The author's 4 yr old granddaughter (This is the type of conversation a parent should have with their child when they deem it appropriate)
Do whatever you want! Sounds nice, and it is! But doing what you wish to requires responsibility and boundaries. I’ll get to the limitations later, but first, doing what you want is very important to your success!
Some artists and authors couldn’t manage a grocery store, and grocery store managers often can’t draw a decent circle or write an original sentence. If one were born into a family that managed grocery stores but had an artistic flair and desire to be creative, they could be coaxed or fooled into thinking they must do what their parents do. They also may have been convinced that art is a waste of time, especially financially. Hearing this over and over, and not being understood by others, could give one serious doubts.
I know a man who became a priest at the urging of his parents. His parents were very proud of him! He, too, believed he wanted to be a priest – until he went to the seminary and found his enthusiasm lacking compare to the other students. Maybe he wanted something else in life but never gave himself the freedom to explore those thoughts. When he finally did, he was wearing a clerical collar and knew it would devastate his parents if he were to give it up.
My three adult children all earned a college degree. My two daughters wanted an advanced education, and they went at it enthusiastically. My son, however, is a hands-on kind of guy. Formal education was a challenge to him, not because he wasn’t smart; he is very much so. He went to college because we expected of him. At first, he went to engineering school because I did. But that wasn’t him. Then he joined Air Force ROTC because I did. But that wasn’t him. I never once suggested either of those avenues. He had no plan of his own because college wasn’t his thing. My wife and I fought him for two years to keep it up, to graduate. As parents, we thought it best, but after two years of pushing, we decided we had to stop.
“Okay, do what you want, Mike. Quit if that’s what you need to do”, we told him. No more would we pressure him to stay. As a result, he remained in school and got his Bachelor’s Degree. He complained no more because it was his decision! Now, in two years, he will retire from the Army as a helicopter pilot and highly ranked Warrant Officer. He became successful because he did what HE wanted to do.
The Limitations
Of course, you can’t do whatever you want. There are laws, ethics, common sense, and others to consider. You should never cheat, steal, or lie to get what you want. That’s obvious. Be careful of following the crowd, fads, peer pressure, and being too accepting of other’s views. Remember that you must sometimes forfeit what you want for the better of loved ones. As an example, don’t be out with your buddies if your child has a concert or a play. Always consider others when making decisions for yourself, but don’t be a slave to those considerations. It is mostly just common sense, but we don’t always use it, and some don’t have any. You owe it to loved ones to communicate with them your hopes and dreams. They will most likely help you!
Success/Happiness
Financial success may come even in a circumstance where you aren’t happy. However, it’s not very likely you will enjoy it. Happiness will never happen just because you’re successful, or just because you made someone else happy while going against your desires. You can be successful in a dishonest way, but that will not make you happy unless you’re a sociopath. You have to be your persona within the limitations by which we all live. In short, happiness is success! Making a positive difference is success! The best there is! So do whatever you want – but remember the social limitations. Recognizing those limitations may help you to reach your happiness!
#powerofdadhood
Do whatever you want! Sounds nice, and it is! But doing what you wish to requires responsibility and boundaries. I’ll get to the limitations later, but first, doing what you want is very important to your success!
Some artists and authors couldn’t manage a grocery store, and grocery store managers often can’t draw a decent circle or write an original sentence. If one were born into a family that managed grocery stores but had an artistic flair and desire to be creative, they could be coaxed or fooled into thinking they must do what their parents do. They also may have been convinced that art is a waste of time, especially financially. Hearing this over and over, and not being understood by others, could give one serious doubts.
I know a man who became a priest at the urging of his parents. His parents were very proud of him! He, too, believed he wanted to be a priest – until he went to the seminary and found his enthusiasm lacking compare to the other students. Maybe he wanted something else in life but never gave himself the freedom to explore those thoughts. When he finally did, he was wearing a clerical collar and knew it would devastate his parents if he were to give it up.
My three adult children all earned a college degree. My two daughters wanted an advanced education, and they went at it enthusiastically. My son, however, is a hands-on kind of guy. Formal education was a challenge to him, not because he wasn’t smart; he is very much so. He went to college because we expected of him. At first, he went to engineering school because I did. But that wasn’t him. Then he joined Air Force ROTC because I did. But that wasn’t him. I never once suggested either of those avenues. He had no plan of his own because college wasn’t his thing. My wife and I fought him for two years to keep it up, to graduate. As parents, we thought it best, but after two years of pushing, we decided we had to stop.
“Okay, do what you want, Mike. Quit if that’s what you need to do”, we told him. No more would we pressure him to stay. As a result, he remained in school and got his Bachelor’s Degree. He complained no more because it was his decision! Now, in two years, he will retire from the Army as a helicopter pilot and highly ranked Warrant Officer. He became successful because he did what HE wanted to do.
The Limitations
Of course, you can’t do whatever you want. There are laws, ethics, common sense, and others to consider. You should never cheat, steal, or lie to get what you want. That’s obvious. Be careful of following the crowd, fads, peer pressure, and being too accepting of other’s views. Remember that you must sometimes forfeit what you want for the better of loved ones. As an example, don’t be out with your buddies if your child has a concert or a play. Always consider others when making decisions for yourself, but don’t be a slave to those considerations. It is mostly just common sense, but we don’t always use it, and some don’t have any. You owe it to loved ones to communicate with them your hopes and dreams. They will most likely help you!
Success/Happiness
Financial success may come even in a circumstance where you aren’t happy. However, it’s not very likely you will enjoy it. Happiness will never happen just because you’re successful, or just because you made someone else happy while going against your desires. You can be successful in a dishonest way, but that will not make you happy unless you’re a sociopath. You have to be your persona within the limitations by which we all live. In short, happiness is success! Making a positive difference is success! The best there is! So do whatever you want – but remember the social limitations. Recognizing those limitations may help you to reach your happiness!
#powerofdadhood
