This photo was taken by my 3 year old grandson with an IPAD while I was babysitting him and his cousin. “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
One of the funniest movies ever made, in my mind, is “The Jerk” starring Steve Martin. The hero, Navin, is a bit naïve not understanding, as a White man, that he was actually adopted by his Black, sharecropper family. The family is poor, and Steve Martin’s character wants to help. He is told by his loving adoptive mother he has a “special purpose” and he wants to find out what it is so he can go out into the world to find a way to send money home. He does so, with many mistakes and comic results, until he finally finds out what his “special purpose” is – and with great joy! At least in the short term.
Steve Martin’s character had it all backward. He took action to find his purpose, and many of us do the same. Now if you don’t have a special purpose in life, then do what the Jerk character did. Take action, and your actions may find a purpose. I actually use this tactic when I write some of my articles. I start writing random thoughts and eventually find a theme. Granted, I have to delete quite a bit of work to clean up my random thoughts, but each word got me to a final product.
It is best, however, to first have a purpose to direct your actions. For instance, a pitcher throws a curve ball with the purpose of getting the batter out. A hitter takes batting practice with the purpose of being able to hit a curveball. Otherwise, why throw a curveball or take batting practice to hit one? While there’s really only one good reason to throw a curveball, there is more than one reason to have sex. If you act similarly to Navin, you may take action first (sex) and then find yourself a parent. That may not have been what your special purpose was intending.
So what is your purpose?
I’m talking about your ultimate purpose. Is it to be respected, to get rich, to be healthy, to be successful, to be influential, to create, to serve, to be happy, something else, or combinations of such? Whatever it is or was, it changes when you have children. Not that you have to give up previous purposes, they just become goals and not your purpose. It doesn’t change anything else you want to do except to give priority to that which needs priority. Your purpose in life, until they are on their own, should be the well-being of your children and family. It’s unbelievably rewarding! Helping others, especially loved ones, to lead successful lives only adds to your own success! When your purpose as a parent is complete, new goals of your choosing will be available. And that’s not so bad. Personally, I’ve had twenty plus years of creating and prioritizing new goals and purposes for each day, week, month, and year since my children have gone on to be responsible for themselves. My new adventures have been enjoyable, but none have been as rewarding.
Summary
When your actions have a purpose, you will react with purpose. When you have priorities, you will choose the right actions for the situation. You will skip poker night when your child is in a play. Your golf game will suffer while you’re coaching baseball. And some decisions are very tough! A promotion at work may require you to be away from home more than you like. What is your purpose? Will the new position help your family in the best possible way overall? Living life with a purpose will get the best out of you, while just living day-by-day is giving your life to the unpredictability of the wind. Steve Martin was lucky to have found his special purpose, but was it really his own, or what he was told it was? Not becoming a parent is an honorable and wise choice if you can’t commit to the role. If you are a parent to young children already, it’s too late for narcissism.
― Friedrich Nietzsche
One of the funniest movies ever made, in my mind, is “The Jerk” starring Steve Martin. The hero, Navin, is a bit naïve not understanding, as a White man, that he was actually adopted by his Black, sharecropper family. The family is poor, and Steve Martin’s character wants to help. He is told by his loving adoptive mother he has a “special purpose” and he wants to find out what it is so he can go out into the world to find a way to send money home. He does so, with many mistakes and comic results, until he finally finds out what his “special purpose” is – and with great joy! At least in the short term.
Steve Martin’s character had it all backward. He took action to find his purpose, and many of us do the same. Now if you don’t have a special purpose in life, then do what the Jerk character did. Take action, and your actions may find a purpose. I actually use this tactic when I write some of my articles. I start writing random thoughts and eventually find a theme. Granted, I have to delete quite a bit of work to clean up my random thoughts, but each word got me to a final product.
It is best, however, to first have a purpose to direct your actions. For instance, a pitcher throws a curve ball with the purpose of getting the batter out. A hitter takes batting practice with the purpose of being able to hit a curveball. Otherwise, why throw a curveball or take batting practice to hit one? While there’s really only one good reason to throw a curveball, there is more than one reason to have sex. If you act similarly to Navin, you may take action first (sex) and then find yourself a parent. That may not have been what your special purpose was intending.
So what is your purpose?
I’m talking about your ultimate purpose. Is it to be respected, to get rich, to be healthy, to be successful, to be influential, to create, to serve, to be happy, something else, or combinations of such? Whatever it is or was, it changes when you have children. Not that you have to give up previous purposes, they just become goals and not your purpose. It doesn’t change anything else you want to do except to give priority to that which needs priority. Your purpose in life, until they are on their own, should be the well-being of your children and family. It’s unbelievably rewarding! Helping others, especially loved ones, to lead successful lives only adds to your own success! When your purpose as a parent is complete, new goals of your choosing will be available. And that’s not so bad. Personally, I’ve had twenty plus years of creating and prioritizing new goals and purposes for each day, week, month, and year since my children have gone on to be responsible for themselves. My new adventures have been enjoyable, but none have been as rewarding.
Summary
When your actions have a purpose, you will react with purpose. When you have priorities, you will choose the right actions for the situation. You will skip poker night when your child is in a play. Your golf game will suffer while you’re coaching baseball. And some decisions are very tough! A promotion at work may require you to be away from home more than you like. What is your purpose? Will the new position help your family in the best possible way overall? Living life with a purpose will get the best out of you, while just living day-by-day is giving your life to the unpredictability of the wind. Steve Martin was lucky to have found his special purpose, but was it really his own, or what he was told it was? Not becoming a parent is an honorable and wise choice if you can’t commit to the role. If you are a parent to young children already, it’s too late for narcissism.
