Few things are perfect in this world. The nearest to perfection I can think of is the movement of celestial objects which are predictable to a microsecond. Perfection like that does not apply to the human race. While the sentiment is noteworthy, the message, “You’re Perfect Just the Way You Are.” is not a good one in most situations. Although with kind intent, it’s never true for anyone. Telling someone you love them just the way they are - that is much more honest - if not always completely honest itself. Of course, we love our children, scars and all!
I give some leeway to the innocence of infants because they are as perfect as they can be, no matter their looks, intelligence, or disposition. But as they age, they have decisions to make that will determine how they approach or move away from perfection, never to get there. We will make mistakes that will ensure we never reach that unreachable goal. Telling someone that they are perfect ‘as they are’ is taking away goals they have yet to achieve. It’s like saying, “you’re done” … nothing left for you to do. Wouldn’t that be depressing?
I doubt anyone with self-respect wants to hear that they are perfect the way they are. Many interpret that as having no skills or potential to get better. I would even hesitate to say to my wife or kids, that ‘I love them just the way they are’. More appropriate would be to say that I love you!.”
Strangely, I found a blog from ‘Be Positive Now’ entitled “We are Perfect”, that claims we and everything are perfect. Yes, when you fall off a cliff, nature will work perfectly to take you down. When you eat fatty foods continuously, you will become perfectly fat. If you smoke your odds of dying earlier than normal go up, it’s absolutely predictable. The world reacts perfectly to our imperfections. Nature is closer to perfection but our reactions to it are not. Why did some people feel compelled not to leave on the East Coast when warned of Hurricane Florence? Florence was a perfect, if not a welcomed, storm. Reactions to Florence’s threat were not always perfect.
There is one paragraph in the “We are Perfect” article that I agree with. The problem is that this paragraph argues against the theme.
“Flaws, wrong, bad and ugly are thoughts that exist in our parent’s heads and thru negative training are passed along to us. We believe them and act as if the lies are true and pass them onto our children. Humans have been doing this since the first human wanted something other than what nature provided.”
The paragraph above says we can contribute to others being less perfect, proving “We are Perfect” is not true. Interestingly, all the comments praised this article immensely! I think they missed the irony. Maybe there is hope! Maybe we will all be perfect in a few years! I’m not counting on it.
Summary:
The way we are is perfectly us! Yes, a child can have a flaw given to them by God, but that’s not the issue. If an imperfection at all, the flaw is not an imperfection of the child. The best of us understand that and this situation is when this phrase is often used, understandably. Instead of telling a child that they are perfect just the way they are, tell them they are destined for great things with the right attitude. At no time are we in a place where we, or our loved ones, can stop improving ourselves, or our lot in life…until we give up on it. And that may be the furthest from perfection we can ever get.
