Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a ‘Thesaurus for Victims’? Just think about how better their life and language would be if they could replace their words of entitlement and victimhood with words of responsibility and encouragement! The list below may not be a real thesaurus, but something like it could be a start.
How one acts, thinks, and speaks, defines them. It doesn’t take long for most of us to size up someone if we are tuned in. If you’re an interviewer, you’re listening for hints about the interviewee whether the interview is for a job, a loan, or acceptance into a group. Keywords and certain attitudes will make the interview a success or failure. If you’re a parent, you may want to think like an interviewer when talking to your children on occasion. If you detect a victim attitude, it’s time for corrective action.
Who would you want as your son, or friend, or brother? Vic or Tim?
Vic was a victim because of all the adversity he had to face. He had real excuses for the failures that led to his suffering. He was never fairly treated and often blamed for the mistakes of others. His excuse is never being given the opportunities to which he is entitled. Vic needed to be understood, and he could only get that if he had a safe space with people who sympathized with him.
On the other hand, here’s Tim;
Tim is challenged by the goals he sets for himself. He meets head-on, the obstacles he faces. He accepts his struggles and takes responsibility, not only for his mistakes but for problems that may have been caused by the mistakes of others. He reasoned that his lack of success could only be corrected by first owning his decisions and miscalculations, correcting them, then moving forward. Tim knew he didn’t know all the answers and needed to communicate with knowledgeable mentors. He tried to consider the ideas of others.
Give me a Tim any day! You can have Vic…especially if you’re looking for excuses.
Summary
A real victim personality would never look for a ‘Thesaurus for Victims’. No! Anyone who feels entitled wants everyone to know they are entitled. Anyone who thinks they are mistreated wants the world to know it. There is no market for a ‘Thesaurus for Victims’. Vics don’t want it, and Tims don’t need it. Therefore, if you are a parent or mentor of a young person who tends to make excuses, it’s up to you to correct their behavior before it’s too late. We never judge people poorly when their failures are of effort and when they admit their mistakes. We judge them poorly (the Vics of the world) on their lack of effort and lack of ownership. Don’t be a victim! Even if you really can claim to be! It’s powerful!
#powerofdadhood
- Don’t be a victim. Do be a victor
- Don’t have a feeling of entitlement. Do earn what you want.
- You don’t have adversity. You do have challenges.
- You don’t need a safe space. You do need to communicate.
- You don’t want to whine. You do want to win.
- Don’t give excuses. Do give effort!
- Don’t think life should be fair. Do know real life is not fair.
- Don’t look for fault. Do look for solutions.
- Don’t blame. Do find answers.
- Don’t suffer in inaction. Do fight with action.
How one acts, thinks, and speaks, defines them. It doesn’t take long for most of us to size up someone if we are tuned in. If you’re an interviewer, you’re listening for hints about the interviewee whether the interview is for a job, a loan, or acceptance into a group. Keywords and certain attitudes will make the interview a success or failure. If you’re a parent, you may want to think like an interviewer when talking to your children on occasion. If you detect a victim attitude, it’s time for corrective action.
Who would you want as your son, or friend, or brother? Vic or Tim?
Vic was a victim because of all the adversity he had to face. He had real excuses for the failures that led to his suffering. He was never fairly treated and often blamed for the mistakes of others. His excuse is never being given the opportunities to which he is entitled. Vic needed to be understood, and he could only get that if he had a safe space with people who sympathized with him.
On the other hand, here’s Tim;
Tim is challenged by the goals he sets for himself. He meets head-on, the obstacles he faces. He accepts his struggles and takes responsibility, not only for his mistakes but for problems that may have been caused by the mistakes of others. He reasoned that his lack of success could only be corrected by first owning his decisions and miscalculations, correcting them, then moving forward. Tim knew he didn’t know all the answers and needed to communicate with knowledgeable mentors. He tried to consider the ideas of others.
Give me a Tim any day! You can have Vic…especially if you’re looking for excuses.
Summary
A real victim personality would never look for a ‘Thesaurus for Victims’. No! Anyone who feels entitled wants everyone to know they are entitled. Anyone who thinks they are mistreated wants the world to know it. There is no market for a ‘Thesaurus for Victims’. Vics don’t want it, and Tims don’t need it. Therefore, if you are a parent or mentor of a young person who tends to make excuses, it’s up to you to correct their behavior before it’s too late. We never judge people poorly when their failures are of effort and when they admit their mistakes. We judge them poorly (the Vics of the world) on their lack of effort and lack of ownership. Don’t be a victim! Even if you really can claim to be! It’s powerful!
#powerofdadhood
