My Mom and me. I’m a huge fan of moms everywhere! Moms come in all shapes, sizes, temperaments, social and religious backgrounds. They are young and old; some have careers and many stay-at-home. Moms are tough and softies; they have smiles that comfort you and glares that frighten you. When any of their children are threatened moms become super-heroes with powers rarely seen. Their loyalty is unquestioned, and their ability to multitask is simply incredible! Moms are simply God’s gift to humanity.
As a dad and someone who encourages men to be caring parents, emphasizing fathers importance to the welfare of their children and families, there is no doubt moms are the champions of child welfare. We Dads have our role, a crucial role, but few of us would want to be a single parent and provide what mothers provide to our children.
But what makes is a good mom? Only the children she raised can answer that question because the challenges of mothering vary in every instance. One mom can be considered a good parent because she bakes brownies, belongs to the PTO, has dinner on the table every night, and reads to her children. But is she a bad mom if she doesn’t do one or all of these things? I think not. Good moms sacrifice and sacrifices differ. The model mom I described above is doing good things, things that, in my opinion, I wish every mom could do. But these acts are not necessarily the end-all of ‘good’ mothering and may not even be much of a sacrifice given her ability to do it.
Some mothers have to work, manage without a decent or present parenting partner, or both! They may not have the time available to have dinner on the table every night or to read bedtime stories. Some children are more difficult to raise because of illnesses or disabilities, physical or mental. Moms themselves have different strengths and weaknesses. Any seeming lack of parenting skill or talent is apt to be misunderstood without insight into the challenges that exist. What may be easy for one mom may be very difficult for another mom for any number of reasons.
The message here is never to judge a mother by your standards unless those standards are sacrifice and love. I doubt you will find many mothers who lack those two characteristics. But even love and sacrifice are not easily compared. I know my mother was not the kind of mom that fit the popular mold of motherhood. But she certainly loved and sacrificed for her children, maybe more than most! She raised six children without any help or money from my father. She worked many hours in menial jobs to feed us. We had fried chicken dinners on occasion, but often it had to be potted meat sandwiches, a can of soup, or corn flakes.
My wife, Kathy, is without question a good mom, but more traditionally. She more closely fits the image most have of a caring mother being very hands-on, loving, and giving one-on-one time tailored to each child’s idiosyncrasies! My mother was different. She did not have the luxury of tending to each of her children’s different strengths or weaknesses. Survival comes before the nuances of personality. To some outside our home, my mother was not a good mom. It was so evident if one looked at our clothes, our wild behavior, and her frequent absence. She could not meet us at the door when we came home from school. Trips to the zoo, park, or movie were never possible. But she worked hard to feed and raise us without looking for society to do her job.
Those people who would judge my Mom didn’t know the sacrifices she had to make. She had dreams that went unrealized. My mom loved to dance, but never danced. She wanted to look nice but had to wait to get her teeth fixed because rent money took most of what she had. Her children often got into trouble and didn’t do their homework, but she scolded us the best way she knew without the time to read parenting books or pay for counseling. However, to every one of my siblings and me, our mother is revered and loved as much as any mother in the world. We have had struggles and successes like every other brood and better than some who had stay-at-home or any other traditional mom. She didn’t meet the ideal aspects many think of when you think of a good mom. But my mom was a good mom. I love her so much! Happy Mother’s Day!
As a dad and someone who encourages men to be caring parents, emphasizing fathers importance to the welfare of their children and families, there is no doubt moms are the champions of child welfare. We Dads have our role, a crucial role, but few of us would want to be a single parent and provide what mothers provide to our children.
But what makes is a good mom? Only the children she raised can answer that question because the challenges of mothering vary in every instance. One mom can be considered a good parent because she bakes brownies, belongs to the PTO, has dinner on the table every night, and reads to her children. But is she a bad mom if she doesn’t do one or all of these things? I think not. Good moms sacrifice and sacrifices differ. The model mom I described above is doing good things, things that, in my opinion, I wish every mom could do. But these acts are not necessarily the end-all of ‘good’ mothering and may not even be much of a sacrifice given her ability to do it.
Some mothers have to work, manage without a decent or present parenting partner, or both! They may not have the time available to have dinner on the table every night or to read bedtime stories. Some children are more difficult to raise because of illnesses or disabilities, physical or mental. Moms themselves have different strengths and weaknesses. Any seeming lack of parenting skill or talent is apt to be misunderstood without insight into the challenges that exist. What may be easy for one mom may be very difficult for another mom for any number of reasons.
The message here is never to judge a mother by your standards unless those standards are sacrifice and love. I doubt you will find many mothers who lack those two characteristics. But even love and sacrifice are not easily compared. I know my mother was not the kind of mom that fit the popular mold of motherhood. But she certainly loved and sacrificed for her children, maybe more than most! She raised six children without any help or money from my father. She worked many hours in menial jobs to feed us. We had fried chicken dinners on occasion, but often it had to be potted meat sandwiches, a can of soup, or corn flakes.
My wife, Kathy, is without question a good mom, but more traditionally. She more closely fits the image most have of a caring mother being very hands-on, loving, and giving one-on-one time tailored to each child’s idiosyncrasies! My mother was different. She did not have the luxury of tending to each of her children’s different strengths or weaknesses. Survival comes before the nuances of personality. To some outside our home, my mother was not a good mom. It was so evident if one looked at our clothes, our wild behavior, and her frequent absence. She could not meet us at the door when we came home from school. Trips to the zoo, park, or movie were never possible. But she worked hard to feed and raise us without looking for society to do her job.
Those people who would judge my Mom didn’t know the sacrifices she had to make. She had dreams that went unrealized. My mom loved to dance, but never danced. She wanted to look nice but had to wait to get her teeth fixed because rent money took most of what she had. Her children often got into trouble and didn’t do their homework, but she scolded us the best way she knew without the time to read parenting books or pay for counseling. However, to every one of my siblings and me, our mother is revered and loved as much as any mother in the world. We have had struggles and successes like every other brood and better than some who had stay-at-home or any other traditional mom. She didn’t meet the ideal aspects many think of when you think of a good mom. But my mom was a good mom. I love her so much! Happy Mother’s Day!
