A couple of weekends ago, I masqueraded as a wedding photographer. Although I had no experience in photographing weddings, a niece of my sister-in-law asked if I would shoot hers. She based her decision on photos on my personal Facebook page. I do love photography as a hobby, but I don’t consider myself technically confident or competent. You can view my photos page – which I haven’t updated in some time – to see only photos I allow to be there. After explaining to Kelsey, the Bride to be, that it was risky for me to photograph such an important event in her life was something she should give more consideration, I was still her wedding photographer.
I realized then how much I didn’t know about photography. Flash photography was definitely not a strength. I hadn’t used any flash outside of my pop-up flash in many years. Most of my photos were of landscapes and family, where second chances can become third and fourth chances. I use auto mode more than I like to admit, and I had become even lazier, taking almost all my photos on an iPhone 11 (which does a fantastic job). After secretly considering using my iPhone to photograph the wedding, I imagined how silly that would look. Not the photos, but me running around with an iPhone trying to be a ‘professional’ photographer.
Of course, I jumped to the Internet and googled ‘Wedding Photography.’ That research helped, but I found conflicting advice. Some said use shutter priority outdoors while others believed in aperture priority. All advised photographing in ‘raw’ and not in ‘jpeg.’ I had always stayed away from raw photos in fear, and the amount of memory it ate up.
Mentioning to a friend that I was going to shoot a wedding, and him knowing my angst, he asked a photographer buddy to talk to me. His name was Fran, and he saved me with tons of good advice! I bought a new flash for this assignment, but it wasn’t TTL (through the lens). Fran loaned me his TTL flash (this took out a complication) and suggested an ISO setting. His advice likely saved half my photos, especially those indoor photos.
With this introductory story, why is it relevant to fatherhood or parenting in general? It is a metaphor on so many levels!
Editing
Here is where photography and parenting depart. If a photographer is fluent in photographic editing, he or she can correct many of the mistakes made the moment the shutter opens and closes. Lighting can be adjusted, cropping can get rid of unnecessary detail, colors can be brightened, and bad moments can be deleted. Corrections in parenting are not quickly or easily done! But….
You can learn from your mistakes! It takes focus on your part. Remember what worked and didn’t work. Did you put too much light on your child, like a floodlight on an interrogation? Was there not enough light, not enough to learn anything? I could go on, but I think I made my point.
Summary
The lessons of these photo/parenting analogies will only stick with you by reviewing them just as you would a photo album. After all, what good are photos if you don’t look at them, enjoy them, or learn from them? Photography is not difficult, but we rarely get the shots others do because we don’t dig deep enough into the topic, or we are too easily satisfied. It’s also true for parenting!
Happy picture taking and parenting--and may all your photos and children bring joy!
I realized then how much I didn’t know about photography. Flash photography was definitely not a strength. I hadn’t used any flash outside of my pop-up flash in many years. Most of my photos were of landscapes and family, where second chances can become third and fourth chances. I use auto mode more than I like to admit, and I had become even lazier, taking almost all my photos on an iPhone 11 (which does a fantastic job). After secretly considering using my iPhone to photograph the wedding, I imagined how silly that would look. Not the photos, but me running around with an iPhone trying to be a ‘professional’ photographer.
Of course, I jumped to the Internet and googled ‘Wedding Photography.’ That research helped, but I found conflicting advice. Some said use shutter priority outdoors while others believed in aperture priority. All advised photographing in ‘raw’ and not in ‘jpeg.’ I had always stayed away from raw photos in fear, and the amount of memory it ate up.
Mentioning to a friend that I was going to shoot a wedding, and him knowing my angst, he asked a photographer buddy to talk to me. His name was Fran, and he saved me with tons of good advice! I bought a new flash for this assignment, but it wasn’t TTL (through the lens). Fran loaned me his TTL flash (this took out a complication) and suggested an ISO setting. His advice likely saved half my photos, especially those indoor photos.
With this introductory story, why is it relevant to fatherhood or parenting in general? It is a metaphor on so many levels!
- I thought I was a pretty good amateur photographer, and maybe I was in a very narrow area. However, I had so much more to learn! The same is true in fathering!
- I already knew how to focus on what was important. But what’s going on in the background was made much more apparent--so true in good parenting.
- Parenting, like photography, has many variables. You must sort them out and choose what aspects are most important at any moment—lighting, depth, action, focus, moments, etc. See if you can see the analogies of photography to parenting
- With lighting, so many variables exist.
- How much light do you allow? Too dark and you miss what’s important. Too much light, and you blow out detail. Analogy: be involved but not too involved with your children’s lives. See them for who they are and can truly be.
- Is natural light sufficient, or will you need something to help you see the subject better? Analogy: You may need more than your eyes, more information, research, or the input of others when your parenting is not working as well as you would like it to be.
- What ISO setting? This setting determines the sensitivity to light. Analogy: every kid is different. Their personalities and sensitivities must be taken into consideration when mentoring them.
- What aperture do you use?
- A small aperture will add detail to the background but restricts light requiring a slower shutter speed. Analogy: a parent can miss the forest for trees, seeing particular behavior but not knowing why it is occurring. A longer attention span towards your child is letting the light shine on your child, perhaps allowing the picture to be more exact.
- A large aperture will blur the background and give you subject more attention, but you must decrease your shutter speed, or the subject will be overexposed. Analogy: Too much attention on your child without considering the background can be a mistake, overexposing him or her unfairly.
- Using the auto setting is lazy! Sure, you can get some good results, but almost anyone can do it, and you have given up control. A good photo could have been a great photo with a little more thought. When in doubt, you should default to the auto setting (standards) in parenting. But don’t forget your child needs specialized attention sometimes using tools you can use to focus, add depth, shine the best light on or increase/decrease ISO (sensitivity) for specific moments.
Editing
Here is where photography and parenting depart. If a photographer is fluent in photographic editing, he or she can correct many of the mistakes made the moment the shutter opens and closes. Lighting can be adjusted, cropping can get rid of unnecessary detail, colors can be brightened, and bad moments can be deleted. Corrections in parenting are not quickly or easily done! But….
You can learn from your mistakes! It takes focus on your part. Remember what worked and didn’t work. Did you put too much light on your child, like a floodlight on an interrogation? Was there not enough light, not enough to learn anything? I could go on, but I think I made my point.
Summary
The lessons of these photo/parenting analogies will only stick with you by reviewing them just as you would a photo album. After all, what good are photos if you don’t look at them, enjoy them, or learn from them? Photography is not difficult, but we rarely get the shots others do because we don’t dig deep enough into the topic, or we are too easily satisfied. It’s also true for parenting!
Happy picture taking and parenting--and may all your photos and children bring joy!
It was a fun and memorable wedding!
