There is a risk of sending your kid out into the world. But also risks if you do not! Where in life will you find more opportunities for reward and failure than parenting? Let’s face it, it’s a risky undertaking. Here are some thoughts on the topic.
Risk. That word scares some people and excites others. I think of these daredevils who jump off cliffs in flying suits, taking risks that don’t need to be taken but the thrill is worth it to them. Or the brave soldiers who put themselves in danger in foreign lands. They were aware of the possible risks when they joined and accepted them. While a few may do it for the thrill, most do it out of responsibility to meet their commitment to the job and their country.
Most of us think of risk-taking as an action, just as those taken by daredevils and soldiers, but there are risks you assume by doing nothing. Sometimes those risks are obvious and dramatic and sometimes they are subtle and/or internal. But you can’t discuss risk without discussing reward because why would anyone take a risk if no reward awaits them - like the thrills experienced by the daredevils. For example, you can speak against a popular idea (or speak for an unpopular idea). You risk criticism if you speak up, but you are rewarded by the courage of your conviction and influence. Conversely, if you don’t speak up, you avoid criticism but your opinion of yourself may suffer and your voice on a topic will not be heard.
Analyzing risk should not be limited to engineering, gambling, or finance—we can do it in everyday life as well. Risk is basically a balance between likelihood and consequence (penalty or reward). We can ask ‘what is the likelihood that a bad (or good) outcome will occur?’ We can also ask the consequence if it does or does not occur. So let’s look at risk from a fatherly viewpoint.
Risk Factors of Fatherhood
Here are a few consequences of being a father.
Good (rewards) – love, pride, intimacy, excitement, memories, caring, a continuation of family lineage, support, successful children, grandchildren, etc.
Bad (penalties) – expense, worry, fear, conflict, pain, unsuccessful children, etc.
The likelihood of any of these good or bad consequences occurring lies mostly on the actions you take as a father. It also depends on your reactions to the events for which you have no control.
You many think being a good father is difficult - it’s not difficult, not if you are a decent human being! That’s not to say there aren’t difficulties because difficulties will be with you throughout your parenthood. In other words, the likelihood of difficulty is high, but usually worth the rewards. But your likelihood of being a good dad is amazingly high if you are loving, available, caring, interested, and involved, as well as a nurturing teacher, disciplinarian, coach, and cheerleader. These are not difficult notions but they require conscientiousness, something poor fathers’ lack.
Thoughts from my book, ‘The Power of Dadhood’,
“To children, young or grown, a father’s support enables them to take risks. You are their safety net because you are on their side, constantly and enthusiastically. If they succeed, you will be there to celebrate. If they fail, you will be there to recognize their efforts and to encourage them to try again. A hug or a pat on the back is a powerful thing, especially when it’s from your Dad.
The Rewards are beyond comprehension!
“No man is a failure who has helped a child, especially his own. The greatest single gift a man can give his children is his attention. It seems so simple, but somehow it is lost in its simplicity. There is no excuse for not trying your best to be a good father. There are reasons, obstacles, and hardships, but no excuses.”
So understand what it takes to be a good dad and tackle the risks of fatherhood!
The consequences of poor fathering can be disastrous
An example of a risk from non-action is a passive or missing parent. The personal and social consequences of fatherless homes, for instance, can be seen in jails, drug rehab centers, teen mothers, bad neighborhoods, out-of-control schools, mental health centers and more. Why? Because children are rudderless! They can have energy that needs positive direction. They can have fears that must be resolved. They can have potential that must be noticed and nurtured. They can have demons that must be defeated. Children need parents who are socially educated, motivated, and aware to guide them successfully!
Summary
When you prepare properly for anything, the likelihood of success increases and the consequences will tend highly towards reward! So, prepare for and take risks with your children. Tell them things that they don’t want to hear, but must. Hug them when you don’t think they want to be held. Stand up to their persistent complaining. Don’t give in against your better judgement. Have rules and stick to them! Healthy children come from healthy parenting. We can build a healthier society, one child at a time. We have but one chance to help our children create [and be] a positive impact on society.
