MichaelByronSmith: The Power of Dadhood
  • Home
  • Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads
  • Dadhood Book
  • Photos
  • About Me
  • A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger

Young Men - Removing Obstacles, Creating Challenges

3/4/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
When left to our own means, most of us would not meet our potential, if not fail outright. This is proven by the millions of us who have come from dysfunctional homes and created dysfunctional homes of our own. Sure, some break out of that cycle but not enough to keep the trend of failure from growing.

We all need guidance in our lives to learn faster, make less mistakes, and develop confidence. If we don’t have wise, loving parents, it becomes tough to compete with those that do. Sometimes we have substitutes for bad or missing parents, but not near enough to solve the problems of our troubled youth. It only takes few geniuses and entrepreneurs to make our lives easier. But it takes a large majority of us to make our society better.

It seems that when adolescents don’t become successful adults, the major reasons are due to opposite extremes. Life has either been too easy for them or life has been too hard. Sometimes life is hard for young people and they look for the easy way out. Up until the last few decades, life has been survival of the fittest. The weak of mind and/or body should always be helped, but the weak-willed or poorly mentored have little positive influence on society. Yet we help the weak-willed to survive without being fit (socially), and we don't help those that need mentoring enough. 
The social burden grows and this puts our future as a country in danger!

Challenge is like a chisel that defines an accomplished human being. Without challenges we are without accomplishment and, therefore, without self-respect. Growing up without good parents is not a challenge, it’s an obstacle. A challenge makes one grow whereas an obstacle prevents one from growing. Adolescents that have had it too easy often need to be challenged to improve - and rarely are. Adolescents, whose life has been difficult need encouragement - and don't know where to find it.

Beginning in the 20th Century, our government started taking over when families fail. The government does not do this well. The government removes many obstacles, but is lacking in presenting challenges and providing encouragement. This last article from “The Father Factor” series discusses placing young men in an environment where they can prosper, meeting reachable challenges.  “During this stage of life, young people crave feelings of usefulness, responsibility and respect, and they long to be part of the adult world.” It’s a way to remove obstacles, introduce challenges, and to be very encouraging! This is the type of program that will bear fruit - like watering an apple tree!

Click on The Deseret News article below:

How apprenticeships can empower fathers and strengthen marriages
0 Comments

Looking Out, Not Down - Introduce Your Children to Photography

1/13/2014

6 Comments

 
Picture
As a caring dad, you look for ways to influence your kids in a positive way. Here’s an idea that I didn’t use when my kids were younger, but I might have if I were a dad of adolescent kids today.

I would introduce them to photography.

In the world of today, what kid over 10 does not have, or have access to a smart phone? I can’t blame kids or adults for being addicted to them. They connect you to others by voice or text, give directions, and provide games to play, the time, weather, music, etc. They even take pictures! But I’m not talking about taking pictures with a phone. I’m talking about photography!

Teaching kids photography is a way to get your kids to look out and not down. All the things a smart phone does requires a focus of about one foot. Even the pictures they take are either at an arms-length or across a room. And let’s face it, they are often ‘selfies’ or pictures of friends acting stupid. I don’t have an issue with selfies or fun photos, but that isn’t really photography.

Photography is art using the science of optics. It is a visual journal and a creative goldmine.

I think nature is fascinating and many kids today are missing it. With photography, you are on the lookout for nature. It could be the changing color of a leaf, a beautiful sunset, or a rainbow. 

Picture
It could be a turtle at a lake, or a bird in flight.
Picture
With real photography a child’s imagination can be cultivated. Just a slight change in angle or a different time of day can take a photo from dull to brilliant. Sometime you don’t notice the trees in the forest, but with photography you’re looking for a tree in the forest. The one no one else sees but you.
Picture
I myself am very average when it comes to knowing an SLR camera. You know, aperture, f-stop, ISO setting, etc. I usually use the auto mode. What I concentrate on are the images I want to capture. I’m always scanning, always looking for something interesting or beautiful. I keep my camera with me at all times. Sure, I take many shots that don’t turn out, but I take a lot. It’s great practice and every 100 shots or so, I get a beauty. And I am lost in myself when I am taking photos.

I haven’t even mentioned the wonderful photos you can get that tell a story. A story of loved ones, friends, even animals, caught playing, crying or being just real. And yes, sometimes you can do that with a smart phone.

