The Seven Wonders of the 'World of Fatherhood'

Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro Getty Images

Can you name the Ancient Seven Wonders of the World? Or the New Seven Wonders of the World?

That got me to thinking. There are things I wonder about that I think are inexplicable, but the wonder is not about their majesty, but their insanity. For instance, how does evil like ISIS even exist in this day and age? What is this fascination of following other people’s lives (e.g. the Kardashians)?  Or less serious--selfies with ‘duck lips’? Enough already!

But what I wonder about the most as a writer of fatherhood topics are the inexplicable problems of fathers and families. With that stated, here are seven situations I wonder about that never seem to be resolved.  

The Seven Wonders of Fatherhood!

1. I wonder why 24 million children (34%) do not have a father in the home.
   
2. I wonder how society would be impacted and how many lives would be saved if estranged dads connected with their children and helped raise healthy families.
   
3. I wonder why so many men (and boys) have children, then turn away from being responsible for them.
   
4. I wonder what can be done to reach young men who have no idea how, or desire, to raise a child that they have fathered.
   
5. I wonder why men without custody are aggressively sought to pay child support but not encouraged to engage and be involved with their children.
   
6. I wonder when TV shows and commercials will allow dads to occasionally look like the smart, responsible parent.
   
7. I wonder why our leaders don’t understand that to solve social issues, we must first fix families.
   

Without question, there are also many amazing fathers and their positive influence upon their children is obvious and wonderful! After writing my book, The Power of Dadhood: Become the Father Your Child Needs, I recall some of the truths that are quite clear regarding Dadhood! Here are seven of those truths.

Seven 'truths' that are quite clear regarding Dadhood!

1. Only a father can love his children as deeply as their mother does. (p. 9)
   
2. Society cannot replace good parenting. (p. 40)
   
3. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy, and prosocial behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. (p. 38)
   
4. Defeated mothers and absent fathers create more defeated mothers and absent fathers. (p. 43)
   
5. It is in the home . . . where children should learn kindness, goodness, values, discipline, and manners. . . where children should find understanding, care, and comfort. . .where successful lives should begin, with open minds, encouragement, and love. . . where compassion should exist. . . where the safety nets of our children’s failures are made of rubber bands, ready to sling them back into the world—stronger, wiser, and with new momentum. (p. 46)
6. One thing you need not worry about—it will happen with certainty—is this: your children will learn from you. They learn in two ways: First, they learn by what you point out to them that they may never see on their own. I call this parenting. Second, they observe and mimic you. I call this parental osmosis. (p. 137)
7. Be a good Dad to your children and your rewards will make you feel like you didn’t do enough to deserve them. This is a promise. (p. 201)
   

Summary

Of course, we could guess the answers to my ‘wonders’, but they are guesses and likely all would apply to some degree. The lack of action or answers to solve the father absence issue and the rare occasions in which it is mentioned as a cause of so many social issues is the greatest of all my wonders. I just hope the truths in my book catch the ear of a few uninvolved or hesitant fathers that may have an "AHA" moment and become the father their child needs!

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