Broken families are tragic! A caring society can fix them.
These are very common problems in broken families. And every family with these issues impact each of us through crime, crowded hospitals, unwed mothers, terrified neighborhoods, higher tax dollars; I could go on and on. Yet we give relatively little attention to educating parents or helping families stay together. We may 'Save the Whale', and that's good. But when will the tag line 'Save the Family' be the more familiar theme?
Below you will find Eileen's Story. A true story depicting the issues one broken family has experienced and which still cascade through its generations.
Thank you for your story Eileen and especially for allowing me to share it.
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"Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning" . . . J M Barrie
I was recently on the east coast and able to see my granddaughter turn 5 years old and attend her first day of kindergarten. I watched her father participate in both. It truly is a joy when you see a family unit being so involved. In the world of such bad news, it does give you hope for the future. And though the focus of your blog is fathers and sons, I know it applies to all.
Having moved on in years now and looking back ~ lives truly can be changed for the better even though you didn't get the best from your parents. But too often they don't! My biological father was a pedophile and my mother an alcoholic. This can definitely impact what a child thinks of as "normal" when in reality, it is so far off the charts of wrong, it's unimaginable. It perpetuates every aspect of your life until you realize it wasn't normal ~ nor was your concept of what love is.
I was able to put sense to all of it a little later in my life. But my heart breaks to see my siblings still living in the cycle of their beginnings. I have lost one brother to drugs; one sister lives in an alcohol delusion most months of the year, and although help is there for her, she chooses to use every excuse she can grasp to not accept it. My heart breaks after so many years of trying to help, and wishing I could go through it for her. I do know she has to do it herself but the odds of that are slim to none. The affects still can be seen in her grown children, grandchildren and now a great grandson that will probably never know her. I am blessed and honored to be in their lives. But my sister is the one who should be at their graduations, weddings, and life. She is missing so much! I could not and would not trade the role I have in my childrens' lives for anything on earth. I cannot understand her choices.
Not having proper coping skills as a young person, my escape came in the form of reading. This got me through tough times. Back then, when the doors open on a school morning, everything is swept up and kept there until your life is about keeping secrets from everyone you know. You learn to bury your very existence and create a person or persons even you don't recognize in yourself. It still affects your life later, but choosing to step out of it, get past it, stop accepting or stop using the excuse of a bad childhood. . . there still is life.
As you said in a blog about parenting, "most is common sense" and yes it is, but it's only common sense if someone KNOWS it! And for those that do have common sense, there is still something to learn for everyone interested in being the best mom or dad for their children.
It would be nice to have your blog be REQUIRED reading in correctional facilities, or to have your book available for new father's to buy while in that gift shop they run into for a teddy bear and balloon. Not to add to your busy life, but a course or two taught at such institutions would be a bonus ~ nothing like a captive audience!
So keep shooting for those stars ~ SOMEONE, somewhere will always notice.