Yes, photography can stimulate creativity, teach life lessons, and take you to another place emotionally. Your focus will be outward, not inward. Your successes will be captured and your failures deleted. It’s a fun way to expand a young person’s mind beyond the next text.
 


6 Comments

One Busy Grandpa!

12/6/2013

8 Comments

 
Picture
This blog is focused on helping fathers to become dads, but this post will vary somewhat from that theme, while still having some relevancy – at least as a grandfather.

This is about me and how my life has exploded into an embarrassment of riches for which I wish I had more time. I’m retired now, which you would think would have given me the freedom I never had when I worked an average of 60-70 hours a week. I had a full time job as an engineer and a part time job as an officer in the Air National Guard. There I had structure. When I came home, it was “husband and dad” time. Usually nothing fancy. You don’t decide to take on projects or hobbies when all you can do is work and catch up with your family.

Which brings me to another point. Have you ever looked at the Board of Directors of any organization and read their Bio’s. President of that, volunteer for this, member of dozens of organizations! How do they manage this? It’s amazing what they can accomplish! So why can’t I manage being retired? Why can’t I get to everything?

Here’s my dilemma.

My blog came about because I wrote a book called “The Power of Dadhood: A Better Society, One Child at a Time”. Hopefully it will be published by Father’s Day, 2014. I worked on this book for 12 years, squeezing in time during those work years after my kids had grown. This blog is necessary because I need a “platform” as a complete unknown in the area of parenting. Writing the book I found is the easy part! Having the book be edited, published, and marketed is tough! Developing a platform is not always fun, but it is necessary if I want my book to be read by anyone other than (some) my family. I have to look for opportunities to speak, volunteer, market, etc. The topic is important to me.

Beyond the blog, I’m a very involved grandfather. I love it! I have three grandchildren now ages 5 years, 1 year, and 2 months. My wife Kathy and I help out with babysitting two days a week and we see them more often than that. Part of my retirement plan was to help my daughters’ families (my son is single and in the Army). They do keep me busy!

My passion, for my personal enjoyment, is photography. It started out as simple snapshots. It evolved to taking my camera everywhere I go and annoying my friends, family, and especially my beautiful 5 year old granddaughter. Now, I just bought Photoshop Elements, a very complicated software program that can help with endless, imaginative ways to work with photography. I could spend 8 hours a day just playing with it.

Five years ago I bought second home, a farmhouse built in 1900 in a beautiful area near Augusta, Missouri. It is only 2.6 acres but there is a small shed, which I made into a playhouse, a large shed, filled with junk, and a large barn which has infinite possibilities. I rehabbed the farmhouse with the help of my brother. I love the place for personal tranquility, family get-togethers, and time with my grandchildren building memories. I also love taking care of it - most of the time. But it is another time consumer.

And lastly, we have great friends with whom we visit and go to dinner with often. We meet every Tuesday morning and visit a new restaurant once a month, but we meet more often than that. And travel! We love to travel and see new things!

One passion I have passed up is flying. I was a pilot in the Air Force and it was the favorite occupation of my life. But since flying at my own expense is quite costly, I just gaze at aircraft as they fly over and imagine. I don’t follow aviation at all because it is frustrating when I can’t participate financially and frankly, I don’t have time anyway! Oh, and reading, if only I could stay awake more than 10 minutes. Those people I see on TV curled up by a fire reading a book are much smarter time managers than I am.

And speaking of TV, why is it now that HBO and Showtime, etc., have to come up with great programs like “Homeland” and “Breaking Bad”, not to mention others I only hear about? I love watching them but they are, alas, another time consumer.

Now, just how do the Warren Buffets’, Donald Trumps’, and Bill Gates’ of the world do what they do when I barely find enough time to write a blog? So many fun and important things to do. No wonder my basement or garage never gets cleaned out! But life is good.

8 Comments

20 Memories of a Thankful Father

11/25/2013

21 Comments

 
Picture
I am a truly blessed man and there are many things for which I am thankful! Some of them are selfish. Some are silly. Some are fleeting. But others are precious. Those are the memories and love of my children. As Thanksgiving approaches, I’d like to reflect on just a few of those precious memories.


