ADVICE! Everyone seems to be full of it. For instance, people will tell you who should you vote for; what you should eat; how to spend and save your money; and how to raise your kids. I could be guilty of the last charge--“how to raise your kids”. Actually, I AM guilty. But let me explain.
You’ve heard this advice on advice. “Free advice is usually worth what you pay for it”. It’s largely true. Advice you get for free often comes from people who don’t know enough to get paid for it. On the other hand, people who really know what they are doing have something of value and they don’t routinely give it away for nothing.
Here is some more advice on receiving advice and, of course, it is free! Have an idea of the motive and/or background of the person advising you. For example, here are some thoughts to ponder.
- Would you trust a used car salesman to tell you which car is best for you?
- Would you take dieting advice from an obese person?
- Would you trust a priest to know how to save your marriage?
Trust is not the key determinate for accepting someone’s advice, for very many trustworthy people give well-meaning yet bad advice. I think the key in evaluating advice is motive. What is the motive of the sage giving you this guidance? Are they selling you something? Are they innocently biased? Are they knowledgeable? But even knowing their motive isn’t enough! Every decision is a personal one. What is right for one person may not be right for you.
This brings me to my title. “Free Advice is Often the Most Honest”. Having stated all the warnings of above, when someone has nothing to gain by the advice they give, you know it comes honestly and from the heart. Absolutely, that has nothing to do with how this advice will work for you! It does however remove any bias of gain on their part, although I’m not denying that receiving agreement is a sort of gain. That brings me back to how to raise your kids.
Honest Fathering Advice
I give what I think is honest fathering advice on this “Helping Fathers to be Dads” blog. While I do have bias’s regarding fatherhood, none have to do with gain on my part. I have no blog advertisers and never intend to have one. I receive no speaking fees and spend hours a week on this blog without getting anything more than satisfaction.
But wait, you say, you are selling your book via your website. I am, but only receive about 80 cents per book sold through Amazon or Barnes and Noble, and I give away quite a few. I don’t expect to ever get back what I have put into my book on being a good dad. That would take multiples of thousands of book sales! But I didn’t write the book to make money. I wrote it because I saw a need—a very important need and it is worth all the time and money I spend on it. Still, my advice is just that. It doesn’t necessarily fit your situation, but I think it is worthy of consideration.
Here it is! Free Advice!
Since I know how difficult it is to keep up, click on this link to browse some (not all) past articles of mine. Look through them and read what seems most interesting. Better yet, I would love to hear from you if you find one article particularly helpful.
There is always something new to learn as a parent, and what better topic on which to be knowledgeable? Thank you for considering my advice! I have nothing to gain except more healthy families in my world.