MichaelByronSmith: The Power of Dadhood
  • Home
  • Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads
  • Dadhood Book
  • Photos
  • About Me
  • A Vagabond Life - A Memoir of Father Hunger

On Having an Open Mind

11/20/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Most everyone would agree that having an open mind is a good thing. The trouble is, very few people have one. We certainly have seen that over the past few months during the campaigns for a new President. When people ask us to have an open mind, we’re not sure they are trying to educate us or convince us. With so much information and many viewpoints coming at us, we must be careful to neither be rooted too deeply in a belief, nor be the tip of a branch, leaning in whichever direction the wind is blowing.

An Eye-Opening Conversation

I had a conversation with a dear friend the other day and I asked her thoughts about something for which we disagreed. She explained her views and not understanding them, I asked more questions. Not surprisingly, neither of us changed our stance. But we did know more about each other and our philosophies.

The following week that conversation came up. I told her the only reason I had pressed her was because I truly wanted to understand her stance. Being honest, my friend said, “No you didn’t, you just wanted to harass me (or something similar) because you didn’t agree with me”. I was a bit stunned! In no way did I want her to feel bullied or threatened. I debate to understand, not to denigrate or belittle anyone. As it turns out, it takes a special skill I may be lacking to make that apparent.

Thoughts on Open and Closed Minds

One large group of Americans think they have open minds regarding all sorts of ideas and lifestyles. Yet, when someone questions these ideas or lifestyles, their minds are not open to those questions. Another group of Americans cautiously resist being open minded to ‘change’, especially when it threatens their traditions or beliefs. Both groups can be very stubborn.

Sometimes, the rebellious among us think they are being open minded by refuting their parents, bosses, or government. Thinking they are open-minded because their vision looks beyond the established ways things have been done. What they are rebelling against may or may not be proven to be unfair or wrong. They often think of themselves as being altruistic and cutting edge. Sometimes, they are. Those who are being rebelled against have little regard for the reasons for the rebellion for it can be difficult to be sympathetic to anyone bashing your world.
​
Fear is a strong reason for a closed mind. We fear the result of being wrong, of being exposed. The realization that you are wrong, if you are, is painful and admitting it is more so. Also, many of us have a fear of conflict so discussion is avoided and minds remain closed for lack of information.

A ‘closed’ mind could also be described as a suspicious or doubtful mind. To change a suspicious or doubtful mind takes much more work, but it can be done. Brainwashing is a negative sounding term that occurs for both good and bad. It breaks down a conviction or habit and reorganizes a belief system to bring out a different result. Mantras are a tool used to train our minds. For instance, the character Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live would repeat over and over, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." He said this in hopes people would like him, assuming they did not.

I, myself, once had a confidence issue. I brainwashed (trained) myself out of it through the constant study of books that indoctrinated me to a new attitude. Students go to college coming out more liberal or more conservative depending what college they attended.  Commercials brainwash us every day to make us think we need their product.  Sometimes your mind is more open than you think. And often more closed than you will admit.

What Children Cartoons Can Teach Us

In the children’s series “Little Bear”, Duck may be the most open-minded of all the characters. She can be convinced of anything. She is also not very smart--in the most charming of ways. A duck with an open mind to everything has no standards or philosophy on life. Owl, another character, is not so open minded. He hesitates before going along with anything believing he has a better way. Owls are thought to be wise, but Owl wants to be the smartest animal in the forest. Having a closed mind is not good, but it feels safe. An open mind sounds good, but it may lead you down the wrong path if you are not careful.
​
What Really Suggests an Open Mind?

In my opinion, those that are closest to having an open mind are those that ask questions about things they don’t understand. People like this are willing and ready to learn, but also cautious. Little kids may not be cautious, but they are very open-minded. They ask questions about everything because they want to learn. As they grow older, their minds close ever so slowly as they make up their own minds about things and ask fewer and fewer questions. For a parent to say, “Because I told you so!” to their child’s question is not the kind of response that will keep a mind open and curious. Patience for inquisitive children is a blessing. We never want to take that quality away from them.

Summary
​

When someone asks you to have an open mind, try to do so but be suspicious of their motives. Are they trying to change you, belittle you, or understand you? Are they telling you what they think and not asking you what you think? Do they listen? If you ask questions of them, you are expressing an open mind and/or protecting yourself against subtle brainwashing, but you must really listen and consider their point of view! If someone with an opposite view doesn’t ask questions about you and your views, then they do not care what you think and don’t have an open mind themselves. In short, to be open-minded consists of asking, listening, considering, deciding, and verifying.

Important Note for Dads: In the vein of being open-minded, I plea for fathers to be the example. There is no better way than for dads to be open-minded as to their fathering skills than by asking questions of themselves. Please test yourselves using "A Dad's Self-Inspection Checklist", which can find here, or in Appendix B of  "The Power of Dadhood".

<http://michaelbyronsmith.com/blog-helping-fathers-to-be-dads/the-2nd-annual-dads-self-inspection-checklist>

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Click on cover to order! 
    Picture
    A review of "The Power of Dadhood" by About.com
    100 Top Daddy Blogs - Healthy Moms Magazine
    Picture
    Picture
    ​daddy blogs

    Subscribe to MichaelByronSmith: Helping Fathers to be Dads - Blog: Helping Fathers to be Dads

    Subscribe in a reader
    'Helping Fathers to be Dads' Facebook page

    Archives

    May 2025
    January 2025
    August 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2011

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin
    Visit Michael's profile on Pinterest.

    Categories

    All
    Accomplishment
    Activities
    Adolescence
    Adulthood
    Advice
    Anxiety
    Attention
    Babies
    Balance
    Baseball
    Basketball
    BLM
    Books
    Boys
    Charity
    Checklist
    Child Custody
    Children
    Choices
    Christmas
    Clouds
    Communication
    Competition
    Confidence
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Creed
    Crime
    Dads
    Decision Making
    Discussion
    Diversity
    Divorce
    Eclipse
    Education
    Environment
    Equity
    Ethics
    Fairness
    Families
    Family
    Fatherhood
    Father Issues
    Fathers Day
    Finance
    Fire-safety
    Flying
    Free Speech
    Games
    Gangs
    Girls
    Goals
    Gold-star-families
    Guest Article
    Guns
    Happiness
    Harry Chapin
    Holidays
    Honesty
    Humor
    Ideology
    Integrity
    Interview
    Lesson
    Lies
    Life
    List
    Loss
    Lottery
    Love
    Marriage
    Memories
    Memory
    Men
    Mentoring
    Mistakes
    Motherhood
    Mothersday
    Nature
    News
    New Year
    Normies
    Nuclear Family
    Outdoors
    Pain
    Parenting
    Perfection
    Personality
    Pesonality
    Photography
    Poem
    Poverty
    Principles
    Racism
    Risk
    Ryan
    Sacrifice
    Safety
    Self Help
    Social Influencers
    Social Media
    Society
    Spain
    Sports
    Statistics
    Story
    Success
    Summer
    Teen Pregnancy
    Tools
    Travel
    Video
    Violence
    Woke
    Working At Home
    Worry

Web Hosting by iPage