I’m thankful for:
  • The time my wife persuaded me to go apple picking with my kids instead of watching my favorite football team play on a Sunday.
  • The laughs and giggles, the swings and slides, the sledding and snowmen, the parks and pools, the weekends and vacations.
  • Coaching my son's baseball team to a perfect record over three years (0-30). We let anyone and everyone play.
  • The notes I got from my daughters that thanked me for loving them.
  • The way my son followed me around with his pretend lawn mower and plastic hammers when I worked around the house.
  • The joy that a pair of plastic high heel shoes brought to my younger daughter upon my return from a business trip.
  • The look of my children’s eyes in my rear-view mirror as they awoke on a long car trip.
  • My infant son’s spit-up stains on the shoulder of my uniform jacket that were bluntly pointed out to me by my peers.
  • Cookie days during the holidays when my wife and daughters had flour on their faces, aprons around their waists, slippers on their feet and smell of cookies in the air.
  • The memory of my younger daughter playing in the dirt while her brother played baseball.
  • The sound of “Daddy” from the sweet voice of a toddler.
  • The artwork so proudly pulled from my children’s backpacks before even saying hello.
  • My older daughter going to football games with me before she got married.
  • The vision of my wife and kids sitting on the driveway when I came home from work.
  • Teaching all three kids to drive a stick shift.
  • Surviving…them and me.
  • The raw emotion of sending my son off to the Army.
  • The way my children have chosen careers that directly help others.
  • Walking my daughters down the aisle.
  • My son wanting to be like me.

If you are a dad, or mom, take a moment to reflect on how the simplest of life’s moments are those we cherish the most, especially when those moments are with our family. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Spend the holidays creating new family memories that will someday be irreplaceable.

Tell us what you are thankful for.

21 Comments

Balancing Work and Family - A Fatherly Dilemma

11/21/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
What if you could do it all over again?

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about having few regrets as a dad.

<http://michaelbyronsmith.com/1/post/2013/11/be-a-dad-with-few-regrets-do-it-now.html>

I came back to this thought upon seeing another blog about the five most common regrets of dying people. As an advocate for fatherhood, one of the five reasons caught my attention. Can you guess what it might be? I’ll reveal it and the others at the end of this article.

How many times do we hear something important, see something inspiring, think of something we want to do – and in the next second, we’re back into the fog of everyday life? We procrastinate, make excuses, conveniently forget about those potentially life altering moments. Sometimes we ignore an exciting idea or a touching thought for fear of criticism from others.

One moment we have adrenalin pumping though our veins, the next you’ll find the momentum of unconscious choices plodding you along the path of least resistance. This will happen over and over again until one day, you’ll find yourself moving on to your next great adventure - in another dimension!

A palliative care nurse, working with dying patients, typically spent between 3-12 weeks caring for each of them before they passed on. (Palliative care is an area of healthcare that focuses on relieving and preventing the suffering of patients.)

On a very positive note, she said “Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.” But she also knew their regrets!

One of those regrets, and the one I focused on is: “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

The nurse goes on to say, “This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

Wishing they didn’t work so hard was not an indictment of their successes or dreams. We should work hard for these things. It had to do with balance and the attention that was stolen from their children and families. It’s a tough decision, no doubt, because we men want the best for our families. But sometimes the best is time and attention over money and things. A father must at least consider the options. And in my opinion, lean towards family.

Oh, it would be unfair of me not to mention the other 4 most common regrets. See the blog post below for the entire article on the Regrets of the Dying.

<http://inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html>

1 Comment

The Father Absence Crisis in America

11/12/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
This little boy came into the world healthy and strong. But he has a lot ahead of him to remain that way...in both mind and spirit. He could be anyone's child. What wouldn't we do to make sure he has all the advantages he deserves?
However, too many times little girls and boys, like this one, live without their biological father.
A tremendous disadvantage to having a successful life.

Clicking on the link below will provide you with the statistics of fatherless children -- and they will astonish you!

Thanks to www.fatherhood.org and their Father Factor blog for the data below.


Click on the following

The Father Absence Crisis in America [Infographic]

There are many reasons to cite for the absence of fathers in the home. It should be mentioned that it is not always the desire or fault of the father. Some are rejected by the mother who has the advantage of being with the child from birth. Some men never had fathers themselves. Some are clueless and/or irresponsible.  But all of them need mentoring, encouragement and education.
1 Comment

Imagination Plays a Role in Learning and Success

9/21/2013

1 Comment

 
Imagination is a great teacher!
Kids can learn so much from a box. They love how they can maneuver something that looks so big. They peek through, climb in, climb on, hide, lift, throw stuff in, take things out, and get joy from all. And the best part? Boxes are cheap!
1 Comment

Dads Notice the Little Things, and the Big!

9/2/2013

3 Comments

 
What do the two photos above have in common? 

I noticed the clouds, sun and the shadows they created yesterday while I was getting out of my truck. I went in the house, grabbed my camera and took a quick photo. Then I even drove to a nearby park to get a better view. Alas, the one I took first at home was the best. Some of the best moments are fleeting!

In the park there were kids on the playground, a group of young men kicking a soccer ball, and some families picnicking while their kids played in the nearby stream. None of them were looking at the sky, at least not that I could tell. But here I was walking around looking for better angles, with my lens pointed toward the sky. At least we all were enjoying ourselves.

The other photo is my grandson looking out the window of his front door, watching the sprinkler go back and forth. It was taken by his mother who noticed the simplicity of the scene and the emotions it brought forth. This too was a fleeting moment. Maybe not as fleeting as a changing sunset, but ask any parent with grown children and they will tell you just how fleeting it is.

As a Dad, or Mom, consciously notice the little things your children do. What this does is anchor the moment better in your brain for those memories you'll want to remember. It also gives you opportunities to praise, hug, or just say, 'I love you'! (And sometimes to correct!)

What these photos have in common is that the scenes, the moments, had be to noticed first! And there is a difference between being noticed and just being 'looked at'.

3 Comments

Clouds

7/13/2011

9 Comments

 
Picture
I love photography and I love clouds. What photography does for a someone is to make them more aware of their surroundings and appreciative of beauty. I'm always looking for a photo op so I'm always looking around at things most people are not. The benefit is a more fulfilling life overall. This brings me to clouds. Clouds can add so much drama to a scene and they can take on so many shapes and styles. The photo above would be boring if the the sky was clear. The peacefulness of this hayfield is complimented by the majesty of the cloud in the background. Even if you don't take pictures, I recommend you look up from your cell phone around and soak up the beauty.
9 Comments
Forward>>
    Click on cover to order! 
    Picture
    A review of "The Power of Dadhood" by About.com
    100 Top Daddy Blogs - Healthy Moms Magazine
    Picture
    Picture
    ​daddy blogs

    Subscribe to MichaelByronSmith: Helping Fathers to be Dads - Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads

    Subscribe in a reader
    'Helping Fathers to be Dads' Facebook page

    Archives

    May 2025
    January 2025
    August 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2011

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin
    Visit Michael's profile on Pinterest.

    Categories

    All
    Accomplishment
    Activities
    Adolescence
    Adulthood
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Attention
    Babies
    Balance
    Baseball
    Basketball
    BLM
    Books
    Boys
    Charity
    Checklist
    Child Custody
    Children
    Choices
    Christmas
    Clouds
    Communication
    Competition
    Confidence
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Creed
    Crime
    Dads
    Decision Making
    Discussion
    Diversity
    Divorce
    Eclipse
    Education
    Environment
    Equity
    Ethics
    Fairness
    Families
    Family
    Fatherhood
    Father Issues
    Fathers Day
    Finance
    Fire-safety
    Flying
    Free Speech
    Games
    Gangs
    Girls
    Goals
    Gold-star-families
    Guest Article
    Guns
    Happiness
    Harry Chapin
    Holidays
    Honesty
    Humor
    Ideology
    Integrity
    Interview
    Lesson
    Lies
    Life
    List
    Loss
    Lottery
    Love
    Marriage
    Memories
    Memory
    Men
    Mentoring
    Mistakes
    Motherhood
    Mothersday
    Nature
    News
    New Year
    Normies
    Nuclear Family
    Outdoors
    Pain
    Parenting
    Perfection
    Personality
    Pesonality
    Photography
    Poem
    Poverty
    Principles
    Racism
    Risk
    Ryan
    Sacrifice
    Safety
    Self Help
    Social Influencers
    Social Media
    Society
    Spain
    Sports
    Statistics
    Story
    Success
    Summer
    Teen Pregnancy
    Tools
    Travel
    Video
    Violence
    Woke
    Working At Home
    Worry

Web Hosting by iPage