Having the 'right stuff' will give him the 'right stuff'. “No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a child.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
The book and movie about America’s first astronauts are both entitled, The Right Stuff. It is about heroic, fearless men who had special skills and perfect health. For this awesome responsibility, specific skills and health requirements were absolutely necessary, the right stuff essential to perform the tasks assigned to them. It didn’t matter if these men were slow runners, had bald heads, or were born in New Jersey. They could be self-centered, egotistical, or have small penises because these things did not matter in regards to being an astronaut. I am not suggesting in any way that the original astronauts had any of these characteristics. My point is that the “right stuff” is different stuff for unique situations. Of course, some jobs, like being an astronaut, are more glamorous than others, but each job or task needs the right stuff to be successful. My question to men is this, “Do you have the right stuff to be a father?”
But what characteristics define the ‘right stuff’ of Dadhood? I think the majority of us know in our hearts what it takes! And if we know, why don’t we exhibit, or carry out the ‘right stuff’? It’s a good question because if all fathers could be the mentors and nurturers their children need, there would be far less poverty, crime, drug use, etc. But first, let’s discuss what constitutes the ‘right stuff’:
The Right Stuff to be a Dad (see, Appendix A of ‘The Power of Dadhood’)
A father who has the right stuff is:
Why do some fathers not have the ‘Right Stuff’?
Some fathers who lack the right stuff: *
Fortunately, most fathers have a good amount of the ‘right stuff.’ Also, most of the situations that can hinder a father from being his best can be surmounted. Admittedly, some of these hindrances are not easily overcome. Dads can learn by asking, reading, and observing. They can reevaluate the time they spend at their jobs. They can look in the mirror and ask themselves if they could do better. All obstacles are essential to overcome!
Summary
Parenting takes time, effort, and patience. Dads have unique complications, just as moms do. Dads must recognize and understand them. A college degree and good looks are not required. Nor are money, a big ego, or perfection. One cannot snap their finger and become a better parent. It takes work, dedication, and caring! With some of the characteristics of a good father described above, and by recognizing the hindrances many encounter, any father can look within and find small ways in which to improve his fathering skills.
* 24 million children (34%) live absent their biological fathers
#powerofdadhood
The book and movie about America’s first astronauts are both entitled, The Right Stuff. It is about heroic, fearless men who had special skills and perfect health. For this awesome responsibility, specific skills and health requirements were absolutely necessary, the right stuff essential to perform the tasks assigned to them. It didn’t matter if these men were slow runners, had bald heads, or were born in New Jersey. They could be self-centered, egotistical, or have small penises because these things did not matter in regards to being an astronaut. I am not suggesting in any way that the original astronauts had any of these characteristics. My point is that the “right stuff” is different stuff for unique situations. Of course, some jobs, like being an astronaut, are more glamorous than others, but each job or task needs the right stuff to be successful. My question to men is this, “Do you have the right stuff to be a father?”
But what characteristics define the ‘right stuff’ of Dadhood? I think the majority of us know in our hearts what it takes! And if we know, why don’t we exhibit, or carry out the ‘right stuff’? It’s a good question because if all fathers could be the mentors and nurturers their children need, there would be far less poverty, crime, drug use, etc. But first, let’s discuss what constitutes the ‘right stuff’:
The Right Stuff to be a Dad (see, Appendix A of ‘The Power of Dadhood’)
A father who has the right stuff is:
- Involved in his family and children’s lives.
- Principled, having values that can be emulated by your children.
- Consistent, setting rules and standards of behavior that are understood and rarely change.
- Loving, gentle, and kind, who gives full attention to his children when important in both good times and bad.
- Fun, who plays and jokes around when appropriate, who takes children on adventures when possible.
- Passionate, showing enthusiasm for their Dadhood and family.
- Balanced – involved but not too involved – principled but not preachy – fun but also respected –loving but not a pushover – and consistent but not inflexible.
Why do some fathers not have the ‘Right Stuff’?
Some fathers who lack the right stuff: *
- Were never raised with a father having the ‘right stuff’ and have to start near zero.
- Have no confidence in their parenting.
- Are very busy.
- Are blocked by the mother from access or influence.
- Have personalities not conducive to having the right stuff.
- Have addictions.
- Are selfish, lazy, or irresponsible.
- Have no interest.
Fortunately, most fathers have a good amount of the ‘right stuff.’ Also, most of the situations that can hinder a father from being his best can be surmounted. Admittedly, some of these hindrances are not easily overcome. Dads can learn by asking, reading, and observing. They can reevaluate the time they spend at their jobs. They can look in the mirror and ask themselves if they could do better. All obstacles are essential to overcome!
Summary
Parenting takes time, effort, and patience. Dads have unique complications, just as moms do. Dads must recognize and understand them. A college degree and good looks are not required. Nor are money, a big ego, or perfection. One cannot snap their finger and become a better parent. It takes work, dedication, and caring! With some of the characteristics of a good father described above, and by recognizing the hindrances many encounter, any father can look within and find small ways in which to improve his fathering skills.
* 24 million children (34%) live absent their biological fathers
#powerofdadhood
