Why people act and think the way they do will become clearer if you understand personality characteristics. By some degree, we cannot help who we are because of inborn tendencies. To understand this better, a look at personality research will help.
Many personality researchers support the five-factor theory of personality,
- Extraversion
- Agreeableness
- Conscientiousness
- Neuroticism
- Openness
Understanding personality is essential in parenting. As I’ve stated in past articles, you treat all your children fairly, but you should not treat them all the same. For instance, it would be wrong to compare a shy boy to his very social sister because being socially comfortable does not come as easily to him. Yes, most parents are aware of personality differences in their children and how to handle them, but not all personality characteristics are as obvious as introversion vs extroversion. It helps to understand all personality traits. These traits are relatively stable throughout one’s life.
Of course, you don’t give-in to a trait that may be holding a child back from comfort and success. For instance, my natural introversion as a boy did me no good and no one around me challenged me to acknowledge this fact. I changed schools quite often and was slow to make friends. I may even have seemed strange to some people by my reserved nature. Today, I am still an introvert but some of my friends swear I’m an extrovert. I learned over time, a long time, that I could be sociable and even enjoy being around people, but I still enjoy quiet time alone time. It would have helped me if my mother could have placed me in situations to gradually become comfortable around other kids. I don’t blame her. She had her hands full with more serious issues than my awkwardness. Unfortunately, I was thrust in and out of social circles too quickly to adjust on my own.
So personality is always a factor in parenting. But not just your children's personalities, but yours and your spouses also!
Summary
- You can be a better parent if you understand personality traits. See five-factor theory of personality.
- Children should all be treated fairly, but not always the same.
- Any personality traits that are holding your children back can usually be tempered.
- 10 Fascinating Facts About Personality
Read my book “The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs”