 Photo from the New York World-Telegram and Sun Newspaper collection at the U.S. Library of Congress | Perhaps the 20th century's most famous author for children, Dr. Seuss never had children himself. His books were famous for their funny rhymes and whimsical characters that caught the attention of children, encouraging them to read. As a change of pace, I thought I would attempt to write a poem as Dr. Seuss would have had he been told he was going to be a father. I’m sure he would have been excited and would have had thoughts of what kind of father he would want to be. Of course in his whimsical style, but unfortunately without his colorful artwork. By the way, do this today, Put a book in your Nook (or Kindle)! The Power of Dadhood only $9.99 |
If Dr. Seuss Had a Child
Oh my goodness! Said the startled young man.
What did you tell me? Say it again if you can!
I’m going to be a father? Oh my, oh my!
How did this happen? Tell me why, tell me why.
A baby is coming! What can I say, what will I do?
A baby is coming, part me and part you.
“Now take a deep breath”, said his wife in a dither.
“I am the one who is going to deliver.”
With that he calmed down. And took it all in.
His eyes opened up and he started to grin.
I’ll soon be a dad. I’ll soon have a child.
That is so wonderful. But also frightening and wild.
So Mr. Seuss began thinking. He was feeling the joy.
We’ll do what I didn’t do when I was a boy.
He sat down and thought and he pondered a lot.
What to do in the winter? What to do when it’s hot?
I’ll teach him to sail. I’ll teach him to fish.
He’ll be just like me. At least that’s what I wish.
We’ll play baseball together. We’ll play until dark.
We’ll go places, just us. Like the zoo and the park.
“Now wait just one minute. One minute there buster.
There’s more than one sex!” Said Mrs. Seuss in a fluster.
Of course, he admitted! I would be thrilled with a girl.
A girl in my world would put my world in a whirl!
What I said before, change the ‘him’ to a ‘her’.
If she doesn’t like those things, she’ll like a tea party for sure.
I’ll be there and be smitten. I will be patient and listen.
I’ll be hugging them daily. They’ll be smothered with kissin’.
‘Cause no matter their sex, no matter their size,
No matter their nose or the color of their eyes.
I will always be there for them, just you wait and see.
For they deserve you my dear, and they’ll have ALL of me!
If this was the attitude every father had,
Indeed, he would be successful. He would be a good dad!
The End…(With apologies to Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss.)
Oh my goodness! Said the startled young man.
What did you tell me? Say it again if you can!
I’m going to be a father? Oh my, oh my!
How did this happen? Tell me why, tell me why.
A baby is coming! What can I say, what will I do?
A baby is coming, part me and part you.
“Now take a deep breath”, said his wife in a dither.
“I am the one who is going to deliver.”
With that he calmed down. And took it all in.
His eyes opened up and he started to grin.
I’ll soon be a dad. I’ll soon have a child.
That is so wonderful. But also frightening and wild.
So Mr. Seuss began thinking. He was feeling the joy.
We’ll do what I didn’t do when I was a boy.
He sat down and thought and he pondered a lot.
What to do in the winter? What to do when it’s hot?
I’ll teach him to sail. I’ll teach him to fish.
He’ll be just like me. At least that’s what I wish.
We’ll play baseball together. We’ll play until dark.
We’ll go places, just us. Like the zoo and the park.
“Now wait just one minute. One minute there buster.
There’s more than one sex!” Said Mrs. Seuss in a fluster.
Of course, he admitted! I would be thrilled with a girl.
A girl in my world would put my world in a whirl!
What I said before, change the ‘him’ to a ‘her’.
If she doesn’t like those things, she’ll like a tea party for sure.
I’ll be there and be smitten. I will be patient and listen.
I’ll be hugging them daily. They’ll be smothered with kissin’.
‘Cause no matter their sex, no matter their size,
No matter their nose or the color of their eyes.
I will always be there for them, just you wait and see.
For they deserve you my dear, and they’ll have ALL of me!
If this was the attitude every father had,
Indeed, he would be successful. He would be a good dad!
The End…(With apologies to Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss.)
