The author and his book. My father and I didn’t do many things together. He did, however, occupy my thoughts often as I struggled through the first few decades of my life, eventually moving into the background by my fortieth year. But his ghost returned as I neared retirement – by choice. I decided I wanted to make something out of his wasted life, at least as a husband and father. Maybe, through me, he could help other fathers to become dads.
It took many years to capture and organize my thoughts. My memories were hazy. The gaps in time and space were epic. But that didn’t matter, not as much as my lack of writing experience. My studies were of numbers and engineering, not words. I wrote mostly in bullet format, random thoughts, a little philosophizing, and a lot of chaotic rambling. When I thought I had finished, I dropped my collection of words to my oldest daughter, a Summa Cum Laude graduate of the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism. She gave it back to me, saying, “Dad, you have to organize this!” She was right!
Three or four more years, many rewrites, a writing coach, and three editors later, spending a small boatload of money I’ll never recover, I was finished. Even more shocking, I found a publisher willing to take a chance of what I had written. It is entitled, “The Power of Dadhood – How to Become the Father Your Child Needs.”
I was not too fond of the subtitle. It was the publisher’s idea, and who was I to argue? The publisher, Familius LLC, was giving me the chance of a lifetime, at least as an author. My thoughts had always been self-publishing, but here was a publisher that was giving me legitimacy! The reason I didn’t care for the subtitle is that every father is the father his child needs, but not every father knows how to do it well. Even the finest of men who give their all to a child as a step-father, mentor, or surrogate will be compared to a child’s ‘what-if’ biological father.
My book has sold a few thousand copies over the years. Not bad for a first-time author. It’s even been translated into simplified Chinese. But I will never come out ahead financially, and that’s okay. There’s a quote that I can’t remember, but it goes something like this, “Anyone who writes and loses money is a fool.” Well, I raise my hand as I place my court jester hat on my head! I wrote this book initially for my family, extended family, and our future generations – but then I decided I wanted to share with anyone who would take time to read it.
So, I wrote this book to help families! Society improves one child at a time. If that is, the child is loved, mentored, and raised by involved and passionate parents. Its hard work, but not difficult. It's the first duty of every parent. As neglected children decrease, a balanced and caring society will grow, and all our fortunes will be raised!
