​41 Useful Thoughts for Parents, Kids, and Other Humans

You’ve seen lists before. Let me explain where my list comes from. I reviewed my book, “The Power of Dadhood” to pick up some of the lessons meant for fathers to pass on to their kids, and the list below is what came out of it. This list looks deeper into some truths of life.

The problem with lists is they don’t get into the details. Sometimes they are self-explanatory. Other times you say to yourself, “I don’t think I agree with that”.  Maybe you don’t, which is okay, but maybe a short sentence or two doesn’t get the point across correctly to everyone.

With that said, here is a shortcut (versus reading my book) of some of my thoughts, intended mostly for parents to live and teach -- but useful thoughts for anyone to consider. Notice that those things under “It’s not” aren’t really bad, but there is usually something deeper that is better. Of course, my book goes into more detail because our kids and we, ourselves, deserve to understand these simple truths. Who better to teach them than mom or dad?
 
It’s Not This, It’s That*

1. It’s not the act that is important. It’s what’s behind the act.
2. It’s not how much you are around physically. It’s how much you are around mentally.
3. It’s not how much money you have. It’s how you manage it.
4. It’s not how much you hear. It’s how much you listen.
5. It’s not how much you give. It’s how much it hurts to give.
6. It’s not what you do for others in public. It’s what you do for them in private.
7. It’s not what you know. It’s what you do with the knowledge.
8. It’s not your presents that counts. It’s your presence.
9. It’s not how many friends you have. It’s how many friends you can count on.
10. It’s not what you do. It’s what you do well with grace.
11. It’s not how good you look. It’s how good you feel.
12. It’s not what you fear. It’s how you face it.
13. It’s not how smart you are. It’s how wise you are.
14. It’s not what you promise. It’s what you do.
15. It’s not your rules that bring order. It’s your consistency.
16. It’s not what you teach. It’s the example you set.
17. It’s not what you want. It’s what you work towards.
18. It’s not things or people that make you happy. It’s your attitude and gratitude.
19. It’s not failure that breaks you. It’s your lack of persistence.
20. It’s not your effort alone that brings success. It’s your effort and a solid plan.
21. It’s not your talents that shape you. It’s your challenges.
22. It’s not how much you love. It’s how much you show your love.
23. It’s not punishment that corrects behavior. It’s understanding and communication.
24. It’s not to be loved you want. It’s to be loved with respect.
25. It’s not how hard you work. It’s how smart you work hard.
26. It’s not what you want for others. It what others want that you help them to achieve.
27. It’s not facts that are most important in learning. It’s how to think creatively.
28. It’s not the opinions of others that should sway you. It’s your own analysis that counts.
29. It’s not your accomplishments that impress others. It’s your humility.
30. It’s not what you do for your children that helps them. It’s what you teach them to do for themselves.
31. It’s not the time you spend with your children. It’s what you do within that time.
32. It’s not consequences that are bad. It’s not having consequences.
33. It’s not your successes that define you. It’s your kindness, discipline, and values.
34. It’s not mistakes that are the issue. It’s not learning from them.
35. It’s not rewards that keeps one going. It’s passion.
36. It’s not fear that holds one back. It’s not facing the fear.
37. It’s not what you learn from education. It’s where you take it from there.
38. It’s not that you can be anything you want. It’s doing those things under your control to be what you want.
39. It’s not others that can hold you back. It’s your own self-doubt.
40. It’s not what you can do. It’s what you intend to do that counts.
41. It’s not a village that can best raise a child. It’s having two loving and nurturing parents.

*  Not from my feeble brain, but from much research. Notice those (around 25%) that are mostly directed at parents.

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