This malady extends to many other issues, but the one that concerns me, in this forum, is not being open to learning the skills necessary to be the best dad possible. Men don’t come pre-wired for fatherhood - not that I have seen. We may be pre-wired to love and protect, but not so much to ‘show love’ and to nurture.
In becoming fathers, we seem to ‘play it by ear’, gamble a bit, and employ a little trial and error. But for these methods to work, you must have an ‘ear’, you must recognize errors and then correct them, and gambling with your family is foolish.
Making mistakes as a father is not only normal, but it’s expected if you are really trying. These mistakes are your best teacher - the lessons that really stick with you. Dads, as opposed to fathers, are looking for better ways to parent their children at all times. When mistakes are made, or when you have no answer to a situation, dads will take that extra mile to get help - to get directions.
Dads can find help if they are looking for it. There are other fathers who can act as mentors. You can discuss a situation with the children’s mother, or you can read a parenting book.
READ A PARENTING BOOK!?
Yeah, I know. It sounds not only desperate, but beyond boring! And to be honest, many of them are boring and/or academic. But your kids are mighty important! They are worth a little effort. And because they are worth the effort, I wrote a book on being a dad. I did so after reading a few parenting books and found some good and others bad. The advice was usually good, but the delivery was often bad and often academic. Why write a book if no one can get into it?
A good parenting book needs to:
- Be encouraging
- Have good advice
- Be easy to read
- Have short paragraphs
- Be able to read in relevant pieces or straight through
- Have highlights and summaries
- Be useful for any and all types of fathers and children
- Be useful from infancy to adulthood
Don’t take your parenting for granted. Be the best dad you can be! Get help even as you help others.