A young man, whose father was scarcely involved in his life, was about to be a father himself. Wary of his future, he wondered if he had it in him to be a better father than his own. Unaware he was already showing positive signs by simply wanting answers, he wanted assurances. Not knowing where else to turn, he looked to an older man he had admired from afar. The young man had said hello to him often, when the older man was in parks with his grandchildren, looking like he was genuinely happy being with them.
One day he approached the old man in the park while his grandkids were playing, formally introducing himself. The young man mentioned having seen him often with his adult children and with their kids, then revealing he was about to become a father himself.
“That’s wonderful,” said the old man. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you!” he responded.
With some hesitation in his voice, he said, “Obviously, you’ve been a father and grandfather…and you seem to enjoy it so much.”
He continued nervously, “I know this is coming out of left field, but I grew up without my father around and my two uncles live far away.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” said the old man. “How can I help?”
“Oh, thank you, sir,” said the young man. “I would really appreciate if I could ask you a question?”
‘Sure,” responded the old man.
He asked, “Can you tell me about being a dad? Just what is fatherhood like? What does it mean?”
“Well,” the old man was taken aback by the seriousness of his question. He pondered a bit and said, “I guess I never put it in words before.”
He then continued after more thought. “Fatherhood to me is three things. First of all, it’s a miracle when it happens to any of us. Secondly, fatherhood is an opportunity, the greatest opportunity of your life. And third of all, it’s knowing what you do with that miracle will affect others profoundly!”
“Yes,” said the young man, “I get that. But how do you be a father? What are you supposed to do?”
The old man rocked a bit, his eyes glancing to his grandchildren, then repeated himself to further the point he was trying to make.
“Well, to be a good father, you must realize, as I said, that it’s a miracle placed in your hands!”
Looking up, thinking on the spot, he expanded a bit. “Changing diapers, coaching your child in sports, going to their events, you know, those things are important, but,” the old man looked the young man in the eye, “really, just be there for your children in good times and bad, giving up part of yourself to do so.”
The young man nodded in agreement, whispering, “Yes!”
“And finally,” the old man raised his finger for emphasis, “and this may be most important, you must always be aware that how you interact with your children will impact their lives profoundly! So always think about that!”
The young man was not expecting this kind of answer, so he summarized having listened carefully, “So, being a father is just being there for your kids and letting them know you care?”
“Yes! It’s that simple and that hard,” said the old man. “There are no set answers, but if you remember those three things, the answers will be there for any circumstance that may challenge you.”
The young man leaned back feeling a bit relieved and a bit sad, thinking to himself, “So, this is what I have been missing.”
“I have an idea you will do just fine,” said the old man as he reminded his grandchildren to be careful on the monkey bars.
One day he approached the old man in the park while his grandkids were playing, formally introducing himself. The young man mentioned having seen him often with his adult children and with their kids, then revealing he was about to become a father himself.
“That’s wonderful,” said the old man. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you!” he responded.
With some hesitation in his voice, he said, “Obviously, you’ve been a father and grandfather…and you seem to enjoy it so much.”
He continued nervously, “I know this is coming out of left field, but I grew up without my father around and my two uncles live far away.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” said the old man. “How can I help?”
“Oh, thank you, sir,” said the young man. “I would really appreciate if I could ask you a question?”
‘Sure,” responded the old man.
He asked, “Can you tell me about being a dad? Just what is fatherhood like? What does it mean?”
“Well,” the old man was taken aback by the seriousness of his question. He pondered a bit and said, “I guess I never put it in words before.”
He then continued after more thought. “Fatherhood to me is three things. First of all, it’s a miracle when it happens to any of us. Secondly, fatherhood is an opportunity, the greatest opportunity of your life. And third of all, it’s knowing what you do with that miracle will affect others profoundly!”
“Yes,” said the young man, “I get that. But how do you be a father? What are you supposed to do?”
The old man rocked a bit, his eyes glancing to his grandchildren, then repeated himself to further the point he was trying to make.
“Well, to be a good father, you must realize, as I said, that it’s a miracle placed in your hands!”
Looking up, thinking on the spot, he expanded a bit. “Changing diapers, coaching your child in sports, going to their events, you know, those things are important, but,” the old man looked the young man in the eye, “really, just be there for your children in good times and bad, giving up part of yourself to do so.”
The young man nodded in agreement, whispering, “Yes!”
“And finally,” the old man raised his finger for emphasis, “and this may be most important, you must always be aware that how you interact with your children will impact their lives profoundly! So always think about that!”
The young man was not expecting this kind of answer, so he summarized having listened carefully, “So, being a father is just being there for your kids and letting them know you care?”
“Yes! It’s that simple and that hard,” said the old man. “There are no set answers, but if you remember those three things, the answers will be there for any circumstance that may challenge you.”
The young man leaned back feeling a bit relieved and a bit sad, thinking to himself, “So, this is what I have been missing.”
“I have an idea you will do just fine,” said the old man as he reminded his grandchildren to be careful on the monkey bars.
