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Daughters and their Moms and Dads

11/21/2014

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PictureRachel and April on Rachel's Wedding Day
Girls need their mothers to learn from, to believe in, and to challenge. Girls will become their mothers in many ways even though they would often deny that fact. Girls need their fathers too! Fathers are sounding boards and relief from their mothers. They have different attitudes with their fathers. Often girls approach their mothers with built-in tension. If they have a caring father, there is much less tension involved simply because men and women don’t compete at the same level.

My wife and I have two of the most perfect daughters anyone could ever have! They are even perfect in their imperfections. They both have those down perfectly! But their imperfections are the things that make them perfectly normal. When it comes down to the important things in life, they are all a parent could hope for. They are now both married with children.


PictureApril's family
April is the oldest of our three children. She is the academic, graduating Summa Cum Laude as a journalism student at the prestigious School of Journalism at the University of Missouri. She went on to get a Masters in Counseling. We always thought April would lean towards having a career, and she did, waiting to thirty years of age to marry. However, being mother is her chosen priority as of now, with a six year old and a one year old daughters. Both of whom have stolen my heart!

April works as a Career Counselor at Washington University in St. Louis, part-time as of now. The campus atmosphere and the academic aura is very appealing to her. She thrives when helping others! April and her husband Mike are matched perfectly. That’s not to say they don’t have to put up with a few small things, like we all do with our spouses. Mike is one of those guys that knows everything, I mean literally! Although I’m much older, I go to him to educate me on most matters.

PictureRachel's family
Our youngest child is Rachel. Like her sister, Rachel’s occupation involves helping others. She graduated with Master Degree in Occupational Therapy. Her specialty is working with patients who have had serious brain injuries. Because of the injuries she sees, Rachel is not happy that I own a motorcycle. She scolds me whenever she sees me or anyone climbing too high on a ladder. 

Rachel was the one that wanted to be a mom since she was a little girl, but she didn’t get married until she was twenty nine years old. As it turned out, she had a great life prior to marriage. But she used to ask me, “Dad, will I ever get married?" I told her there was no doubt. She was quite a catch!

What strikes me about Rachel is the number of close friends she has made over the years, and they never seem to part ways. She’s a real people person. Her husband Kevin is the easiest going guy to be around, quiet and unassuming. He loves sports and has made Rachel a baseball fan after I was unable to get her to be interested.  Kevin and I talk sports and go to baseball, basketball, and football games together. 

Rachel and Kevin have a son, our only grandson, who is almost two years of age. His name is Ryan and he is my buddy. Ryan loves trains, planes, and automobiles. When we babysit him, I spend hours sitting in my truck with Ryan, in the driveway, where he pretends to “drive-drive”.  Kevin and I can’t wait for Ryan to join us playing and following sports. Rachel is now pregnant with her second child, a girl. How she can be as cute and wonderful as the other three grandkids, I don’t know. But somehow they always are! My wife and I so thrilled to be blessed with these children.

Kathy and I sometimes stop and thank our lucky stars for having children who are happy with families and careers they love. Our family life has had turmoil like many do. Our kids had to put up with some of their parents antics, and we had to put up with theirs (and still do). But there was never any doubt of our support and love for each other. My daughters’ love for their brother is unparalleled! When he has been in hazardous duty situations, serving in the Army, they had difficult months worrying about him. And while my son Mike is not as open about his love for his sisters and their kids, it’s definitely there! They all have each other’s’ back.

My blog is about being a dad! I hope you can see, through my words, what a wonderful thing it can be. Son’s need a dad to see how to properly be a man. Daughters need a dad to show them how to be properly treated and fulfill a need they all have to be accepted by a man as a woman. While my wife Kathy was the primary care taker of our children, as is the case in most families, I was a very important part of their lives and I took that very seriously. Any man that doesn’t look after the needs of his family has abandoned maybe THE key role of his life. I can’t say I understand it, but I know it is not always the fault of the father alone. Still, to not stand up to your responsibilities as a father, or to fight against all odds to do so, means something is missing in their heart. That could have been caused by the lack of a real father of their own.

I like to think I had an intangible influence on my daughters’ choice of husbands. Certainly they are different than me, but there is one common thread. We all three are totally absorbed in and committed to our children! We want to be with them, teach them, and prepare them for their futures. Yes, girls need their mothers to learn how to be women. And they need their fathers to know what kind if men they want in their lives. Hopefully your daughters will want men like you, dad, if you are a good example. Hopefully they will choose men unlike you if you are not a good example. 


The trouble is this. If you are not that good example, where will your daughters find one, and will that person be trustworthy?

1 Comment
April
11/28/2014 05:01:24 pm

I am so lucky to have you!

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