Author around 6 yrs Sometimes we feel trapped. Trapped by circumstances that make us feel weak and frustrated. This challenge is true for parents and their children. The first step necessary to escape from this feeling or circumstance is to have a goal, something for which to strive. Usually, a goal involves a specific desired situation, but sometimes a goal is just relief.
To escape any situation or to move to a better situation, you must have a plan. A convict who wants to escape from prison studies guard schedules, finds or fabricates tools, coordinates with outside forces, creates trusts, any myriad of things to find the plan the will best work to escape. But without a plan that continues after the escape, he will end up right back in prison.
Escape from my childhood chaos eventually became a reality because I had a plan. I didn’t consciously say to myself, “I need a plan”, but fortunately I had a broad, loose plan that worked. Basically, the unconscious plan was, ‘you become what you think about’, and with those thoughts, you hope you are helped by providence to do the things that will get you there. Outside of that, I had no real plan nor did I understand its significance, but before a plan there must be a goal. Escape, as it inspired the convict, in itself is a goal! And a darned good one because escape infers you are someplace you don’t want to be.
In my book, ‘The Power of Dadhood’, I wrote about four steps to reach a goal.
Expanding on the above:
A Short Story of Escape
In my transition from a meek, nervous kid, to an officer flying jet aircraft for the US Air Force, I loosely employed every step above. By loosely, I mean I didn’t know these things when I was a kid. No one had taught me these things.
I was very fortunate to reach my goal. It all could have been so much easier, and I may have gone further had I had help and direction. My father was absent by choice, and my mother was absent by necessity. The good fortune of having a goal made my escape successful. And, speaking of goals, the goal of this article is to make parents aware that they can teach their children helping them to help themselves. Any child that can understand and follow the advice above will surely have a force behind them. Not only a force of knowledge, but the resources of caring parents.
To escape any situation or to move to a better situation, you must have a plan. A convict who wants to escape from prison studies guard schedules, finds or fabricates tools, coordinates with outside forces, creates trusts, any myriad of things to find the plan the will best work to escape. But without a plan that continues after the escape, he will end up right back in prison.
Escape from my childhood chaos eventually became a reality because I had a plan. I didn’t consciously say to myself, “I need a plan”, but fortunately I had a broad, loose plan that worked. Basically, the unconscious plan was, ‘you become what you think about’, and with those thoughts, you hope you are helped by providence to do the things that will get you there. Outside of that, I had no real plan nor did I understand its significance, but before a plan there must be a goal. Escape, as it inspired the convict, in itself is a goal! And a darned good one because escape infers you are someplace you don’t want to be.
In my book, ‘The Power of Dadhood’, I wrote about four steps to reach a goal.
- Know yourself well. Know and accept your desires and capabilities.
- Decide clearly and honestly where you want to go.
- Develop a plan to get there.
- Have the right attitude to keep your plan in action.
Expanding on the above:
- It’s essential to know yourself well! That means not overstating or understating your abilities. You’re not going to be an astronaut if you have bad eyesight, nor will you be an astronaut if you think you are not astronaut material (even if you are).
- Deciding where you want to go is the goal. As stated, it must be clear and an honest desire. Without those qualities, you are very unlikely to reach that goal.
- Planning is where most people fail. They want but don’t act. They act but act inconsistently or in the wrong direction. Or they act in the right direction but give up at the first failure. All plans must have room for failure baked in. Actions include reactions - positive reactions!
- Attitude is the force the pushes the plan through. It is the reaction that overcomes failure. If you lose a positive attitude, you lose….period.
A Short Story of Escape
In my transition from a meek, nervous kid, to an officer flying jet aircraft for the US Air Force, I loosely employed every step above. By loosely, I mean I didn’t know these things when I was a kid. No one had taught me these things.
- I did not know myself well. I undervalued myself immensely. But I did have a burning desire.
- Here I was strong. I knew clearly and honestly, where I wanted to go. I wanted to be a pilot!
- I had no plan. I had no idea how I was going to become a pilot. What I did have were two things that served as my plan for many years. I thought about it all the time. And I think ‘you become what you think about’. Secondly, I did my best in school. It was the only thing I had control over – and it served me well.
- Attitude – I didn’t have the best attitude because I was so unsure of myself. But attitude comes in many forms. My attitude was fueled by my desire. Desire pushed me forward, but it did not fill me with confidence. That made it a difficult journey. Nevertheless, my schooling kept my plan in action until help arrived. Magically, support seems to arrive to help anyone who works towards a reasonable goal with determination and demonstrated effort and unending desire. My help came in the form of an academic scholarship to college. The scholarship allowed me to join Air Force ROTC, then the Air Force, then USAF Undergraduate Pilot Training. I got the wings I had dreamed of as a little boy.
I was very fortunate to reach my goal. It all could have been so much easier, and I may have gone further had I had help and direction. My father was absent by choice, and my mother was absent by necessity. The good fortune of having a goal made my escape successful. And, speaking of goals, the goal of this article is to make parents aware that they can teach their children helping them to help themselves. Any child that can understand and follow the advice above will surely have a force behind them. Not only a force of knowledge, but the resources of caring parents.
Author at 23 yrs
