How are you holding up? It’s been a tough few weeks during the COVID-19 crisis. Hopefully, we are at the end of the beginning, and the beginning of the end is something we are looking forward to with great anticipation. Paychecks, escapes, and relationships are all being affected. One relationship that will be tested is our marriage and the strain of unintended circumstances.
If you’re stuck with your wife for days on end, it’s pleasant - at first. But we aren’t meant to be glued to each other. It’s like ice cream. I love ice cream, but it’s not good to eat a whole gallon. I will definitely want more ice cream, but not until the memory of that gallon has left my stomach. Don’t feel guilty! She feels the same way about you. Occasionally, absence does make the heart grow fonder, and time to one’s self is necessary, even for extroverts.
What happens is we become more familiar with our wives in ways we aren’t accustomed - being together a greater amount of time and at unfamiliar parts of the day. We see and hear things that are new to us.
Woman: I don’t mind, you decide.
Man: Ok.
Woman: No I don’t like that.
Man: Ok.
Woman: No, I don’t like that either.
Man (fake-smile): Sure, you choose...
We’ll come out of this ‘change in our lifestyle’ and, hopefully, no relationships will be damaged. Stress causes us to do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. Patience, understanding, and realizing you are no prize to be around either, will help the situation. For me, it could be much worse. I could be in isolation with Joy Behar! (I’m sure she’s a nice person, but “Take away my sharp objects!”)
If you’re stuck with your wife for days on end, it’s pleasant - at first. But we aren’t meant to be glued to each other. It’s like ice cream. I love ice cream, but it’s not good to eat a whole gallon. I will definitely want more ice cream, but not until the memory of that gallon has left my stomach. Don’t feel guilty! She feels the same way about you. Occasionally, absence does make the heart grow fonder, and time to one’s self is necessary, even for extroverts.
What happens is we become more familiar with our wives in ways we aren’t accustomed - being together a greater amount of time and at unfamiliar parts of the day. We see and hear things that are new to us.
- I know I have had enough of watching doctors while in this Covid-19 disaster. I don’t mean Drs. Fauci and Birx, I mean Dr. Phil, Dr. Pimple Popper, and Dr. Oz. My wife, Kathy, loves these shows and they never end! “My 600 Pound Life”, “90 Day Fiancée”, “Say Yes to the Dress”. What a plethora of weirdos, puss, and ego. I don’t even have a baseball game to escape to.
- I stopped watching ‘The View’ when Barbara Walters left. I never really tuned in anyway, but Kathy use to watch as I wandered the house. She still tunes in when I’m not around, but if she does while I’m home (and I’m always home these days), I’ll go into a sound proof room or go for a walk. I can handle Whoopi, but Joy Behar? If you want to know everything I knew when I had a Top Secret clearance, just put toothpicks on my eyelids and make me watch clips of Joy Behar with the sound up. Yikes!
- Then there is the Kardashians! Sure, I’ll take peak at the poolside scenes, but what a load crap!
- Besides TV, I see things I never saw before, like my wife’s real hair color, and people jumping off the sidewalk into traffic just because I’m walking towards them.
- You’ll discover that when your wife wears makeup, it’s not for you! And she has no one to impress, so…
- We males do like sex. That fact and ‘stay at home’ orders has driven our wives to be more honest. The “too busy”, or “I have a headache”, excuse is being replaced with a forceful, “not interested”! Fair enough.
- I thought by being home it would at least save us money on shopping! But there is the dreaded Amazon at the touch of a few keys! And you don’t even get the house to yourself for a while!
- Netflix, what to watch:
Woman: I don’t mind, you decide.
Man: Ok.
Woman: No I don’t like that.
Man: Ok.
Woman: No, I don’t like that either.
Man (fake-smile): Sure, you choose...
- Without buddies to talk to, I meditate on the world’s unanswered questions with my wife. But she still gets confused when I ask a rhetorical question.
- “How do the police handcuff a one-armed man?
- “How should I know?” she says. Open hand smashed against my forehead!
- Kathy is reverting to being a mom to me. She used to ‘send me to my room’ by saying, “why don’t you go to see your mom or go play golf or something?” Now, it’s literally “go to any room I’m not in!”
- "The endless ‘Honey-can-you-do-this?' list. I don't mind a few simple to-dos, but sometimes I’m in the middle of my own project or thoughts. But if I don’t move right now, I’m considered uncooperative and obstinate. “Love to help, but just a second, it’s my turn on ‘Words with Friends’!”
- Where’d that come from? Guys, I think you know what I mean. It’s like a lightning strike on a clear day. Your wife, “You know what you did!” (NO! I don’t!) - You can see it in their face and hear it in their voice when something is bothering them. Should I ask and get it over with, because it will NOT go away. Or hide in my man cave and pray it’s not something I did? If you do ask and, miracle of miracles, it’s not you, don’t make the mistake of trying to fix it. Just bow your head, look sad, and tell her, “I’m here for you.”
We’ll come out of this ‘change in our lifestyle’ and, hopefully, no relationships will be damaged. Stress causes us to do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. Patience, understanding, and realizing you are no prize to be around either, will help the situation. For me, it could be much worse. I could be in isolation with Joy Behar! (I’m sure she’s a nice person, but “Take away my sharp objects!”)
