Being a dad is the most rewarding responsibility you'll ever have. While it’s very important to not ignore the growing tragedy of poor or missing fathers, for most of us being a dad is really a wonderful and mostly fun experience. It’s time to have some fun with fatherhood. Since most dads like sports, I thought I would describe being a dad using sports terms. See the list, by sport, below. If I missed a good analogy, let me know.
Punt – not changing a diaper by pretending you don’t smell it.
Going all the way – why you’re a dad
Neutral zone – when you lock yourself in the bathroom for peace and quiet
False start – when that look on your toddler’s face turns out to be… just gas!
Incomplete pass – when your wife ignores that gleam in your eye.
Double team – sometimes required when giving your kid a shot, or a haircut
Running outside – when dad doesn’t put the diaper on correctly
Kickoff – what infants do to their socks
Onside kick – what happens when your kids sleep with you
Wild pitch – your attempt to convince your wife into letting you go out with the guys
Balk – what your kids do when it’s time to go to bed.
Scoring position - a very rare occurrence when you have young kids
Relief pitcher – your spouse when he/she gets home
Intentional walk – what you take when you just can’t handle anymore
Passed ball – what you get after your toddler swallows a ball
Rundown – what you get from your wife when you get home
Sweet spot – see scoring position
Spitball – self-explanatory
Designated hitter – babysitter
Single - a past life that seems like a dream ;)
Double play - definitely a dream!
Draining a 3 – potty training your toddler
Triple threat – triplets, or the consequences of a very sick child
Dribble – self-explanatory
Pick and roll – what you do with a full diaper
Slap shot – a form of discipline when you were young
Goal Keeper – something every dad should be
Bob and weave – what you may have to do while changing your son’s diaper
Love - self-explanatory!
Have fun with your kids!