Made with my grandkids' KidsDoodle App We all want the best in life, and while some things are out of practical reach, others hang out there like a ripe apple just a stepladder away -- yet remain untouched! Wanting to change is a start, but it certainly isn’t easy to always follow through. Over 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by Valentine’s Day. Coincidentally, Valentine’s Day is when most promises made to loved ones to change for the better are broken. Challenges made to yourself are the toughest to keep, and it takes a real hero to meet those challenges. Conscientiousness is not as common of a trait as we would hope.
I was a potential stepladder for a couple of men who chose not to accept my help. A program exists in St. Louis to mentor young fathers who were recently released from prison and had gone through a rigorous course to help them adjust to a second chance. I volunteered because of my interest in advancing the culture of fatherhood. The first young man assigned to me seemed eager to become a good father and contributing citizen. I gave him a pep talk and my phone number to call me if he needed help or guidance. We were also supposed to meet occasionally to check his progress and to see how I might help. After this first meeting, however, I never heard from or saw him again. I called his phone, left messages, and contacted the organization that brought us together with no luck. A few months later I was matched to a second young father, a fresh graduate of this excellent program. Knowing what happened the first time, I was still encouraged after talking to him. But it happened again. One phone call and then no more contact.
Maybe these two young men were sincere in their efforts to make good in their futures. They likely had hope with the confidence gained from the program they had just graduated. But this program was not entirely voluntary. Taking it was voluntary. but they were highly monitored and would lose many privileges if they didn’t toe the line. Once given some freedom of choice it may have been too easy to do what they wanted, and my help was not part of that.
Hopefully, these two young men have turned their lives around and are doing well. I sure hope so for them and their families. Maybe they didn’t need my help, but if I were to see them again, I would advise them to accept all the help they can get – and if they decide not to accept it, be courteous enough to say “thanks but no thanks.”
In the US, 78% of people live paycheck to paycheck. I would guess 78% of that 78% do that voluntarily. It’s not a plan to act this way, it’s the lack of a plan to save or to spend more wisely. It’s the same with dysfunctional families. They don’t want dysfunction. They just don’t have a consistently adhered-to plan to raise their children, or don't know how to get along with each other, or to save money, or never think of asking for or wanting help.
Yes, this article may may a bit negative because I’m pointing out behaviors that has affected me, my family, and millions in very nonproductive ways. But the upside of this story is the fact that many positive changes are just a stepladder away. And more importantly, we need to keep that stepladder nearby at all times! Help is there if you really want it.
I was a potential stepladder for a couple of men who chose not to accept my help. A program exists in St. Louis to mentor young fathers who were recently released from prison and had gone through a rigorous course to help them adjust to a second chance. I volunteered because of my interest in advancing the culture of fatherhood. The first young man assigned to me seemed eager to become a good father and contributing citizen. I gave him a pep talk and my phone number to call me if he needed help or guidance. We were also supposed to meet occasionally to check his progress and to see how I might help. After this first meeting, however, I never heard from or saw him again. I called his phone, left messages, and contacted the organization that brought us together with no luck. A few months later I was matched to a second young father, a fresh graduate of this excellent program. Knowing what happened the first time, I was still encouraged after talking to him. But it happened again. One phone call and then no more contact.
Maybe these two young men were sincere in their efforts to make good in their futures. They likely had hope with the confidence gained from the program they had just graduated. But this program was not entirely voluntary. Taking it was voluntary. but they were highly monitored and would lose many privileges if they didn’t toe the line. Once given some freedom of choice it may have been too easy to do what they wanted, and my help was not part of that.
Hopefully, these two young men have turned their lives around and are doing well. I sure hope so for them and their families. Maybe they didn’t need my help, but if I were to see them again, I would advise them to accept all the help they can get – and if they decide not to accept it, be courteous enough to say “thanks but no thanks.”
In the US, 78% of people live paycheck to paycheck. I would guess 78% of that 78% do that voluntarily. It’s not a plan to act this way, it’s the lack of a plan to save or to spend more wisely. It’s the same with dysfunctional families. They don’t want dysfunction. They just don’t have a consistently adhered-to plan to raise their children, or don't know how to get along with each other, or to save money, or never think of asking for or wanting help.
Yes, this article may may a bit negative because I’m pointing out behaviors that has affected me, my family, and millions in very nonproductive ways. But the upside of this story is the fact that many positive changes are just a stepladder away. And more importantly, we need to keep that stepladder nearby at all times! Help is there if you really want it.