Risk. That word scares some people and excites others. I think of these daredevils who jump off cliffs in flying suits, taking risks that don’t need to be taken but the thrill is worth it to them. Or the brave soldiers who put themselves in danger in foreign lands. They were aware of the possible risks when they joined and accepted them. While a few may do it for the thrill, most do it out of responsibility to meet their commitment to the job and their country.
Most of us think of risk-taking as an action, just as those taken by daredevils and soldiers, but there are risks you assume by doing nothing. Sometimes those risks are obvious and dramatic and sometimes they are subtle and/or internal. But you can’t discuss risk without discussing reward because why would anyone take a risk if no reward awaits them - like the thrills experienced by the daredevils. For example, you can speak against a popular idea (or speak for an unpopular idea). You risk criticism if you speak up, but you are rewarded by the courage of your conviction and influence. Conversely, if you don’t speak up, you avoid criticism but your opinion of yourself may suffer and your voice on a topic will not be heard.
Analyzing risk should not be limited to engineering, gambling, or finance—we can do it in everyday life as well. Risk is basically a balance between likelihood and consequence (penalty or reward). We can ask ‘what is the likelihood that a bad (or good) outcome will occur?’ We can also ask the consequence if it does or does not occur. So let’s look at risk from a fatherly viewpoint.
Risk Factors of Fatherhood
Here are a few consequences of being a father.
Good (rewards) – love, pride, intimacy, excitement, memories, caring, a continuation of family lineage, support, successful children, grandchildren, etc.
Bad (penalties) – expense, worry, fear, conflict, pain, unsuccessful children, etc.
The likelihood of any of these good or bad consequences occurring lies mostly on the actions you take as a father. It also depends on your reactions to the events for which you have no control.
You many think being a good father is difficult - it’s not difficult, not if you are a decent human being! That’s not to say there aren’t difficulties because difficulties will be with you throughout your parenthood. In other words, the likelihood of difficulty is high, but usually worth the rewards. But your likelihood of being a good dad is amazingly high if you are loving, available, caring, interested, and involved, as well as a nurturing teacher, disciplinarian, coach, and cheerleader. These are not difficult notions but they require conscientiousness, something poor fathers’ lack.
Thoughts from my book, ‘The Power of Dadhood’,
“To children, young or grown, a father’s support enables them to take risks. You are their safety net because you are on their side, constantly and enthusiastically. If they succeed, you will be there to celebrate. If they fail, you will be there to recognize their efforts and to encourage them to try again. A hug or a pat on the back is a powerful thing, especially when it’s from your Dad.
The Rewards are beyond comprehension!
“No man is a failure who has helped a child, especially his own. The greatest single gift a man can give his children is his attention. It seems so simple, but somehow it is lost in its simplicity. There is no excuse for not trying your best to be a good father. There are reasons, obstacles, and hardships, but no excuses.”
So understand what it takes to be a good dad and tackle the risks of fatherhood!
The consequences of poor fathering can be disastrous
An example of a risk from non-action is a passive or missing parent. The personal and social consequences of fatherless homes, for instance, can be seen in jails, drug rehab centers, teen mothers, bad neighborhoods, out-of-control schools, mental health centers and more. Why? Because children are rudderless! They can have energy that needs positive direction. They can have fears that must be resolved. They can have potential that must be noticed and nurtured. They can have demons that must be defeated. Children need parents who are socially educated, motivated, and aware to guide them successfully!
Summary
When you prepare properly for anything, the likelihood of success increases and the consequences will tend highly towards reward! So, prepare for and take risks with your children. Tell them things that they don’t want to hear, but must. Hug them when you don’t think they want to be held. Stand up to their persistent complaining. Don’t give in against your better judgement. Have rules and stick to them! Healthy children come from healthy parenting. We can build a healthier society, one child at a time. We have but one chance to help our children create [and be] a positive impact on society.
