There are absent fathers, bad fathers, good fathers and very good fathers. I haven’t made up my mind which is worse of the first two. Absent and bad fathers are a discussion for another time. I do know that every father can be a better father. It has a great deal to do with awareness. To help with awareness, below are 10 habits we men can get into that can hurt our effectiveness as fathers.
1. Lack of Focus – giving halfhearted attention to parenting.
It happens to all parents to some degree in moments. Unfortunately, there are some parents where this inattention happens way too frequently. Parenting must have more focus in not only families but from the private and government leaders in this country.
2. False Priorities –something is always more important to do at the moment.
It could be a deadline to be met, bills to be paid, the grass needs mowing, or you haven’t exercised yet. How about taking a walk with your kid after coming home from work, or getting on the floor and playing with cars or dolls? Your children are a huge priority you should consider. Then pay your bills.
3. Lacking Attention to Detail – dealing with issues your children may have, without really understanding the problem.
When a father comes home and punishes or praises a child for a situation they, the father, misunderstand, it can cause harm or confusion. It is very critical to get the facts before you react. Know your children inside and out.
4. Procrastination – it’s like the sign in the bar that says, “Free beer tomorrow”.
When you realize that you need to attend to your children, don’t find yourself waiting for the right moment that never seems to come.
5. Climbing the Ladder– Young dads are also getting established in careers.
Getting established in a career is important and a problem. It’s not really a bad habit. The habit is giving too much time to your career. Making an impression at work must be balanced with making a very important impression on your children.
6. Squabbles –It happens in families!
When mom and dad are constantly fighting about this and disagreeing about that, nothing gets done and children suffer. Beyond that, show a united front to your children in all matters that concern them.
7. Parental Ignorance – Not knowing how to handle children or the situations they present is a real issue.
Too many fathers rely on their gut to raise their children. It’s much more important and complicated raising children than to trust your gut without some other knowledge or experience. Educate yourself, ask questions, read up and pay attention.
8. Lack of Mentoring – Men need help being dads.
Much of the ignorance in parenting is when men who were not raised by fathers become fathers. They have no reference of how their dad handled certain situations. Even remembering what was handled incorrectly can be of help. Men are adverse about asking for help, especially in this area. Be open to advice on parenting. Friends, uncles, grandfathers, etc. can help.
9. Lame Interests – Video games? – Really?
There are many lame interests, some not mentionable. Have your innocent fun, block out times for yourself, but NEVER let them dominate your time with family!
Summary
I admit to being guilty of at least eight of the nine habits above. Some often, some rarely, most without really realizing it. None of us are perfect as men or fathers. We will always fail in that goal. But we can always strive to improve, but improve how? I’ve tried to present some areas above to consider which, hopefully, will help you evaluate yourself as a dad. Simply not being aware of your habits can cause serious family issues. If reading any of these habits make you feel a little uncomfortable, it will be a big step in an effort to be a better dad!
1. Lack of Focus – giving halfhearted attention to parenting.
It happens to all parents to some degree in moments. Unfortunately, there are some parents where this inattention happens way too frequently. Parenting must have more focus in not only families but from the private and government leaders in this country.
2. False Priorities –something is always more important to do at the moment.
It could be a deadline to be met, bills to be paid, the grass needs mowing, or you haven’t exercised yet. How about taking a walk with your kid after coming home from work, or getting on the floor and playing with cars or dolls? Your children are a huge priority you should consider. Then pay your bills.
3. Lacking Attention to Detail – dealing with issues your children may have, without really understanding the problem.
When a father comes home and punishes or praises a child for a situation they, the father, misunderstand, it can cause harm or confusion. It is very critical to get the facts before you react. Know your children inside and out.
4. Procrastination – it’s like the sign in the bar that says, “Free beer tomorrow”.
When you realize that you need to attend to your children, don’t find yourself waiting for the right moment that never seems to come.
5. Climbing the Ladder– Young dads are also getting established in careers.
Getting established in a career is important and a problem. It’s not really a bad habit. The habit is giving too much time to your career. Making an impression at work must be balanced with making a very important impression on your children.
6. Squabbles –It happens in families!
When mom and dad are constantly fighting about this and disagreeing about that, nothing gets done and children suffer. Beyond that, show a united front to your children in all matters that concern them.
7. Parental Ignorance – Not knowing how to handle children or the situations they present is a real issue.
Too many fathers rely on their gut to raise their children. It’s much more important and complicated raising children than to trust your gut without some other knowledge or experience. Educate yourself, ask questions, read up and pay attention.
8. Lack of Mentoring – Men need help being dads.
Much of the ignorance in parenting is when men who were not raised by fathers become fathers. They have no reference of how their dad handled certain situations. Even remembering what was handled incorrectly can be of help. Men are adverse about asking for help, especially in this area. Be open to advice on parenting. Friends, uncles, grandfathers, etc. can help.
9. Lame Interests – Video games? – Really?
There are many lame interests, some not mentionable. Have your innocent fun, block out times for yourself, but NEVER let them dominate your time with family!
Summary
I admit to being guilty of at least eight of the nine habits above. Some often, some rarely, most without really realizing it. None of us are perfect as men or fathers. We will always fail in that goal. But we can always strive to improve, but improve how? I’ve tried to present some areas above to consider which, hopefully, will help you evaluate yourself as a dad. Simply not being aware of your habits can cause serious family issues. If reading any of these habits make you feel a little uncomfortable, it will be a big step in an effort to be a better dad!
