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Describing Fatherhood Using Sports Terms – PG 13

1/10/2014

8 Comments

 
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Being a dad is the most rewarding responsibility you'll ever have. While it’s very important to not ignore the growing tragedy of poor or missing fathers, for most of us being a dad is really a wonderful and mostly fun experience. It’s time to have some fun with fatherhood. Since most dads like sports, I thought I would describe being a dad using sports terms. See the list, by sport, below. If I missed a good analogy, let me know.

Mike



Football terms:

Punt – not changing a diaper by pretending you don’t smell it.

Going all the way – why you’re a dad

Neutral zone – when you lock yourself in the bathroom for peace and quiet

False start – when that look on your toddler’s face turns out to be… just gas!

Incomplete pass – when your wife ignores that gleam in your eye.

Double team – sometimes required when giving your kid a shot, or a haircut

Running outside – when dad doesn’t put the diaper on correctly

Kickoff – what infants do to their socks

Onside kick – what happens when your kids sleep with you

Baseball terms:

Wild pitch – your attempt to convince your wife into letting you go out with the guys

Balk – what your kids do when it’s time to go to bed.

Scoring position - a very rare occurrence when you have young kids

Relief pitcher – your spouse when he/she gets home

Intentional walk – what you take when you just can’t handle anymore

Passed ball – what you get after your toddler swallows a ball

Rundown – what you get from your wife when you get home

Sweet spot – see scoring position

Spitball – self-explanatory

Designated hitter – babysitter


Single - a past life that seems like a dream ;)

Double play - definitely a dream!

Basketball terms:

Draining a 3 – potty training your toddler

Triple threat – triplets, or the consequences of a very sick child

Dribble – self-explanatory

Pick and roll – what you do with a full diaper

Hockey terms:

Slap shot – a form of discipline when you were young


Goal Keeper – something every dad should be

Boxing term:

Bob and weave – what you may have to do while changing your son’s diaper


Tennis term:

Love - self-explanatory!

Have fun with your kids!

8 Comments
Randy
1/10/2014 06:48:17 pm

FUNNY!

Reply
PBR
1/11/2014 09:52:40 am

Great Mike, keep them coming! I've enjoyed almost all of your posts! :)

Reply
April McLellan
1/15/2014 03:16:20 pm

This is totally appropriate for a fatherhood blog. It's classic dad humor. ;)

Reply
(Dada) Mike Heenan link
10/12/2014 02:56:40 am

Great list! Those analogies are perfect. I'm going to try to think of some and report back.

Reply
Mike link
10/12/2014 11:32:33 am

Looking forward to it Mike! If I know you, football analogies will rate over baseball.
Thanks for reading!

Reply
Larry link
10/12/2014 02:25:06 pm

Funny list. Some laughs here.

Reply
Mike link
10/12/2014 05:15:40 pm

Thanks Larry! I didn't get much reaction to the list back in Jan. But I read them again and actually snickered, so I tried to get some more mileage. :)

Reply
assignment writing services link
11/29/2015 05:43:51 pm

A sportsman is a person who has ability to perform in front of millions of people. There are so many people in this world who want to become a sportsman but they don’t get their desirable post because they don’t have ability to do it.

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