A dad’s perception of his parenting is usually better than fact, at least in the ways he handles situations and challenges, which is more of a 'seat of the pants' approach. Often a mom’s perception of her parenting is that she is never good enough--but usually her parenting is more perfect than she may think. It depends on her ‘perception of perfection’. When some of us think of perfection, what we are really thinking of is fantasy. In the world of fantasy there are no problems. Birds sing, flowers bloom, babies never cry, each cloud is puffy white, everyone is pleasant, the series “Jersey Shore” never happened, and doors have no locks. But fantasy is not perfection, fantasy is escape.
The real world has questions that require answers and challenges to be met. This will never be truer than when you are a parent. Having to deal with fevers, ear infections, and discipline is what parents do. Toddlers learn naturally through trial and error. Adolescents are similarly maturing and will make many errors and adjustments along the way. Personally, your own challenges will make you stronger because resistance is required to build strength. Any weightlifter will tell you that. Weightlifters get to the point where they thoroughly enjoy the act and challenge of weightlifting. The most successful people similarly enjoy their challenges--it makes them better!
So what is my perception of attainable perfection? Perfection is the application of proper reactions to everyday life to the best of your ability. You won’t always meet that standard, of course, but given this definition, perfection is changing a dirty diaper. For a dad that might include a less than thorough clean up. For a mom, that might require Aquaphor, baby powder, and a check to see if the diaper is too loose or too tight. Perfection is also correcting your child, when necessary, without causing a scene. Perfection is balancing a marriage, career and parenting. To do that, none of the three can be perfect on their own! Perfection is finding answers and meeting challenges. Perfection is not an easy or idyllic life. It is handling life, as necessary, as best as you can.
You may fantasize about a life with no problems and it is good to escape once in a while. However, you will always have to come back to reality. When you do, you’ll be coming back to a less than perfect life, but likely much more perfect than you had previously thought, especially for you moms. If you meet your responsibilities and challenges head on, then you are living life as intended, and near perfection. A near perfect parent!