You likely have heard most and even thought them helpful but moved on without following through. Give yourself another chance. If you do believe in the advice and ignore it, you are missing possibly the most important aspect of success…MOTIVATION. Find it somewhere!
A simplified list like this one can be tacked to a wall or attached with a magnet to your refrigerator as a reminder. Someday, you may look at it at a time when motivation has, mysteriously or not, kicked in. For it takes knowledge and motivation to really move forward.
If a particular topic interests you, it is likely that you will be moved to learn more about it. Extensive material in libraries, book stores, and conveniently, the Internet will help you do research. And there are people and organizations that will help you if you ask. GO DO IT!
Consider this advice, change/substitute what you think may work better for you. Then go hunting for fatter prey.
How to make the Middle Class[i]
- Finish high school
- Get a job
- Don’t get married or have children before you’re 21
- Be poor (but not on purpose!)
- Study with commitment and very diligently
- Know your school counselor (connections are critical)
- Apply for a college scholarship (Most colleges look to balance their student population with deserving students with financial needs)[iii]
- Have Common Sense: think about what you’re doing and the possible consequences.
- Be Measured: not going too far in excess on anything, anyone, or on any matter
- Fairness: be honest, patient, and truthful. Keep your word and be dependable
- Have Courage: stick to your ideals but listen to others
- Be available
- Be loving
- Be consistent
- Be fun
- Have principles.
- Read, THE POWER OF DADHOOD and A VAGABOND LIFE: A MEMOIR OF FATHER HUNGER
- Move around much more often
- Reduce food portions
- Eat fruits and vegetables
- Take vitamins
- See a doctor at least once a year
- Remember you have choices, to change or to accept
- Consider trying a different perspective
- Take responsibility for yourself and your actions
- Find something important you want and work towards it
- Get the best available job that suits your abilities
- Save 5% to 10% of whatever you make no matter how little your salary (YES you can!)
- Don’t let your savings burn a hole in your pocket, have goals
- Find yourself feeling good about what you’ve done and challenged to keep saving more
- Don’t ever over-extend yourself
- Never expect always to be happy!
- Count your blessings. You have more than you think.
- Respect your strengths, improve upon or accept your weaknesses
- Read ‘How to improve your attitude,’ above
- If these fail, you may need to supplement your natural serotonin (see a Doctor)
Summary
I think these thoughts will help you, even if you’ve heard them before. You likely have heard most and even thought them helpful but moved on without following through. Give yourself another chance. If you do believe in the advice and ignore it, you are missing possibly the most important aspect of success…MOTIVATION. Find it somewhere!
A simplified list like this one can be tacked to a wall or attached with a magnet to your refrigerator as a reminder. Someday, you may look at it at a time when motivation has, mysteriously or not, kicked in. For it takes knowledge and motivation to really move forward.
If a particular topic interests you, it is likely that you will be moved to learn more about it. Extensive material in libraries, book stores, and conveniently, the Internet will help you do research. And there are people and organizations that will help you if you ask. GO DO IT!
[i] Only 2% of poor teens who do these things remain poor. https://www.brookings.edu/opinions/three-simple-rules-poor-teens-should-follow-to-join-the-middle-class/
[ii] This is what delivered me from poverty and a cycle of dysfunction
[iii] Not a panacea. Realistically, not everyone has the intellectual or cognitive ability to thrive in school. (15% of the U.S. population has an IQ of 85 or below. Dr. Richard Haier)
[iv] from The Power of Dadhood, published by Familius, LLC
[ii] This is what delivered me from poverty and a cycle of dysfunction
[iii] Not a panacea. Realistically, not everyone has the intellectual or cognitive ability to thrive in school. (15% of the U.S. population has an IQ of 85 or below. Dr. Richard Haier)
[iv] from The Power of Dadhood, published by Familius, LLC
